Fear

This is hard to describe. It comes from a phrase I heard. Don't be afraid.

What scares you the most?
Spiders?
Nightmares?
Heights?
Knives?
I dread,
no fear complete silence.
Not only on the outside of my head
but the inside of my head as well.
I get ready for bed and hear the
sound of the wind
blowing through the trees outside my home.
I hear the sound of the air conditioner
blowing the air through the vents.
I know exactly how far
the clock is from my pillow by its ticking.
Sometimes, when my head is
on my pillow at the right position,
I hear my heartbeat.
But one time the ringing in my ears
faded to absolute
silence.
I felt as if I had become a stone
that could not move,
could not sense,
or could not breathe.
My humanness was gone.
I was gone.
I do not remember when I started
to hear my heartbeat or
see light, again.
But I could breath and be me again.
I fear this alone.
So I will fill
my room with sounds in case I
might hear that silence again.