You Don't Know Danger

"Don't do this."
The phrase slips into my mind quietly, unobtrusively. But it's stubborn enough to make me question my intentions.
"Don't do this. I'm begging you, Clair."
I ignore it. I continue raising the knife, preparing to bring it down.
"Clair!"
I open my eyes, gasping, catching my breath. I look at my hands, checking for the blood that covered them in the dream.
As usual, I find none.
I fall back on my pillow, close my eyes.
There's blood on my hands again. I killed him. I killed my greatest nemesis.
"Please, Clair. I'm begging you, don't do this!"
I jolt awake again.
This isn't going to work.
I walk into my bathroom, wash my hands, splash water on my face. I look at my face in the mirror, staring at the tired eyes, pale skin, tangled hair. I barely recognize myself.
I almost killed him. I almost killed Loki. Loki, who's made my life horrible for the past two years. Loki, who stabbed me, kidnapped me, hurt me, ripped me apart just to see what I would do.
Why am I so upset?
I step out of the bathroom and sit on the edge of my bed, too afraid to go to sleep. I can't face this again.
I can't.
Morning arrives shortly and I finally get up. I turn on my computer, knowing there's no way I'm going anywhere today.
There it is.
A simple quote that changes everything.
"If you fell down yesterday, stand up today."
I suck in my breath, re-read it again and again, letting the meaning sink in.
I'm going to stand up.