Humbuggery

"Create a different holiday to be celebrated in December. Explain the purpose, traditions, etc.
Written for "The Whatever Contest." "The Whatever Contest -- Closed for Now" 

Word/Line Count: 309"

Humbuggery

After the disastrous year in 2020, the citizens of the united states of the North announced a new holiday observation for December 2021.

From now on the season beginning on December 14 until December 31 will be known as the Hunkering of Humbuggery. This observation is to commemorate the year of pandemic of 2020. No gifts are expected. No jolly holiday carols or frivolity is expected. As the light in the Northern realm is lacking at this time, all residents will be required to be in their homes at 4 PM each night. No one will be allowed on the streets from 4 PM til 6 AM.

School will be in session, but only online. All children will attend from their homes. Adults will still work, but only essential workers can leave their homes. Everyone must stay in their homes for the entire two week period. All must hunker in their bunkers, so to say.

The day before Humbuggery will be known as the Feast of the Tall Tree. A tall tree will be decorated in each town. This tree will be in memory of that obsolete holiday of Muchmass. For years people celebrated the idol of mass merchandising. But starting in 2021, that era is over.

A time of drinking and feasting will be expected on the Feast of the Tall Tree day. This also will be the day to stock up on food, drink, and firewood for the two week lockdown to come.

After the Feast of the Tall Tree, all will hunker in their bunkers for the two week period. School and work will take place from home. Only essential personnel, police and fire, are allowed on the streets. Hospitals will only attend those already in hospital. Emergencies will have to be attended to in people’s homes.

Truly this is the spirit of Humbuggery. Hoo Rah.