Blind Date (Cougar tf)

SUMMARY:

b}A young man is looking for a more frugal partner after his ex ran away with his savings, leaving him struggling to pay the bills. While perusing online dating sites he meets "Dakota", who more than fits the bill. However, she may not quite be human...
         




    Tyler fumbled nervously with his tie, pulling it way too tight for comfort around his pale neck. He looked at himself in the mirror, an awkward, messy individual looking back at him despite his repeated attempts at grooming. His ginger hair refused to stay down despite constant brushing and his muted blue dress shirt had faded and wrinkled from a lack of use. His face had chosen the perfect time to break out and of course he had to cut himself while shaving, leaving a nasty cut on his cheek. He knew why his hands were so shaky, though. After all, it is natural to be nervous on one of the biggest nights of his life. He picked up the bouquet of flowers he bought from Wal-Mart and went out to his 2012 Jeep Commander, fumbling all over the keys trying to open the door. He hoped this would not be a persistent issue.
         
    He had been out of the dating game for years after Delilah dumped him on their honeymoon to run off with their scuba instructor, taking his life savings with her. Like her biblical namesake, the vixen had lured him in with poisoned words and struck him while he was at his weakest. He still hadn’t opened the countless credit card bills she had left him with, the kitchen table having been repurposed into a landfill for the stacks of envelopes. Now, as he walked past the broken beer bottles and framed pictures of exes he’d never bothered to take down, he realized he was excited for the first time in years. He had a reason to hope.
       
  It had been on one of his many drinking crusades at a local Irish pub. He was ranting yet again about Delilah’s betrayal to the bartender, a kindly man in his thirties with slicked back hair and neatly trimmed goatee and mustache. His name was Shaun Bromley, a jovial elephant of a man who had been Tyler’s only friend who had stuck with him since the breakup. Many early mornings after the bar closed he had dragged a doped-out Tyler through the empty, dimly lit streets, wiping off the Budwiser stains with a cocktail napkin and making sure he safely stumbled up the final steps to his crappy apartment.
     
Now, as Tyler stained yet another “help wanted” page with tears and Jack Daniels, he had pulled out his phone and decided to do something about it. Browsing through Tinder, he finally found what they thought would be the solution to Tyler’s woes. “Dakota” was kind, enjoyed "rough and physical wrestling" which he assumed meant good in bed performance, and the best part, according to Tyler, stated that "she had no interest in clothes or shopping." Basically everything that Delilah wasn't. And to Tyler’s great surprise, she was willing to give him a chance. Shaun had managed to arrange a hot date at the zoo. If this didn't turn out to be some sort of prank or fake profile, Tyler’s gratitude would be immeasurable. Maybe this would be the thing that changed his life around for the better.

  Tyler grew more and more nervous as he pulled up to the back entrance of Wildworld zoological theme park, where Dakota told him to enter. The parking lot was empty as the park still had a couple days to opening, but Dakota had promised a pre-opening tour of the facility, much to Tyler's amusement. She worked with the breeding program there and thus acquired a couple of backstage passes so that Tyler could see the whole place.  The redness in his face betrayed both his nervousness and anticipation for the experience.

  He nervously checked himself one last time in the car mirror. After applying yet another dozen layers of hair gel, he finally accepted that his hair would never flatten and gingerly stepped out of his vehicle, grabbing the bouquet from the passenger seat. A couple spritzes of cheap cologne and he found himself making his way towards the place Dakota had told him to enter the park.

    The parking lot was separated from the main park by a thick enclave of colorful and exotic fauna that made it very difficult to find the hidden bamboo gate that marked a discreet service entrance into the property. Clearly this entrance was not meant to be stumbled upon by the average customer. “His phone’s GPS was quite clueless about the zoo’s layout, leaving Tyler to manually search for the hidden entrance. After half an hour of shivering, Tyler finally found the gate.”

           The gate, an orderly combination of bamboo logs and cold war-era security equipment, was slightly tilted open, inviting Tyler to enter. He felt a cold sense of unbelonging as he pushed his way past, the zoo dropping all pretense of natural scenery past the gate.  A gravel path bordering a concrete drainage ditch led to a no-frills concrete structure that looked more like a military bunker than an administration building. Multiple service vehicles decked out in WildWorld livery sat idle beside the building. A mural featuring a lively Serengeti scene was painted on one of the walls, the paint looking faded despite the building being recently constructed. The sign next to the door read in silver steel lettering, “Administration building 1B”. 
   
  Tyler frowned a bit, going over the instructions Shaun gave him in his head.  He didn’t mention anything once he got past the gate. Was this the building he was supposed to be at? Would someone meet him? Should he go inside? His heart started racing as the worst possible outcomes started playing in his mind. What if he wasn’t supposed to be here? Would he get arrested? Was this a prank? Sweat was pouring down his face despite the autumn chill. He flashed back to his childhood days, when his mother caught him stealing from the cookie jar and threatened to call the police on him. She never did, but he believed her every time. This time, however, was different. This time was real. He was just about to leave when a voice pierced the stillness.
     
         “Are you Tyler?” His heart leapt into his throat at the sound, and he quickly turned towards the source, face turning fire-engine red. The speaker had emerged from the administration building, a young woman decked out in the blue and khaki uniform of a zoo employee. She had frizzy brown hair and a nametag that read “Ash” in black lettering next to a cartoony picture of a leopard. She appeared to radiate positivity as she made her way to where Tyler was nervously fidgeting with his tie.

                 “Y-yes” he stammered weakly, his face flush with embarrassment. Ash seemed to not notice Tyler’s fidgeting, beaming like a high school gossip.
                   “You’re
here to see Dakota, right?” she winked like a grade schooler at the class couple. Tyler blushed as he shuffled back a few steps.

                     “Y-yes,” he responded, face growing redder by the second. He felt hotter than the giant fake volcano in the middle of the park. Ash brushed it by, however, giving him a quick glance-over.
                        
        “Oh my gosh you look awesome!” she squealed in a high-pitched voice. “Dakota’s going to love you!” Tyler wasn’t sure what to make of this woman’s unnatural levels of chutzpah as he looked around anxiously.

                         “Where is she?” he asked, bewildered. Wasn’t Dakota meeting him here personally?
                 
         “ Oh, she’s busy working on a rather urgent matter in the cougar enclosure, but she told me to fetch you and take you to her.” She began leading him down the gravel path past various maintenance sheds to where Tyler assumed was the big cats section. “She’s helping prepare the exhibit for our latest addition, a little fuzzball to “accompany” our female before the exhibit opens. It’s mating season for many animals you know, including humans.” She gave a sultry wink and a grin that sent a wave of embarassment rushing across Tyler’s body.  Tyler definitely didn’t want to think about sex on the first date, so he pushed the naughty images out of his mind and tried to change the subject. Ash was more than happy to oblige, steering the conversation towards the history and description of the park proper. It took fifteen minutes of walking and talking before they reached their destination, in which Ash got to learn all about Tyler’s difficulties in finding a partner, or at least one that wasn’t into him for the money.
             
             “ Oh no, Dakota’s not into that sort of thing at all!” She chuckled warmly as they arrived at an iron door marked “cougar” in bold black letters. “She’s much more “Au natural” if you get my drift! I think you’ll be perfect for her!” Her glowing praise for his date reassured Tyler significantly, although he was always a bit wary. At least he’d give her a try, what’s the worst that can happen?
                   
         Before he entered Ash gave him a vaccine which she said would protect the animals from any outside viruses that he might bring in, which made sense. Besides, it was only a little prick and sanitation was clearly a big issue here at WildWorld. He’d passed by at least twelve hand sanitizer dispensers already. As he prepared to enter Ash offered some final reassurance.

                        “You’ll do great, I promise! She’s a very lonely cat, and you’ll make a great fit for her!” Tyler was just starting to wonder what she meant by “cat” when the door suddenly closed, locking him in the exhibit. He dismissed it as simply mishearing what she said, and started searching the exhibit for where Dakota might be working. It was a massive reinterpretation of a mountain range in the southwestern United States, one of the natural habitats of mountain lions. Yet he saw nobody in the rocky enclosure from an initial visual sweep. Calling out her name yielded nothing either.
                 
           He was growing quite anxious, and it was starting to show in the itching warmth beginning to cover his entire body, particularly behind his ears. He scratched furiously as he called out once again, but nobody appeared to respond. He sighed, now craning his arm to scratch his back, his shirt already stained with sweat. There were lots of rocks in the enclosure where a puma (or human) could hide behind, so he was just going to have to search the whole exhibit for her. He groaned, he was not the most physically adept of people and combing through the enclosure would require an excessive amount of climbing, especially in dress clothes. He was about to begrudgingly begin his search when he detected a purring voice behind him.
                             
“Murr, you’re Tyler, yes?” He whipped around, unaware of his ears panning independently towards the source of the sound. To his surprise, there was a mountain lion standing right in front of him, head cocked to the side in curiosity. A quick scan of the surrounding area revealed no human in sight. His mind was split between confusion and abject terror as he stared at the beast in front of him. Cougars weren’t supposed to be this close to patrons, right?
                 
             He felt hotter than the sun itself as he staggered backwards, his left shoe flying off as he tripped over a rock, falling on his back with a thud. Dazed confusion plummeted into abject terror as he opened his eyes to reveal a tawny feline face staring back at him, paws as large as dinner plates deftly placed by his shoulders. Romance was the last thing on Tyler’s mind now as the cat’s amber eyes gazed into his soul, rendering him paralyzed underneath the large cat. Tyler clamped his eyes shut and prepared for the afterlife. “Maybe I’ll get to haunt Delilah and her douche boyfriend in whatever Hawaiian hole they’re hiding in”, was his last thought as he felt the sandpaper like tongue brush his skin.
                       Except he didn’t die. He spent several seconds waiting for the sharp pang of fangs piercing his jugular, but all he felt was the soft strokes of a rough tongue brushing the side of his face like an artist creating a masterpiece. It rather tickled and he couldn’t help but let out a childlike giggle as it caressed his face, oblivious to the first strands of tawny fur beginning to sprout on his sideburns. Finally the excessive licking ceased and he forced himself to open his eyes, wiping the saliva from his forehead. Was his hair always this long? Before he could address the sudden unibrow above his eyes, the cat, much to his surprise, spoke again. Or rather, let out the feline interpretation of a chortle.
                     
  “You’re really cute for a twoleg!” she chuffed chipperly, her beaming grin revealing the shiny, 8-inch- long choppers in her mouth. Tyler screamed at the sight of them, eyes bulging out like flying saucers. This caused the cat to laugh even harder, a sort of warped chuffing noise that made Tyler’s ears fold flat against his head in anguish. Wait, how did he know she was laughing? How did he even know the cougar was a she? How could they understand each other? Tyler’s mind was racing to answer the questions that popped into his head like a popcorn machine, but the cat seemed to know what he was thinking.
                         
“It’s ok,” she purred, her voice smoother than butter yet surprisingly gentle. “First timers are always confused when they first meet their partners. But you’ll get used to it! I bet you’ll have lots of f-“
                 
         “What the hell are you talking about?!” Tyler screamed, scrambling out from underneath her and rising to his feet. He brushed the accumulated dirt off of his shirt while scratching furiously at numerous places around his body. A neutral observer might assume he was inventing some new sort of dance move. One that involved hopping around a lot, flailing their limbs, and more cursing than a sailor convention. Throughout all this, however, the mountain lion remained still and watched him flail about amusedly. Finally she spoke up, stopping Tyler in his tracks.
                   
         “Haven’t you figured it out yet?” she murred playfully, flashing a sultry look at the disfigured human in front of her. The clueless stare she got in response told her the answer. She sighed. Sometimes twolegs can be downright thickheaded, especially the men. Oh well, that just made them even more adorable.
                   
    “ You silly goose, you’re going to be my mate. I’m Dakota!” She pawed him playfully, watching as he slowly pondered this information, a stupid blank stare on his face. Did she say “mate” or “date”? Was this some sort of prank? Despite the increasingly apparent coat of fur beginning to cover large areas of his body, he didn’t quite get the message. All he knew was that he was hot, miserable, and he was getting the heck out of here before he became the next feast for this weird talking mountain lion. He shakily stood up on wobbling feet, unknowingly leaving his socks and shoes behind as he staggered for the enclosure’s exit on digitrade, rapidly furring feet.
                     
         Tyler felt like a toaster on steroids, confused, and most of all, betrayed. He didn’t quite know what was going on, except that he was probably going to wind up on some prank tv show or Youtube channel to be laughed at by millions for his gullible hopelessness. The sharp, stinging pains coursing through his hands and feet seemed minimal to the pain inside his broken heart, that like a pane of glass in a heavy storm was shattered into millions of pieces when Delilah abandoned him in paradise on that hot steamy summer evening. He was broke, both in money and spirit, and had to fight back tears as he reached the chain fence door of the enclosure.
                     
         He reached out for the handle and tried to push it open. Surprisingly, his hand seemed to slip off the handle, fingers feeling like carboard.  Confused, he fumbled with the lock again and again, until he looked down in order to gauge the problem. The problem, apparently, was in the word hand, as what was attached to Tyler’s wrist was obviously not a hand. His heart plummeted into his stomach as his eyes beheld the short digits with leathery looking pads, draped in tawny brown hairs, or rather, fur. As he attempted to flex his thickening handpaws, hooked, wicked claws appeared, making him recoil in fear despite them protruding from his own hand. His thumbs on both hands had receded into his “paws” rendering them useless in terms of dexterity, but quite useful for clawing out the intestines of prey. They had swelled up to the size of a computer keyboard. Tyler jumped back upon noticing this, before doubling over in pain as more changes took hold.
                                 His neck and swelled and bulged against his tight blue dress shirt, choking him as his handpaws desperately fought to untangle the noose that his neckwear had become. Eventually he gave up on removing the tie intact and settled for shredding both it and his shirt to pieces with his newfound claws, revealing his budding white chest fur to the world. Gasping and wheezing, he fell onto his hands and knees as he sucked relieving air into his lungs. The release of pressure felt fantastic, but it did little to console the anxiety and fear racking his mind as he tried to comprehend what was happening. He gasped out a cry for help, but it came out as a weak, guttural sound that no human was capable of making. He felt so alone…

                                 “ It’s okay, I’m here for you…” her voice brought a newfound rage to Tyler’s rounded ears, she must be the source of this. He sprung to his feet, bones cracking and popping as he struggled to maintain balance.

                                   “Why would you do this to me?!” he cried out, mind whirling with pain, anger, and confusion. His muscles strained as they reconfigured to the lithe, powerful muscles of a predator. He struggled to stay upright, tears forming in his eyes.
                           
           “ You lied to my heart, made me believe I could love again, then lure me here and make me into… a monster!” he screamed, grabbing his arm as it twisted and jolted painfully into the front leg of a big cat. To his surprise “Dakota” simply rubbed up against him, filling his nostrils with her musk. It felt so wrong yet so good… Tyler just stood there silently as she brushed up her tail against his darkening nose, filling Tyler’s brain with a euphoria he didn’t know he had. It awakened a new part of his brain, one guided by new, primal instincts that enveloped his brain in a haze.

                                       “I never lied to you”, she purred as she walked to and fro around the changing man, brushing up against him again and again.

                                           “I never said I was human”, she chuffed in laughter. “ I said that I was not into fancy clothes or expensive jewelry, which we cougars have no need for. I think that’s something you’ll appreciate.” Tyler had to concede Dakota’s point, he knew she wouldn’t drain him of his life’s savings like Delilah did. After all, what need have cougars for clothing? Heck, what need did cougars have for money? Tyler slumped against the rock walls of the enclosure, pawing his growing muzzle while pondering his circumstances. Dakota padded up next to him, plopping on her haunches and looking up at Tyler expectedly. He looked around the wide, expansive exhibit, at the numerous rocks to hide in and the stream filled with crystal-clear water that gently ran through the whole enclosure. Here rent would be free, as well as a constant supply of free food. He wouldn’t have to worry about what sketchy motel in which crime-ridden neighborhood he’d be sleeping in every night, going to bed knowing that half your stuff might be gone the next day. He wouldn’t have to worry about bouncing from minimum wage job to minimum wage job just to afford a place to sleep and a meal every day. Most importantly, he wouldn’t have to worry about Delilah or any cash-grabbing girlfriends. And that didn’t seem like a bad deal at all. As he felt whiskers springing to life on his growing muzzle, he felt more at ease about his circumstances. He couldn’t help but notice how unnatural the split lip, fur covered muzzle, and steak knife teeth felt to his battered brain, and yet the instincts and urges he felt emerging in his mind felt as natural as can be. The simple desires of eating and sleeping mixed in with the raw emotions Tyler had felt, from despair to anger and finally a sense of hope, that things could be better despite them being worse.

               Despite Dakota’s urging, it still took several minutes of coaxing and biting to convince Tyler to ditch his pants and belt and finally plop down on all fours like a proper cougar. Once he did, however, his body adjusted to it naturally (albeit painfully) as his chest barreled out and his arms and legs cracked and reshaped into the powerful limbs of a mountain hunter. Dakota was there to ease him into every step, helping Tyler take his first few shaky steps on all fours. It was difficult getting balance at first.
         
“Why the heck can’t I do it right?” Tyler asked after attempting a jump and falling flat on his muzzle. Dakota grinned, rubbing her face against Tyler’s backside.

                   “That’s because you’re still missing an essential part of your new self”, she purred as Tyler began to face a strange tugging at his backside. He whipped his head around furiously as he tried to get a good view of a new limb growing out just above his rump. He could feel the growing weight of it as he felt the new appendage thumping first against his back legs, then the ground itself. Soon his new thickly furred tail was swishing from side to side as Tyler tried to get a grip on his new appendage with a childlike fascination.

                   “ Why can’t I control the thing?” Tyler shouted as his tail twitched and moved as he ran around trying to get a good look at it. His feline face had a look of curiosity and confusion about it as his tail automatically reacted to Tyler’s movements, balancing the new cougar as he leapt effortlessly onto a high rock.  Dakota laughed at his confusion; she had been the same way when she volunteered for the breeding program here at Wildworld. Watching Tyler race around the exhibit like a Mexican jumping bean on steroids, she knew he’d feel the same way. That was why she had selected him to be her mate and companion. A mischievous smile formed on her lips as she let out a low purr. Now it was time to show him what she’d meant by “rough and physical wrestling”.          
                   
      Ash stood by the railing watching the two cougars begin to wrestle feverishly in their enclosure and smiled to herself. She just loved it when the new additions mesh so well with the program. She deftly pulled out her Iphone and unlocked the screen, revealing an image of Dakota’s tinder profile. She pressed a button and a message appeared on the screen.

                     D E L E T E      P R O F I L E

                             Yes                  No   
   
Chuckling softly to herself, she tapped “yes” and smiled as “Dakota” disappeared from existence. She would never be needed again.