My go to song when nothing seems to be going right |
Stand by Rascal Flatts I have many songs on a list that I call my "Pick Me Up" list. Stand, however, became my theme song the first time I heard it. It describes me to a T. Just the first line, "a candle in a hurricane" was how I felt for a long time. I have what they call Borderline Personality Disorder. It took more than 20 years to finally get to that diagnosis. Before that I was an emotional, mental mess. I had 13 diagnoses before Borderline. I was put on different medications for each diagnosis. Sometimes my candle was blown completely out. Most of the time it was a struggle to stay lit. A lot of times I just wanted to be snuffed out and not come back. "A picture with a broken frame" was my family life. To say it was dysfunctional was an understatement. Everybody wanted things to perfectly go their way, including me. There were no compromises. Believe me, it doesn't work that way. "A novel with the end ripped out" is of course my writing life. The ending hasn't even been written yet. I am still looking for that elusive story; the one that is going to send my career into orbit. (Okay, so realistically that may not happen, but everybody can dream.) "Every time you get up and get back in the race just one more small piece of you seems to fall into place" sums up what the whole song means.... If you look back at how many times you have gotten up, you can see how far you have come and have the courage to do it again. I hope that everyone can learn how to Stand..... over and over and over again. |