Welcome to 2017

“So. Here we are. A new year already. Seems like only yesterday you got married and moved out here to the middle of nowhere.”

“I know. It’s crazy. This whole year was spent getting a feel for marriage, publishing a book, and just enjoying all the insanity life was throwing my way. I loved this year, don’t get me wrong. But hopefully you’ll get us through a calmer year.”

“…”

“Why are you so quiet all the sudden, 2017 Me?”

“Well…”

“Well, what?”

“Have you noticed what day it is?”

“It’s the first. New Year’s Day. Why?”

“You were supposed to have a visitor by today, were you not?”

“…a visitor? What do you mean?”

“…”

“Oh. You mean…Aunt Flo. But that’s okay. Sometimes she’s a little late.”

“…”

“Hey, you can’t just go quiet on me like that! I’m just a little late, that’s all.”

“You say that. But just wait until the 4th. You’ll be taking prenatal vitamins and coping with sore girls all this week, I’ll make sure of it. Aunt Flo’s not coming back.”

“…you’re kidding, right?”

“…”

“No, wait, come back!”

“Your mother and aunt will tell you to wait until Saturday to test. I’ll go ahead and make this the longest three days of your life.”

“Wha…no, you can’t do that! You were supposed to make things calmer!”

“Welcome to 2017.”

227 words