Pain from Within

unending pain; unending sorrow

I feel dead inside, I feel hollow


The truth was strong and tough to swallow


But I live and I learn, I’ll strive to move on


It’s all broken inside but I go along


Smile on the outside shattered within


Makes me wonder if I’ll live


It’s a trauma, it’s chaotic, a disaster of its own


Something I’m not use to but deal with alone


It hit me hard and fast, I don’t feel it at first


Until the shock wears off then it comes in spurts 


Wearing me down it drags me below


And I let it wander and begin to sow


I don’t care what it brings, I don’t care what it bestows


I flow with it, go with it, it’s in control


My eyes are closed my mind is spinning


I’m in a dead zone, no longer living


I feel my lungs expand I hear myself breathe


But I’m not really here it’s not really me


I see the tight rope golden and clear


The border of reality the border of fear


Deep down to my core I am afraid 


I feel like I’ll never get out of this cage


Heart wrenching sorrow engulfs me whole


It consumes and fills me taints my soul


I have no strength I’m starting to give


Because I am afraid to let myself live