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For Bully Awareness Month |
You're ugly. You're stupid. You'll never amount to anything. No one will ever like you. If you think he'll stay, you're mistaken. You have no friends. People hate you. You are a freak. You have no place here. You are nothing more than a coward who is too afraid to step outside half the time. Your face is like something from a horror movie. No one will ever truly fall in love with you. Guys want girls that are beautiful and face it, you are considered everything but that. Hide behind your hair dye because you want to feign like you don't care. But inside the cruel eyes of others burn holes into your soul. You will never amount to anything. The only thing you will ever be good for is cleaning up dog shit. You will never be good enough. Why bother even dreaming? How can you consider the possibility of love when everything you do, the way you look, walk, talk, move, think, can only ever be seen as ugly. Not only is the outside hideous; the inside is no better. Why do you think you've never been on a date? You have nothing going for you because even your personality sucks. Your eyebrows are too thick. Your nostrils are shaped funny. Your face is too big and fat. Your shoulders too broad. Your stomach's too weird. Your eyes are nothing special. Your hands and feet too large to belong to a woman. Your teeth are crooked. Your nose too big and wide. Your build is something that can never be desired. You don't need to be here. You have no point, no place. Nothing to live for. Just kill yourself already. Voices set on replay like a record in my head, playing every single time I wish to sleep or glance at my reflection. Because sometimes in life you find, the biggest bully of them all, aren't the trolls and sharped tongued teens you find online and in school buildings. Sometimes the cruelest tormentor, the one wishing you ill will, is the person staring out at you from a sheet of glass, mirror. You are your hardest critic. This has been said before but, sometimes I can't help to think that maybe all these things are said for a certain reason. Sticks and stones may break bones but bones can be set and healed. Yet words slice through your brain and soul etch permanent cracks on the heart. No matter how much glue you use, the cracks always remain just below the surface and each time they feel better; each time the pain weakens, the words start up again. Impaling you with truths that cut deeper than any knife could do and causing much more damage. Who can save you from yourself? Who can stop the evil thoughts, if you haven't the ability to make them go away yourself? I am my own enemy. The destroyer of my own soul. Hi, my name's Rebecca. And I am a bully. |