The Most Unlovable Man in the World

Part 1

"Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Farnum and Dailey circus! Tonight you'll see freaks and geeks and funny little clowns! You'll witness death-defying antics and have a close encounter with an elephant named Waldo! And, our special attraction tonight is none other than the 'Most Unlovable Man in the World'! Would you like to meet him? Then sit tight folks and enjoy the show!"

So goes my intro, night after lonely night. I'll stumble onto the stage to boos and hisses. Children will throw their popcorn and candy bits at me. I'll roll on the ground and pretend to be hurt by the stinging missiles. Then it really heats up! The ringmaster brings out his whip and begins to beat me, while the crowd roars with laughter and screams out: "Kill him, kill him!" When my skit is over, I shed tears the color of blood, while the people shout: "More, more!" Finally I exit the stage, limping as I go, the small arena in a frenzy. My part ends. It's over, for now.

What the people don't know is that the tears are real. Every night, show after show, I cry true tears. For you see, I am the "Most Unlovable Man in the World!" I've never known love, or kindness. My life has been one of pain, ridicule, scorn, and hatred. Never to have been touched, not even by my own mother. When I was born, so the story goes, they brought me to my mother and she spit into my face and said: "Good gawd! This is the ugliest child ever to take breath from the world." I never saw her again after that day. Yet, oddly, I remember it as clearly as I remember yesterday. Not the words mind you, but rather the look of disgust on her face. That look haunts me to this day.

I spent many years at an orphanage. The Director was cruel and would beat me with a stick at the slightest provocation. The other orphans avoided me, whispering about me in the halls, calling me names. One day, a little boy came up to me and said: "Hello," and then punched me right in the gut, causing me to vomit my breakfast in front of the entire group. Apparently, one of the older boys put him up to it on a dare. After that I was allowed to eat my meals in private, something I still practice to this very day.

One day a man came to the orphanage to speak to the Director. His name was E.T. Farnum. He had heard about the freakish little boy who dwelt here, and inquired as to whether he might purchase me for his circus. Of course, such money exchanges were quite illegal. Nevertheless, and to no surprise, the Director accepted his offer and I was sold to Mr. Farnum for the equivalent of thirty dollars. My life changed on that day. Some would say for the better. Yet I wonder.

Well, my name has been called. Time to entertain the masses. Nothing ever changes. Every town is the same. And why shouldn't they be? After all, I am the "Most unlovable Man in the World."

Show Time...


Part 2 - Love Conquers All


I've told you my story already, how I came to be in "The Greatest Show On Earth." How I was unloved, even by my own mother. Never knew my father. Spent my formative years at the orphanage. Never knew anything but humiliation and scorn. Yes, 'tis a sad story, to be sure.

But I want to tell you now about something that happened to me last Friday night. Something wonderful. There I was, performing my little skit on the last show of the day when suddenly, and to everyone's surprise, a voice cried out: "ENOUGH!" It was while I was being beaten with the ringmaster's whip that the voice was heard. Everyone looked around to see from whence the shout came, but it was somewhat of a mystery. Then it happened! A little girl came out of nowhere and stood right in the middle of the stage. But she was no ordinary child, I'd swear to it. She had the face of an angel, and eyes that had a softness to them when she looked at me. But when someone from the crowd yelled out: "On with the show," her eyes turned to a fiery flame as she glared at the people. From that moment on no one dared say a word! Indeed, it became so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Even the animals remained silent.

She once again turned her attention to me, as the ringmaster eased off the stage. I fell to my knees before the child as she... as she... she touched my face. No one had ever touched me in a kind way before, never in my 29 years of life in this world. Then she spoke. Her voice was not like a child's voice at all. It had the sound of a gentle flute, yet I clearly understood the words. She said simply: "Thomas," (that was my given name, though no one ever allowed me the dignity to be addressed as such), she said: "Thomas, I have been sent here to tell you that you are loved, and that you always have been. May you have peace and rest from your labors, Thomas."

She turned to walk away and as she exited the arena I quickly got to my feet and followed her, but when I reached the exit door and looked about, she was nowhere to be found. I looked up at the night sky. It was a clear night and there were a billion stars in the sky. I have to say, I'd never really noticed their beauty before this night. But as I stood there, looking into the heavens, I suddenly felt a warmth flood my body, a warmth such as I had never experienced before. It was then that I fully understood. My life does have meaning, a purpose, as it were. I am loved, after all.

The next morning I walked into the office of E.T. Farnum and turned in my resignation. Can't say that he was surprised, as everyone was aware of what had occurred the evening before. Still, he never said a word. No apology. Nothing. Just handed me my severance pay and showed me to the door. Things really hadn't changed, at least not for others. But something had changed deep inside of me, to be sure. No more would I allow myself to be the object of someone else's ridicule and prejudice. No more would I permit myself to be the fool that everyone laughs at. No, I am free now to pursue my education. Or to explore the world. Or to do whatever I choose to do. For you see, I am no longer the "Most Unlovable Man in the World!" Someone loves me, and that is the greatest gift that anyone could ask for. To be loved and cherished, and to have been given the hope of a brighter future...



Part 3 - Love Thrives!


The last time we spoke I told you about how my life had changed for the better. I had been ridiculed and scorned for years. Never had any self-worth. Never thought about my future. Then, one evening, an angel from above had been sent to me to inform me that I was indeed loved, after all. I didn't fully understand what it all meant at first, but I was overwhelmed with gratitude to say the least. A year has gone by, and I wanted to share with you some wonderful news. If you'll recall, I was raised for a number of years in an orphanage. The director there was a cruel man who beat me often, all because I was ugly and different. After my rebirth, as I like to call it, I got to thinking about all the orphans still left in the world. So I took my severance pay, along with money I had saved over the years performing in the circus for a certain E.T. Farnum, and I purchased an old abandoned schoolhouse on the outskirts of London. It hadn't been used in years and needed some freshening up, and not a few repairs. But with a little help from the locals I had it up and running in short order. After securing all the needed certifications, I named it the Thomas Woodward School for Orphans. You see, that is my birth name, a name that was obscured for most of my life, as few people ever dignified me by addressing me by my given name. But now there it was on high, showing itself to the world. Not that I'm high-minded about it of course, no. I like to think of it as a reminder that all things are possible in life.

Soon I was being sent orphan children from all over London. I had no restrictions, really. Any child up to 16 years old was welcome here. The only qualification per say is that they be orphans, needing love and schooling. Due to my financial limitations, I could only hire two teachers; one for children 2-10 years old, and one for children 11-16 years old. But I held out and engaged only the very best! Not only did these teachers need to meet high academic standards, they had to have demonstrated over the years that they truly loved children. Yes, for you see, my children deserve the best that life can give them! After all, they've already been dealt a bad hand, they not having parents and all.

Now at this point I'd like to tell you about a very special orphan that I've especially come to love. When she was small her home caught fire, and her mummy and daddy were killed. To make matters worse, she had suffered burns over eighty percent of her body. When she first came to the orphanage, I noticed that the other children tended to ignore her. And she said nary a word, no, but instead would be off to herself most of the day and night. Her teacher tried her best to bring the little girl, who's name is Katie, out of her shell, but with poor results. Then one day I had an epiphany of sorts. I thought to myself, here I am the former 'most unlovable man in the world!' But now I'm loved and cherished. What made the difference for me was when someone went out of their way at great risk to let me know I was loved. So one day during class I walked into the classroom and introduced myself. Now the children had rarely seen me, and only from a distance. But now here I was in all my inglorious ugliness, right before their very eyes. Needless to say, all the children got quiet and had anxious looks on their faces. So I sat down gently in front of them all and told them my story, just as I've told it to all of you. After I was done, and to my surprise, they all came up to me, one by one, and gave me a hug. Why, it brought tears to my eyes. But there sat Katie in her corner chair, eyes cast downward. I called to her:

"Katie, come here darling."

She looked up at me and I could see that her eyes too were brimming with tears. I repeated:

"C'mon little Katie, it's okay dear."

As she stood up and slowly walked toward me, all the children watched with eyes agog. I sat her down beside me and said to her:

"Now, Katie, you've heard me tell my story to everyone. Now it's time that you told us yours. It's okay sweetie, we're all here for you."

Well, for the first time she spoke. And spoke. And spoke. Why, she went on for an hour! Not just about the awful fire, but about her mummy and daddy and teddy and her doggy named Fritz. It was the second most memorable moment of my life, next to my rebirth. Because you see, Katie was having a rebirth of her own. Yes, from that day on all of the children began treating her like any other. After a time no one saw the burns anymore, just a beautiful little girl named Katie Lynn.

So there you have it. I wanted to share with you a bit of my joy. Life is wonderful. I hope and pray that life is equally wonderful for each and every one of you! Until the next time...