I Remember

I REMEMBER

Inspired by the book "Cupboard Boy" by P T Saunders

I remember the light from inside being blocked out, as his huge figure filled the door frame.
I remember the first time I saw his black face and his contrasting white teeth.
I remember his smoky breath as he bent down to greet me and said hello.
I remember that first night that I stayed in that strange, damp, smelly, and noisy house.
I remember the sound of strangers laughing and talking at the top of their voices.
I remember the sound of Reggae Music vibrating through the bedroom floor.
I remember feeling lonely, scared, and just wanting to go home.
I remember the sounds of his fist connecting with my mother's face and of her pleading with him to stop. Whilst I lay in that damp and smelly bed.
I remember the sudden silence, and thinking my mum was dead.
I remember the first time he gave me a belt. The pain was like no other that I had ever felt.
I remember lying on my bed feeling hungry after the evil bastard sent us to bed without having been fed.
I remember sneaking down the stairs and stealing some bread.
I remember the clout he gave me across my head 'for stealing,' he said.
I remember thinking that I'd be better off dead than having to sneak downstairs to steal bread.
I remember the window I accidently smashed.
I remember seeing my balls in the yard, that had all been slashed.
I remember the day Little Paul first flew through the air, as he was thrown without a care.
I remember the time I heard Paul's head bounce off every stair, as he was dragged to the cupboard under the stairs
I remember Little Paul squealing like a thousand frightened pigs, as he was dragged outside by his hair and stripped bare.
I remember my sister being burnt by the fire whilst trying not to cry.
I remember the smell of the plasma as it tainted the air and ran down her legs.
I remember the day Paul was told that he had cancer at just nineteen years old.
I remember him dying and his body getting cold still only nineteen years old.
I remember.
I wish I didn't