how I managed to get into recovery |
alcoholic liar drunk my guilty thoughts have been racing to force me to relive years of mistakes and hunting memories failed as a parent, lover, friend never living just surviving Deryck said it best "I'm all messed up Making perfect nonsense Drowning in my doubt too well" abuser manipulator user
missed school and soccer games hangovers so intense i might explode into nothingness whats a lie and guilt trip if i get what i want slut crazy drowning another notch on my bedpost why can't i stop? drinking, self-destruction, disparagement i want to stop I hate myself maybe they would be better of without me a stint in the clink mandated sobriety recovery the past is the past can't change that the future is another story strong mighty survivor i did the time paid the price learned to love me recovered who i am reclaimed my life healed my heart - mind - soul my guilty thoughts still race but now they mix with celebrations accomplishments beyond my dreams friends who love me Perfect attendance a happy blooming son
my guilty thoughts still race but now i can manage them quiet them, learn from them, let them go Never fully recovered But recovering Healthier Happier
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