Nik 2

My mind was determined. My heart set in stone. Never would I have thought that I'd change my mind. I missed him... a lot. I missed me correcting his grammar, laughing with him, smiling by just thinking about him, but now i frown. I can't force a smile onto my lips while thinking of what I lost. I lost the only man who I know, due to experiencing sorrow with him, genuinely cares about who he loves. At least, that's what I used to think. Thanks to my tendency of stalking convos, I looked through logs. Not just any logs, but somewhere where he frequently talked. To think he moved on from me so quickly... barely even a few weeks. Maybe he found comfort in her? Or maybe... he didn't like me as he said he did. After all, he now has a girlfriend. I messaged him a few days ago. I said something easy to respond to, something that showed I cared, but didn't bring up the past. Did it work? Unfortunately, no. I wouldn't mind only being friends with him. Since I know he must truly love his girlfriend. I wanted to get the good old days back. Where I could just talk to him and feel 100% comfortable. He didn't respond to my message. Does he even miss me? Would he care if I were to suddenly dissapear? I hope he would care. Thing is, I know better than that. I probably put him through a lot by saying goodbye without actually saying my farewells. You, sir, are my first actual heart break. We never dated, but losing your friendship means much more than anything else I could ever possibly think of. Maybe one day, in the future, we could reconcile. And maybe, just maybe, we can become as close as we used to be. I love you, Nikki.