the Old One offers reasons for some of his past decisions |
Chapter Thirty-Nine Perceptions 500 Cycles A.E. Changing the subject abruptly, the Old One began Enough talk of that place and who was sent there. That is not the point of today's lecture. As I stated, your powers have changed and will continue to change as long as you are open to the essence and Collective. I am still experiencing changes in my abilities. If you are of an open mind, your changes could continue to grow. When I was Young One, I knew my path. Oh, not because of the color of my crystal skin, but because I was very open to my essence and Collective. I let them guide me forward. I was in constant flux about becoming the Supreme High One, even though I did not know where the changes were leading me. As an older Young One, I had the abilities of an Elder but did not feel I was done yet growing. By the time I entered adulthood, I knew instinctively I would be the Supreme High One. If I would have stopped myself from growing, the Elders would have used me as their puppet. Wow, you have been through a lot, haven't you? Were all your endeavors successful? I bet they were, or you wouldn't have become the Supreme High One, stated Jaz. No, I had many failures. But that didn't stop me because I learned from my mistakes so I would not repeat them. I became more patient with myself: not being too rash to join in or making too quick of judgments when I was conflicted with thoughts. You had failures? Didn't the Elders or others hold them against you? They tried. However, because I was very comfortable with my learning process and became more intuned with my inner self, they could not break me. I am about the greater good of our society and the individuals therein. Some Elders and Hydranousians were concerned about what they can get for nothing or, in the case of the Elders, how they can manipulate others to do their will. Why don't you eliminate those Elders if you know what they are doing? I can keep track of them where they are. Some of the Elders were placed there because they were honorable and just. Others were placed so I would have easy access to their thoughts and actions. Remember the story of Elder Scrbeaul? That was a true encounter with one of my past Elders. I knew of his ways before becoming an Elder. I placed him there because of his abusive nature. As the story stated, something had happened to him in his early life to shape him the way he was. If I may ask, what could have possibly been so bad it turned him into a cruel person? Knowledge is the way to enlightenment, Young One. Never forget that. Before Scrbeaul became an Elder, he was a local High One. Someone who simply was sought after for advice. He did not possess any elevated powers, though he thought he should have. He felt forced into the role and resented all contact with others, especially those who were joined. Before that, he had attempted many professions, all of which he resented because he thought it was beneath him. When he was a Young One, he was small, smaller than the other Young Ones. He felt he was constantly picked on or abused. In reality, it was only his perception of what occurred. However, his beliefs were his reality. He had a very good tutor except she failed to help him overcome his faulty perceptions. So because of his perceptions of himself, he became a resentful Elder? Not yet. His path toward his future began right before he became an adult. While being tutored, he was attracted to a female pupil, Mellainy, a neighboring Old One who had been tutoring. Scrbeaul felt he was destined to become Mellainys's companion to the point he obsessed with her constantly. His final studies suffered dramatically. His tutor realized this but felt certain he was ready to merge into adulthood regardless of not completing his full tutelage. Meanwhile, the young female pupil was ahead of track for her transition to being an adult. Her tutor had seen her develop into a bright, confident, and focused Young One. She had made plans on what she wanted to accomplish with her final goal of being a tutor herself. She knew of Scrbeaul and his infatuation with her. She did not share the same feelings. He was not interested in becoming greater than himself for he thought he was already above others. The day before their final session with their tutors, Scrbeaul approached Mellainy with the intent of becoming companions. He was sure it would happen because he felt superior to Mellainy. Why wouldn't she want to be his companion? When he first approached her, he claimed they were destined to be together. Mellainy advised him that her plans did not include a companion in this part of her development. He did not listen to her and pushed his opinion onto her. She again refused, advising him she did not share the same thoughts. Why did he keep pushing her when she was not interested in him? questioned Jaz. Because he only cared about his feelings and interests. He was not listening to what Mellainy was telling him nor was he interested in her wants. What did she do? When he couldn't get her to agree to be a companion, he decided to try and influence her mind. He blatantly reached out into her mind and began looking for ways to make her agree with him, even if that meant planting thoughts. She was ready for just that attack. Her tutor showed her how to repel intruders. She had placed her barriers and focused on his mind while he was busy with hers. She was taught to send a shock wave type of attack. This disabled their use of the Collective for a short while and caused physical pain. She didn't want to use this, but he gave her no choice. She released the wave. The effect was swift and painful. Scrbeaul was brought to his knees hold his head and cried out loud. He has never received a rebuke before. He was defenseless to even stop it because he didn't know what it was as his tutor did not teach him this. Mellainy then stated out loud, This is what will happen if you ever touch my mind uninvited. I would never become your companion. You have made me loathe the sight of you and your touch is repulsive. You will never find anyone who will want you as a companion. You are selfish, rude, self-centered, and unworthy of anything good. You will tarnish all you come in contact with. Mellainy promptly left him in pain, unable to contact the Collective, and speechless. Jaz observed it appears he got what he deserved. Wait, is this the person in the story you told me about the Elder who broke his foot? Is this what the Healer saw? The same. He became even more bitter at the rejection and her words. Even though it was an unconscious decision, he became what he was. He, too, loathed himself to the point he had to treat everyone with disrespect and contempt because that is all he knew. Yes, the Healer saw this and felt pity he had never known true happiness. I don't know if I feel sorry for him or pity for the way he was. Is he still an Elder? Jaz asked. No, sadly, he was so miserable he fell into a deep depression and self-terminated. He is now One with the Planet. I didn't know that. I guess I do feel sorry for him. Enough of this talk. Let us continue our journey. We will soon be there. When they arrived at the Old One's cave, he saw the vines were denser than he remembered and the pool of liquid eternite's depth had increased. They approached the opening behind the falling liquid eternite to enter the cave. It was as he left it. Jaz was excited to be at their destination and immediately went into the pool of liquid eternite to replenish her essence. The Old One soon joined her. Neither spoke as they were monitoring their essence. The Old One took this opportunity to assess Jaz's journey to becoming an Adult. He remembered when he found her. She was scared, lonely, and afraid. Now, she has made friends along her journey, is confident in herself and her powers, and is eager to continue learning. She has even surpassed the Old One's expectations. She will make an excellent Elder in a few years, even though she lacks the age. Old One, why are you smiling? Did you think of something humorous? I was thinking of your progress so far. You have come a long way from being the shy and inexperienced Young One I found. I owe it to your teachings and my experiences with you. No, I only opened the doorway for you. You did all the work and took advantage of the opportunities when they appeared. I look forward to watching you complete the journey. How much longer will that be? I am eager to explore the planet and my inner self, she then thought for a moment before beginning again, I wish to see the people with my own eyes. Experience all the new and exciting possibilities my life has to offer. There is a mystery I wish to solve from my past. I want to be a positive force. Well said. Soon I will be entering into meditation. I will be unavailable during that time and my attention will be elsewhere. Do not attempt to contact me because my barriers will be at their peak and my defenses will react to all disturbances. If it is a dire emergency, send a message, but do not follow it. Once I sense the message, I will attempt to respond. Do you have any questions? Is where you are going dangerous? Do you need me to provide the essence to assist you? No. Doing so could endanger you as well. I will be fine. This is not new to me. With that, he sat back and began the process of contacting the Collective and building his barriers. Once completed, he began to stretch his essence out to the Emptiness, the Place of Quiet. Because he has done this several times, he knew what to expect and when to halt. He began expanding his essence to the place the color of One with the Planet. He immediately located what he had been searching for. The place with the impossible hole. As he looked, he began to slowly extend his awareness toward the hole, stopping frequently to see if the hole would react to his presence. When he was at his usual stopping place, he noticed the hole was smaller to the point it was only half the size it was previously. He decided he would take a closer look. He began once again to extend his awareness further than it had been. When he stopped, he saw there were more dots. He guessed he was seeing more because the hole was shrinking. However, there were no dots directly on the rim of the hole. He still wondered why. As he stared at the hole, he began to notice the hole getting smaller and smaller. He was fascinated by this occurrence. The shrinkage ceased after losing half its mass. He then felt a familiar but highly disturbing wave hit him. The Old One immediately withdrew his essence and awareness from the Emptiness, the Place of Quiet. He became aware of his surroundings and then returned to awareness. He looked around to see if anything had changed. He didn't notice anything amiss. The cave was the same, no dust or debris was noticed, and the vines were still there as well as the liquid eternite. All was as he left it. As he got out, he suddenly remembered the Young One. 2028 Words |