The Bright Side

The Bright Side

         This isn't so bad. Steve caught another glimpse of himself in the full-length mirror and didn't flinch this time. The second head really was something to see. The horn was the most distracting feature. It was so...large. He rubbed the horn and the new head turned from side to side, and made a soft cooing noise.

         During the holidays, I'll just hang a wreath on it. It will be the most festive damn thing ever.

         It didn't seem to have any control over Steve, nor did he really have any control over it. It just sort of looked around, and made random sounds.

         Steve, ever the optimist, wasn't really sure what to expect. When the lab exploded, the experimental chemical he'd been working with was sprayed everywhere. His body was splashed in several places, but the largest spot was on his shoulder and neck, where the new head now resided.

         “WHEEEE!!!” The head exclaimed as it looked at the ceiling.

         Steve shook the good head in amazement, then set about locating other affected places on his body. The next largest area splashed was his lower back. Aside from some redness, it didn't appear to be too bad. His arms and legs showed small, quarter sized spots, that were also irritated and red, but unaffected otherwise. Aside from the new head, everything was fairly normal. Since Steve loved hats, this could really be a blessing in disguise.

         Two heads are better than one. Steve told himself, reassuringly.

         “WHEEEE!!!” As the head looked at the floor.

         Not sure what this one is good for, though. He thought. He poked at it with his finger, removing it just in time to avoid getting bit.

         “Raaawr-raawr” The head half-growled at Steve's finger, as he continued to prod.

         The damage to the lab had been catastrophic. Steve had barely made it out alive. He'd raced home, his neck and shoulder on fire the entire way. His neck gave birth to the snarling head less than ten minutes after bolting through the front door. Once started, the whole thing took about three minutes.

         The first few seconds consisted of Steve watching, curiously at first, then silently horrified, as the festering blisters on his skin tore open and gave way to small, heaving mound of flesh. It steadily increased in size until it was roughly the size of a small cantaloupe, then two eyes popped out from behind the flesh. The next couple of minutes were mostly Steve running around screaming, shaking his hands, and bumping into walls. There was also a small amount of writhing around in pain on the floor, as the mouth chewed through. Mostly though, it was Steve, running around screaming like a girl.

         Fully developed, it just looked like a head. An undersized, dented head with a severe acid burn.

         “Well, you're going to need a name.” He said, prodding the head with his finger again, then snatching it away from the biting jaws. It was starting to become a game.

         “WHEEEE!!!” As the head looked at the ceiling again.

         “No, we can't call you Wheeee. That's stupid.” He remarked, wryly. “You need a regular name.”

         “Naaammee!!!” Was the excited response.

         “Yeah. A name.” Steve laughed. “What should it be?”

         “Naaammee!!!”

         “Name, huh?” Steve studied the head. That seemed liked as good a name as any.

         “WHEEEE!!!”

         A loud, frantic knock at the front door caught both of them off-guard and they stared, frozen, at the door for a moment, before looking at each other.

         “Naaammee.”

         “It's okay buddy, it just someone at the door.”

         “Naaammee.”

         The knocking started again, and returned them to normalcy, or whatever that had become, and a concerned voice called out through the door.

         “Steve! Steve-- Are you okay? I heard there was an explosion at the lab!”

         Cheese and crackers! Maria! What am I going to tell Maria?

         “NAAAMMEE!” The head yelled at the door.

         “Steve, I'm coming in--” was the response.

         The doorknob twisted but the door was locked and the knocking began again, quickly turning into pounding.

         “NAA--AMMEE!” The head yelled in a sing-song manner that almost sounded like 'come in'.

         “Just a minute!” Steve yelled as he crossed the room to the door. “Just a minute!”

         He took a deep breath when reached the door, and peeked through the peephole. She was alone. He was certainly relieved about that. This conversation was going to be awkward enough between the three of them, he definitely wasn't ready to bring others in, yet.

         “Before I let you in, you have to promise not to freak out.” Steve said to the door.

         “Steve, that's a terrible way to start a conversation!” The pounding started again.

         “NAAAMMEE!”

         The banging stopped.

         “Did you say name?” She asked.

         “No. Just let me explain.” Steve pleaded through the door.

         “Fine. I promise not to freak out.” She replied.

         “WHEEEE!!!” The head looked at the floor.

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         Once Steve had explained, and Maria had seen for herself, she was out of there. She really liked Steve, but she wasn't into whatever weirdness that was going to become. For a brief second she thought she could be comfortable with it, then Steve put a hat on the new head, and she knew she couldn't do it. She left to the sound of Steve's pleading sobs and the head alternately looking from the ceiling to the floor.

         Dejected Steve rubbed the burn on his back, which suddenly seemed to be stinging more. His science experiment had gone completely wrong, he'd grown a second head, and his girlfriend broke up with him. If nothing else happened, it would be okay with him.

         Just then, the burning in his back became more severe. He raced to the mirror to try and catch a glimpse, while the new head craned his neck around and looked, just as the tail sprung up from behind them.

         “NAAAMMEE!!!” He exclaimed, wildly.

         “Name...” came Steve's dejected response.

         “WHEEEE!!!”

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988 words (including the title)

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Thanks for reading my story! I hope you enjoyed it, and will take the time to read another!

Elf Team Six  (18+) Hilarious story of Santa's special forces. Reading it will make you feel squishy inside. #2105013 by Brick Chicken