Search for Hope

Written for " Magic Words Contest " . Prompt: Use the words from List 1 (compass, elixir, port, surreptitious, wind), List 2 (air, celestial, earth, fire, water), or both. I chose to do both.

Word Count: 4998

Oi broke the surface of the water and gasped for air. The exercise was good for his lungs, though he'd occasionally wondered if one day he might not reach the surface in time. He cupped his hands and paddled to shore. The chilled water felt warmer now, but he knew the fire Sahrn had built would be welcome. His pupils were dilated from lust and darkness. Sahrn was Oi's life mate. She just didn't know it yet.

"Why do you do this at night?" she chastised. "It's not safe in the water at night. You know that."

"It can't be that dangerous. I've been doing this for a while now and I always come back."

"So far--"

"So far, so good." A smile broke across his lips. He approached the fire to warm himself.

As Oi reached for a towel intended for him, Sahrn took the pot holding dinner and placed it on the towel before he could grab it. He was grateful for the fire as he was chilled to the bone.

"Uh, I sort of needed that."

"No, you didn't."

Sahrn wasn't the cuddlest coo in the forest, but she could hold her own in a fight. That was sexy. That was necessary.

Oi stirred the pot a moment, then brought the spoon to his lips to taste.

"KOS! That's hot!"

"Of course, you nahnah. What did you expect? It just came from the fire."

"I guess I expected I was more of a tole than I am."

"You? A tole, Oi? No. But you aren't a coo, either, so I suppose you're good enough."

"Gee, thanks." His smile reflected the fire light and he settled down to await his bowl.

Sahrn spooned a large helping of the meaty broth into a bowl, then squatted to enjoy her meal.

Why did I think she was going to serve me? He annoyed himself. Oi took the spoon, served himself a large helping, then squatted across from her. Sahrn wasn't bad at many things, but she wasn't particularly good at cooking...not bad, but not particularly good. Her meat dishes tended to be tasteless. As the first spoonful slipped through his lips, he was surprised.

"You did something different."

"I added a bit of sea water."

"Good choice."

The salty addition turned her typical dinner into a delight and the hot elixir, as it slid down his throat, awakened something he'd forgotten about since his swim. He put the bowl to his lips and gently blew and sipped, too impatient for the much slower spoonfuls to reach his mouth. His belly hadn't been filled since yesterday. He was used to it, he told himself, but he knew he was lying. He gave her a surreptitious look. She hated when he stared. But she was his compass, his light, his everything during this troubling time. Sure, he knew that under different circumstances, they might not have ever spoken to each other. But it wasn't different circumstances. "It was what it was and it is what it is," as a sage used to say. That sage died in the street. Oi knew that wasn't going to be how he died.

When they were finished, Sahrn rinsed the dishes in the splashing waves as Oi pushed sand over the dying fire. Their time together was nearing another end. He always hated this part. He watched the celestial reflections over the water as the waves danced and dipped.

"Stop staring at me!"

"I wasn't staring at you, you big kuthal. I was staring at the water."

"Call me a kuthal, will you?" She took a ladle of water and threw it at him. Her father had been killed by a kuthal. The beast had found him hunting one evening. They'd both been hunting, him and the beast. But that night, it was the beast who dined well. Her family went hungry for a long time after that. Oi didn't know.

She put the dishes in the pot and Oi wrapped the towel around his shoulders. He wasn't cold, but wanted her to know he'd use the towel when he chose to. She allowed him to.

"What about tomorrow, Sahrn?"

"The warriors won't meet anymore. They're all a bunch of coos." She scowled as she thought of the fluffy, soft forest creatures. Their fur was so fuzzy and fine that if you closed your eyes, you weren't always sure when you were touching them until you hit their body. They were known for being easily tamed, back when one might have the interest of keeping pets. Now, they were simply a reference to be used tenderly or harshly, however the user saw fit.

"They'll meet. But they need to know there is hope."

"There's hope if we kill him."

"There's hope if we can get the warriors to rise up."

"They won't."

"They will. They just need hope."

"You're talking in circles, Oi."

He stumbled into silence. She was right. But he was sure he was as well. Hope breeds hope. Of course, the reverse is also true.

---

The packed earth beneath their feet signaled they were close to home. They didn't speak. They hadn't spoken since they'd left the water's edge. He knew there was only one way to kill the one who must be killed--get the warriors to rise up. But to get the warriors to rise up, they needed hope. To find hope in the hearts of the hopeless was a challenge he didn't want because of the dangers involved--both mental and physical. If he failed to find hope for the warriors, he'd lose hope himself and though not many things did, that truly frightened him. And whether he brought hope to the warriors or not, he could well lose his life in the process, or worse, lose Sahrn. His muscles tightened at the thought; he hoped it was too dark for her to see his tension.

"I'll see you when the southern wind begins to blow in the morning?" he asked.

"Not me, you won't. I have things to do that early--Namely sleep. I haven't had a good night's sleep in a long time and hope tonight's the night. And if not, well, I'm in no hurry to face another tomorrow. Tomorrow will be there when I get up."

She was right, but he knew he wouldn't sleep well. He never slept well. Perhaps he'd go for another swim before the sun came up and the winds began to blow. Or maybe he'd go to the port to see if there was any news from abroad, though there never was. But perhaps in the morning, this time there would be.

---

Oi opened his eyes. He could see nothing and blinked to ensure his eyes were truly open. It must be the darkest of the night, he thought to himself. This was to be the time of the most dangers, hacks and quims and all sorts of mythical creatures could reach you during this time. The only safety was supposed to be in sleep. If you were asleep, the hacks couldn't find you and the quims didn't want you because you weren't good sport...or was it the other way around? Childish concerns. There are real monsters out there, both man and beast. His empty stomach growled the low, long growl of a kuthal.

He rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. That's when the memory snuck in. The dream he'd just awakened from. It was a dream, right? Or was it his imagination? Or a fairy tale from long ago? No, he was certain it was a dream. There was a man, a very old man--hidden in a cave, perhaps? The man was the answer...or the man had the answer. He wasn't sure which. But he knew there was a key there somewhere. He tried to remember the dream more, but it eluded him like a mist. Eventually, he fell back into a deep, heavy sleep--sleep he'd been needing for a lifetime.

Oi started to wake, then realized there was light coming through his eye lids. His eyes popped open and he sat up, ready to face whomever had come into his room, torches blazing. But there was no one. It was the sun trailing in, making lazy pools of light on his ceiling and walls. He wasn't sure of the time, but Oi wasn't used to seeing the sun so bright in his room. He pulled back the window covering and looked outside. To his surprise, it was quite morning. Perhaps even Sarhn would be up.

His thoughts kept wandering to the old man. Perhaps he was a sage, able to provide profound advice, or maybe military knowledge for the warriors. He searched his memory for more. All he knew was he felt better when he thought of him. There was a peace about the man and that peace spread to Oi. He had had a similar dream a second time, but still, both dreams were elusive, ethereal. His brain searched every ridge and gorge of itself, looking for more, trying to touch the memories of this man, in hopes of pulling them out, forcing them to reveal themselves. There was nothing more.

---

Oi and Sahrn walked toward the port in silence. He'd wanted to talk to her about the old man, but he didn't know how. The old man was a dream, and even with that, not much of one. He was almost more...an impression. But he called to Oi. Oi knew he needed to find the old man, but he didn't know where to even begin. He kept his secret in silence, feeling guilty about holding something back from Sahrn, but it was nothing but a silly dream he'd had...twice.

When they reached the port, the southern wind was beginning to die. Most of the ships had left long ago, taking advantage of the daily boost the mornings offered to their journeys. Sahrn was pleased to look at the water and the few remaining ships moored. Oi was disappointed he'd missed the chance to speak with sailors. Perhaps they knew of an old man in a cave. They traveled to many places and heard many stories. Perhaps one of them had heard this story.

Sahrn sat at the end of the pier, staring out over the water. Oi imagined she was picturing herself in a distant land, lounging fireside, belly full, children playing at her feet. He threw a fishing line into the water. He knew he wouldn't catch anything, except perhaps seaweed. But his father had taught him that the only failure was not trying, so he tried. Oi wasn't sure he agreed with his father's outlook, but he also knew that not trying was failing. Only, his father seemed to think that trying was success. That's where their beliefs diverged. But catching some seaweed would be success, so he tried.

---

The sun high in the sky, Sahrn stretched. "Let's go, Oi. Nothing is biting except the flies."

He'd enjoyed his time on the pier with Sahrn. She'd laid out, chatted idly, snoozed, and generally made for a pleasant time. He'd almost lost his impression of the old man, but not quite. There was something in him that kept scratching at his memory, at his motivation. He couldn't take the nothingness anymore and agreed. "Let's go to the market."

"I hate going to the market with no money. It only makes me hungry and angry."

"I want to...uh...to try and find someone."

"At the market? Who?" She sat up and began to gather her items.

"An old man," he said tentatively. He knew if he told her the whole truth, she'd laugh at him.

"What old man?"

"Just some old man. Maybe he can help."

"Help with food?"

"Maybe," he lied.

---

The market was filled with the smell of spices, breads, and animal feces. Oi breathed deeply. If only I could fill my belly as easily as I can fill my nostrils, he thought. His stomach protested the emptiness loudly. He turned to the problem of Sahrn. He needed her to leave while he searched for information. The market was filled with traders and traders talked to many people. Someone had to know something.

"Sahrn, go find something for your birthday."

"You can't afford whatever I'd choose."

"Maybe not, but go. Search. Look in every stall and find the very best thing in the market. Perhaps, by the time your birthday comes, I can buy it for you. See what the best price you can get might be." He smiled encouragingly.

Sahrn snorted. "I'll find something, but you won't be able to afford it, even at the best price. Perhaps if I can find a kesa, you can use the amulet's magic to summon money to buy it for me." She giggled at her own joke.

"Perhaps." He let her laugh at his expense.

Sahrn wandered to the left, towards some brightly colored scarves. Oi went right. He saw a man, young and sociable, and approached.

"Hi. I'm looking for someone." He picked up a brass bowl and fingered it while he spoke. "Have you heard of an old man who lives in a cave?"

The trader, used to many strange requests for items, looked surprised. "An old man in a cave? Can't say I have."

Oi put the bowl down. "Thank you." He swallowed his disappointment. The old man probably didn't even exist. Oi began walking to the next stall. But if not trying was failing, he wasn't going to fail.

---

Oi awoke gently, peeking through his eye lids. The sun had not been up long, but let him know there wasn't more time for sleep. Just then, the memory popped his eyes fully open. The old man! Oi knew he had to find him. The old man surely lived in a cave. Oi saw inside the cave as plainly as he saw inside his sleeping room. There was a large flat rock where the man perched himself just inside the cave, but out of view of the light. There was a mountain. Oi knew the ocean was to the west. What he didn't know was west of where? Was it Oi's own country? Was it even on this landmass? Oi didn't know. But he knew he would set out to find the old man. Today.

---

Sahrn pleaded with him. "You don't even know where you are going!"

"Of course I do. I'm going east. I told you."

"To find a stranger. You don't even know where he lives!"

"I told you. I'll recognize it when I see it."

"This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous!"

"Say what you want. I'm going."

"Nahnah."

Oi turned to leave. Nahnah or not, he was going. He had to. But he wasn't angry. Of course she didn't understand. How could she? He didn't. He only knew that he had to find the old man. The sage was the key.

"You'll find nothing, you know!" she called after him. "Not even a kesa could give the warriors hope!"

He feared she was right. He hoped she was wrong. He set out to find out.

---

Oi awoke with a start. He felt the ground beneath him. He'd forgotten he'd left home. He had left Sahrn. He had left Sahrn angry. He was only sorry for that. But he had no choice. He couldn't take her. It was a foolish journey, when one put sense to it. It was dangerous and there was no path or destination, except a cave, which might not even exist. In the past, he'd wondered if he could ever leave her. Apparently, he could.

He'd come to expect the dreams now. He'd been gone only a couple of days, but the dreams came steadily, always only enough to show him the next step. There was a large, twisted tree. That was today's clue. And this time the old man wasn't so old. He had his back to Oi, but he was much younger, perhaps Oi's age. He was Oi's size, as well. He didn't understand, but all he felt was peace and a growing sense of hope within this man.

Oi finished kicking dirt over the fire that had kept him safe and warm throughout the night. The flames had kept the beasts at bay and when he'd awaken with a chill, he'd place more wood on the fire and quickly fall asleep again. Since the dreams had begun, Oi hadn't slept this well, perhaps in his entire life. The dreams nagged at him, pinching his sluggishness into action, dragging his exhaustion into motion. But when sleep came, the dreams wrapped around him like a cocoon, pulling him deeper than he'd ever slept before. He awoke refreshed, excited, and anxious for the search.

The memories of those passed became easier to bear. The loss of so much, his family, his childhood home, full meals every day, this didn't weigh on him like it had. He remembered the suffering of the people he saw daily. The beggars looked thinner each day. The thieves were ever more plentiful. But that bit of hope he'd been holding onto, that tiny grain had grown. It was now a full stalk and he felt as if it might flower any day now. He only had to find the old man. His hope was on the verge of blossoming and he knew he had to bring this back to the warriors. If they could feel what he felt, they would fight. Yes, many would die. But they would try and not fail. And by not failing, they would succeed.

Oi smiled as he carried his pack. It felt lighter each morning and not quite as heavy each evening as it had the night before. He thought he might even try to whistle while he walked. He'd never able to whistle and whenever Sahrn was around when he tried, she'd tease him without mercy.

He breathed in a deep, satisfying breath and tried to let out a controlled tweet through his pursed lips. Only the sound of lonely wind escaped his mouth, but he was pleased. He had time. This wind had howled a touch more than the past. He was getting closer.

---

Oi packed quickly this morning. He's seen the twisted tree on a high hill in the distance and he thought he could perhaps even make out a dark spot. Perhaps it was a cave. If it weren't for the dangers of walking at night, he would have made it by now. If he were more of a tole and not stopped for the night, he would now know if that was indeed a twisted tree and if that was truly a cave and if, inside, there was the old man he'd been searching for, yearning for...or was it now a young man who held the key?

He put aside his frustration and sought out the hope that was growing ever larger within his bosom. He remembered each dream as best he could and pieced together the next clue. This time there was no old man...or young man. But in their place, hidden from the light, sitting on the flat rock just inside the cave, there was a stone. It was a smooth stone, perfect for skipping across flat water. Perfect for carrying in one's pocket. Perfect for giving to one's girl. The stone made him happy in his dream, but in the light of morning, he was scared and confused. Where was the old man? Oi needed to speak with him. There had been a rumbling sound in his dream as well. But Oi recognized that sound. His stomach let out the low growls of a kuthal. But this beast wasn't so easily defeated. A swift, well-placed blade could beat a kuthal. But a snarling stomach could only be sated, never defeated. "Kos," he said aloud.

Oi set out for the tree, for the cave, in a different mood, but still eager to reach his objective. He only hoped that the objective was a wise old man who could tell him what to do, or perhaps at battle hardened leader who could command the warriors to victory. So long as the objective wasn't a small, simple stone. But he knew it wasn't. It couldn't be. It was something, someone with great power. Power to lure him, to guide him to this place. He didn't just stumble across it. He was pulled to it. And the closer he got, the more his hope grew. He wished the warriors, even just one, had been with him on this quest, that they, too could feel the hope he felt. He knew that if they could taste just a drop, they'd fight to the death to kill the one who must be killed. But Oi was alone.

---

Oi grappled with the earth. The mountain was much steeper than he'd realized. The beginning was difficult and it only got worse as each minute went by. His energy was drained. He rested more and more often. The cave, and indeed it was a cave, wasn't far above him. The simple problem was that it was above him, seemingly vertical. He stopped to rest again. He'd left his belongings at the base and checked them again. They didn't seem much smaller than the last time. Breathing heavily, he searched the horizon for a view, something to rest his pounding heart. The view was like nothing he'd ever seen. But then, Oi had never been this high before, either.

Oi had seen a path leading to the cave, a path that didn't look like too much of a struggle. But that path was from above and he hadn't the slightest idea how to reach it. Whomever used that path, appeared to do so often, but for Oi, his path was the path of most resistance.

As he began to turn back, something caught his eye. It was a figure--moving in his general direction. He couldn't see much of anything except that it was moving. A nomad, perhaps? He couldn't tell if it was either man or woman, or even kuthal. Was it another who had been drawn by the same set of dreams? Perhaps they could join forces to kill the one who must be killed. Or, was it someone else? Someone set on preventing his success. No. He was going to find whatever there was to find...if it hadn't been found by someone drawn before him.

Suddenly a fear gripped him. Could someone else have been lead here already? What if they had and whomever or whatever he was seeking was already gone? What if they had not used it to help the warriors rise up? What if it was lost forever? He pushed these thoughts out of his head. He was here to find hope for the warriors and that was what he was going to do. No matter what, he was returning with hope. He turned back to face the mountain. His stomach growled as he reached for the next handhold.

---

At least Oi was within reach. He pulled himself up and peeked over the edge, giving a surreptitious look into the cave. He wasn't sure what he was looking for. In his dreams, the old man, the young man, and the rock were all just out of sight of the entrance, hidden just beyond the light. The cave appeared to be empty.

With what felt like the last bit of energy to be had, Oi hoisted himself up onto the cave's ledge. He wanted to rest a moment so as not to sound too out of shape when he addressed whomever might be inside. And to take in the vista, as this was the highest he'd ever been...and check on the impending visitor. As he'd struggled up the mountain, they had gotten much closer. They were still out of good view, but were much closer. He turned back to his mission. An empty cave. But he reminded himself that whatever was inside was always out of view. He, or it, was still in there. They had to be.

He gathered his nerves, and his breath, and called out with a gentle confidence, "Hello?"

He paused. "Is anyone there?"

He paused again. He was glad Sahrn wasn't here to seem him. She'd have called him a coo and marched inside...or kept him from marching inside--one or the other.

"Kos." He breathed out slowly. A welcoming cool called him inside. Oi entered. There was that growl again.

---

Oi blinked. He was on his back, being dragged on something. He was confused. He moved to get up, but couldn't. He'd been strapped down like a prisoner. Everything hurt. Dear one, everything hurt like he'd been torn apart by a kuthal.

He mustered the most tole voice he could. "What's going on? Free me at once!"

He was instantly dropped on his back and he let out a very untole yelp.

"OI!"

"Sahrn?"

She crouched beside him. "I'm here!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I had a dream. I had a dream that I was to deliver hope to the warriors. But all I found was you."

"KOS! We have to go back! The old man! The warriors' leader!"

"We can't. You were nearly torn apart by a kuthal! I heard the growling echoing in the cave and your screams. I thought you were dead! You don't know what it took to get you down from there. You've been unconscious for several days. We're almost home now."

"Almost home? I must get up. I must walk home."

"I told them what you were doing, what I was doing."

"Them?"

"Home. The warriors."

"Why would you do that?" Alarm sounded in his voice. He was supposed to be bringing hope--they were supposed to be bringing hope. They had nothing.

Sahrn was unwrapping Oi. She'd tightly bound him to the sled she'd been pulling, so as not to lose her precious cargo. "I'm glad you can walk know. Kos, you're heavy!" She gave a chuckle, but it still sounded of concern. "I'm not the only one who has been having dreams. Others have as well."

"Others? What dreams? What others?"

"I've only heard rumors. I don't know who or what dreams, only that others have had them, too."

His hands free, that was the first time Oi noticed he was holding something. When she was concerned with packing away the bindings, Oi opened his hand. Inside was that small stone he'd seen on his last night of dreams. What was it? What did it mean? He slowly got up and began trying to walk as she dragged the sled with their gear behind her. He didn't notice to offer help. She wouldn't have taken it. Sometimes she was more of a tole than he was.

They walked in silence for a long time, save his occasional moan or grunt.

Eventually, she tentatively asked, "Did you find anything? You know, before?"

He was ashamed. He didn't even remember being inside the cave once he stepped out of the light. He didn't remember the attack. He didn't remember if there was anyone or anything in there, not even a kuthal. All he knew was that somehow a stone was in his hand, the same stone from his dream.

"I have this." He handed her the stone, embarrassed.

"The kesa stone," she whispered, reverence dripping. She held it in her hand like a communion wafer. "I'll guard it with my life," she vowed.

He opened his mouth to tell her not to bother, but stopped himself. He'd gone to seek hope. But this hope was a lie. He knew the stone wasn't a kesa, but how could he tell her? He'd almost died for a worthless rock.

"You almost died for this," she suddenly broke down. "My father died of a kuthal attack. I couldn't bear it if I lost you as well!"

Oi had never seen her like this. It unnerved him. He tried to hide his discomfort with another wince.

"When we get to town, we need to go to the warriors right away."

Oi balked at the idea. He didn't want to lie to the warriors, but he also didn't want them to know he'd failed. The city was abuzz with the dreams and Oi's quest. Everyone, it seemed, was discussing it, both good and bad. "I think I'll go to the port first. I'll meet you later." He wasn't sure why he was going to the port, only that he needed to.

Sahrn didn't argue. She knew what she had to do and she knew that he did as well.

---

Not all the warriors had believed it was a kesa stone. That is, not all believed until they found out Oi had died for it. Not only did he brave the kuthal for this kesa, but on his way to the port, he was attacked by those who supported the one who must be killed. They demanded to know what he'd returned with. Some had heard, or perhaps even dreamed, that it was a stone. They demanded to know. He denied having the stone and, of course, didn't let on that Sahrn was carrying the worthless rock. He tried to tell them he'd found nothing, that nothing was in the cave except a kuthal. They didn't believe him. Before he realized how far things had gone, he was run through with a tortuously wide blade.

His last word was a curse--Kos. Or was it the beginning of a word--Kes(a)? Word spread that he'd hidden the kesa from them and that when he died, the power of the kesa only grew. The warriors believed. The warriors had hope. The warriors fought. And the one who must be killed, was. Finally, peace crept upon the land like a kitten at play, with fits and starts, but it took hold and like the piercing teeth of a young kitten, it wouldn't let go.





kos--curse, nahnah--dummy, coo--cuddly forest creature, tole--man's man, kuthal--dangerous, ugly beast, hacks and quims--mythical creatures that hunt humans, kesa--magical object believed to hold great powers but it is unknown if they truly exist

Word Count: 4998