Alfonzo and Bonzo the Talking Dog

'Good morning, I'm here for an audition with Duane Skinfirth.'

'You're, uh, Alfonzo and Bonzo?'

'Alfonzo and Bonzo the Talking Dog.'

'Yeah. Right. Take a seat. I'll just let him know you're here.'

'Arr-roof.'

'Quiet, Bonzo. She has to be aloof, it's her job.'

'Mr Skinfirth will see you now. Go on through. And don't let your mutt pee on the furniture.'

'Grr off!'

'Bonzo! Watch your language! Sorry miss. Shall I knock?'

'Go straight in. He's waiting.'

'Good morning Mr Skinfirth. I am Alfonzo and this is Bonzo, the Talking Dog.'

'Get on with it. I don't have all week.'

'Ok. We haven't got the act quite worked out yet, I was hoping that you could give us some pointers...'

'Pointers? Ha! Looks like a mongrel to me. Don't let it poodle on the floor.'

'Arf arf arf.'

'Yes, Bonzo. I saw what you did there, Mr Skinfirth.'

'Yeah. It's laugh is a bit husky, Get on with it. It's nearly lunchtime and I want my chow. Hrumph.'

'Arf. Arf. Arf. Arf.'

'Settle down Bonzo. Now. How are you feeling today?'

'Ruff.'

'That's because you fell off a wall yesterday.'

'Wroof.'

'Sorry. The roof. Landing under the horse's foot didn't help.'

'Hhoof.'

'Enough already. Close the door on your way out.'

'Come Bonzo. We will repair to the park. You are missing the act of the century, Mr Skinflint.'

'Grr-off. Arf. Arf. Arf.'

'Before you go off to do your business, Bonzo, we need to think about the way you present yourself.'

'Why? Did I bark something wrong?'

259 words.