The Ultimate Lie

After my ex-wife told me it was over, I moved into my parent's house to wait out the storm. In my mind, I gave her a year...to sort out whatever was going on that required her to contemplate starting over again.

Knowing how difficult it would be financially, I supported her as best as possible. The fact we had twin girls, who back then were nine years old, convinced me that she would come to her senses, and if I played my cards right, our family would be whole again.

It's incredible how fast a year can pass. I did my best and helped her out with bills because she hadn't thought about how she would meet the ongoing costs of running a household. She had more than halved the household income, with very little change to her outgoings. So, I chipped in with certain things, such as half of the mortgage repayment...after all, it was still technically half my house.

One day during that year, I picked up the girls for my weekend with them and noticed the bald tires on her car. Pointing this out got a reasonably significant reaction, one to which I was to become accustomed. She told me she had no money and didn't live rent-free as I did.

I thought, "Whose fault is that." But instead said, "Do you want me to pay for your tyres, and you can pay me back once we get to the property settlement?"

I couldn't have my kids driven around in an unroadworthy vehicle by a frustrated single mother who had developed serious anger issues. Of course, she agreed. A few weeks later, more bills that she 'couldn't' make payment for...a car service and a visit to her dentist, all to be repaid once our house was sold.

Then one day, she called and asked if I wanted to come for dinner. We all ate together, and after dinner, I played with the girls. It felt good...really good. I even thought for a moment I might get asked to stay, but once the girls were tucked in for the night, she dropped the real reason I was there. She wanted to go to Germany for a holiday. That's where she was born and still has many relatives she had not seen since her family moved here when she was around seven. She would be gone for four weeks and asked if I would have the girls during this time.

Back then, I was working full-time and received four weeks of paid leave per year. I explained to Em that, for one, I was not willing to use my entire four weeks caring for children. At the same time, she spent that time enjoying a holiday of a lifetime, and besides, I didn't have enough room at my parent's house for the girls to stay so long, so I told her that it was not possible.

Anticipating this, she then played her trump card. "You can move back in with us if you agree, and we can be a family again."

Em knew how much I wanted my family back, but I had no idea just how much she wanted her trip to Germany.

Blinded by a desire to kiss my girls goodnight and read bedtime stories to them again as we had before all of this, I agreed and moved back into our family home.

The months passed, and in hindsight, I knew something wasn't right. Sex was almost non-existent; she avoided affection and did only enough to keep me there. Then, the time came, and she was gone. The girls and I planned our future together while she was away. We had a lovely time, and the part I will never regret.

Four weeks passed, and we went to the airport to pick her up. It was her birthday, we had presents, a birthday cake and everything seemed fine until the following day. We were in the kitchen having breakfast when she turned to me and said she wanted me out of her house. I will never forget the look on her face as she said it...pure hatred and contempt.

And even though in the back of my mind I knew this was going to happen, it still rocked me. I looked at my girls, and as the realisation of what was happening became apparent, I said to her, "Please don't do this." But she was not going to be swayed.

So, for the first time in my life, and much to my shame, I fell to my knees and begged her...not for me, but for my kids. But she had decided before she had even left for her trip. I had been set up. The worst part was, it wasn't just me to whom she had lied. It was our kids who had the most to lose, and she just didn't care.

I hated her for a long time after this. I tried to forgive her, but I cannot honestly say I ever did.

My biggest regret was that while she was overseas and we awaited her return, I would read to my girls from a book of bedtime stories each night before bed. On the day she told me to leave, the book remained unfinished, and we never got to finish it.

*******

When the house eventually sold, I reminded her of the money she owed, but no prizes for guessing I will never see any of it repaid.