HELP ME

Today I became almost submerged
In my own depression.
I am always so close to drowning
But never quite brave enough
To let myself go.
Hanging like a spectacle
On a bungee cord
For the whole world to see.
HELP ME! I scream.
“Take your meds” they respond.
And suddenly
I realize
I really am
Completely alone.
My whole body is against me
My brain is against me.
We are all trying to kill -
Me.
But none of us can.
I take my meds
Like a good girl.
I go to my full time job
like a good adult.
But I never feel alive.
I cry every night.
I am a disaster of a human being
That can never quite function
Properly.
SOMEONE HELP PLEASE
“Take your meds”
They always respond this way.
And I know the only way to survive is to be submissive
So I say
“Ok”
And suffer inside myself.