The Cat's Meow (Or Not)

Cat owners' lament: A Poem

Here's to you, my fuzzy friend
Whose furry slippers never send
A warning sound--you're too discreet
When you wind, slithering 'round my feet.

These visits could bring happiness
But there are moments, I confess,
I curse at you for what you do
Without a simple howdy mew.

How many times, I'd like to ask,
Have you selected as your task
Not visiting, but something sinister
(Not too unlike my evil sister) ?

I often turn to walk away
To find you dawdling, in my way.
I try to sidestep but alas,
You're everywhere--a blurry mass.

Oh how I hate that frantic dance
Forced on me by circumstance.
I sway and falter, lean and weave;
My fickle balance takes its leave.

A sad encounter it would be
Should I accidentally fall on thee.
So twisting, stretching, I endeavor
To circumvent you, but you're clever.

I finally take a step and find
I'm sprawling, bruised, on my behind.
And then you sit there, quietly purring,
Oblivious to what's occurring.

Now pussycat, I tell you true--
Next time I plan to fall on you.
So think about it, darling kitty;
Squished on the floor is not so pretty.