No And No

Not pleasing the people who need it most, feeling guilty, and doing nothing about it.

This is the noise that keeps me awake,
the tie-dyed sentiments flung
from dirt that can't be un-dug,
and this is me saying no
to a wish that "no" isn't an answer to.
The curl, pulled straight.
The antidote, failed.

Nothing good can come of this
and that's why I'm here.

This is the lookalike and this is the duplicate
and I am the difference
that goes unnoticed
until it's too late.
There's something, and nothing,
and something from nothing,
but I walk on the outline of the void-
I won't fall in from the push;
my recoil does all the work for me.

Let's not and say we did
before we have to pretend,
or at least until we get caught.

This is the noise that keeps me awake
and this is the escape I can't seem to make
when I least expect it
but that's what I'm doing now
and no one's gonna tell me otherwise
even if they wanted to.
Like a joke not worth explaining
to people who don't understand laughter,
I can't help myself from myself.

          30 Lines, from "World By Design"