BLACKOUT

BLACKOUT

His eyes were still barely open and his headache was beginning to throb when the cell phones unanticipated alarm blared!

The muscles in his body involuntarily twitched, when the sudden shrieking startled him! Gritting his teeth, he reached impulsively and fumbled over it with the backs of his fingers, angrily trying to hit the dismiss button!

It laid there he thought, mockingly, yelling at him while doing its job - SQUAWK! - SQUAWK!! - SQUAWK!!! - Finding the dismiss button, it's 'job' was finally terminated!

The shrilling noise exasperated, or more so, embarrassed him for making him jump!Fugghhhck! He mumbled bitterly.

Retrieving his hand from the phone, he swung his forearm to rest upon his forehead. Lying on his back, groaning silently, his vision was blurry and his body was now tense. He could not remember what kind of night it was up to this point?

With the alarms sudden rudeness, dawn was now no longer silent as sleep had once again evaded him. The blackouts that often occurred did not count.

Recently, the night’s hours have been without any dreams and moments awake are made up of only nightmares. Desperately wanting to close his eyes at least for just for a little while or maybe even just pass out would be a blessing. This however, was not going to happen anytime soon, nor was it a privilege to.

For most of the waking and the awaken people of the world, this would be a brand new, beautiful, sunny filled day with the usual hustle and bustle. All the exuberant, bright little faces of 'Go-Getters' doing handsprings over themselves, while at the same time Face-booking, working, texting, tweeting, family, friends et cetera, etc.!! 'Hey world! Look at me, aren't I GREAT!' It was his turn to mock!

He was not at all surprised by his pessimism or jealousies anymore - Make me puke, is actually what he was thinking! The headache now was getting increasingly worse with this rationality.

Shifting his body awkwardly, and subduing those thoughts, he repositioned himself on the couch for where he once found peace sleeping and relaxing on. Now, it was just a place to fall if lucky.

Blankly, his attention turned to watching a tiny universe of dust particles aimlessly floating in the dimly lit room. This spectacle made his mind wander a way for a moment from the headache, studying the minuscule stars glimmering in the vastness of the small room. Their creation, born from the skeletal slices of light coming through the curtains.

Slowly, altering this stupor of the irrelevant ‘dirt flying’ universe, he subsequently yawned and blinked once through blurred vision. Shifting his gaze now to the white ceiling above, staring through it, then exhaling with a fatigued sigh. He needed to get up, but did not budge. 'God' he whispered. 'Help me...'

After two seconds of praying, he grimaced as it felt like twisted rusty nails were beginning to be driven deep into his skull. Knowing all too well, it was the heavy alcohol consumption, cigarette smoking, etc. all from just a few hours ago.

‘What the hell did I do last night?’, he thought perplexed, squinting his eyes to the sun light now making its breach into the room.

Removing his forearm from his forehead, he began to lightly massage his temples with the tips of his fingers and thumb. His thoughts were now starting to gain momentum, to where they were painfully and shamefully carrying him along in their remorseless surge. The staples in his life were slowly dwindling from existence with every reckless actions carried out.

Returning his forearm to his forehead, he stayed paralyzed with these miserable thoughts. This added no ambition to move or to even think anymore.

Then, suddenly in a split second of recollection and rewinding the night’s events he suddenly remembered, ‘Oh yeah, shit! the Craigslist girl!’ - ‘Christ, where is she?’

He reluctantly peeked from beneath his forearm, apprehensively, through the cylindrical forest of empty and some still half-full bottles of booze. The table appeared to have grown a garden of them over night. Seeded and grown by intoxicated, debauched hands.

He squint his foggy eyes and brought them in to focus to the other smaller couch in the room. It was then an enormous relief to see that it was vacant. 'Phew! Thank God!', he thought. The Craigslist girl was not there.

To make sure, he suppressed his thoughts and breathing. Lying completely still to maybe hear if she was somewhere else in the house listening keenly, she was not. Thank God again! The coast was clear! Completely calm was his home.

He couldn't recall when she had left, come over or even remember her name for that matter, but at least she was gone! Fortunately now, there wouldn't be any awkward, 'Hey you really have to go, I have to go to work!' or some other ’just leave’ antidote.

He felt a little relieved now, but was still very much hung-over. - But did wonder if they had a good time? He shook his head at this.

Out of nowhere, a voice heinously growled from deep inside his mind - ‘Let’s go, LET’S GO, COME ON, GET UP!!!

What the HELL was THAT?!’ he panicked, feeling immediately observed by something!

Confused and shaken.

‘It's Just a horrible hangover?!’ Searching for clarity.

‘GEEE-sus', calm-down-man!’ he finally said to himself annoyed!

‘It’s just no sleep and just way to much alcohol!’ he concluded.

He suspiciously then thought, ‘Did the ‘Craigslist girl’ do something to me or something???’

Sighing anxiously to himself, feeling very nervous, he pulled the blanket up to his neck and made sure all his limbs were tucked in. Only his face was visible.

‘What the hell though?' Again, questioning the weird voice he had just heard. He remained motionless for what seemed a very long time and …just...listened.

Still feeling the extreme trepidation of whomever or whatever that voice was, he unfortunately needed to know what time it was now.

He reached in a slow, cautious movement from underneath the blanket for the phone on the coffee table, not wanting to leave the safety from beneath it. His vigilant eyes squinting for the unknown and ears on full alert, just imagining his hand was going to be touched by something menacing. Continuing Hesitantly, he reached over through what felt like an enormous distance to the phone, wincing his eyes.

ABRUPTLY! ... Fingers suddenly touching something- then instantly- CRASH!!! -AAGGGHHH!!! -'JEEES-US CHRIST!!!' He shrieked, in a high-pitched voice! Clumsily, he had knocked over an un-drunk bottle of stale beer! His body convulsed, then completely locked up for a split second!

The bottles glass on glass fall hammered sharply on the table, echoing loudly in the room as it quickly bled out its liquid! Instantaneously, he kicked the blanket off his body and immediately stood up, almost falling from a sudden head-rush!

Cursing and scowling under the thought of his stupidity, his crusty eyes looked around frantically for something to wipe the phone dry and to stop the sticky liquid from invading further on the table! It was creeping exultantly to the glass inlay to the woods recesses. It was futile to stop. It victoriously won its race to the carpeted floor. 'GOD- DAMN-IT!!' He exclaimed loudly, gritting his teeth again! He knew that no-one could have heard him, but the possibility that something may be there to disturb him, still made him feel uneasy.

The rusty nails were still ever present, driving harder and expanding deeper into his mind. The explosive throbbing pursued and intensified! The sudden jump up from the couch, the swearing and ‘the Boogey-man’ did not help the excruciating pain.

Finally, finding a t-shirt and sock sufficed for a quick wipe and soak. He threw the soaked articles at the bottom of the stairs.

This now concluded that the day sucked even more than a few moments ago with this new episode. As if every episode or moment didn’t already suck enough!

Oh well, soon enough he thought. It’ll all be different. It'll all be done and over with. These new thoughts arrived from somewhere?

After the excitement, he sat back down on the couch, found a half smoked cigarette and lit it. Processing everything of the morning, while clearing and drying the phone and its screen. He observed the time and suddenly felt queasy, dragging from the cigarette.

He was once again late for work! But this time it did not matter he quickly realized. Nothing at this point did. No call in or excuses necessary. No sorry to the bosses anymore. No sorry to anyone ever again! Again, these new thoughts came. He took another long drag from the cigarette.

He turned the phone off and put it back face down on the sticky coffee table. Catching himself trembling, he threw the smoked butt in a empty bottle and brought both hands up to his temples and massaged them with more pressure this time. ‘God...' he prayed again. Only shorter this time.

- Time to get at it, You Ready? Let’s go.’ The intruding voice was back.

He then drew a deep breath, exhaled through a sigh and started towards the garage.