How To Get There from Here

A hillbilly was sitting on a fence, next to a dirt road -
Minding his own business.
Chewing on a stalk of grass and
Thinking about things hillbillies think of.

Along came a car - fancy by looks of it;
Slowing down, the car pulled over.
The window slid down, and the driver
Stuck his head out to talk to the hillbilly.

The conversation went something like this:

"Excuse me, can you help me?"
"What'cha need?"
"I'm lost and I'm looking for the Interstate."
"Yeah, I can tell you how to get back there."

"Mind if I ask how you got so lost?"
"My GPS quit working after I got off the Interstate for gas."
"Why don't you have a map?"
"That's what a GPS is for - so I don't need a map"

The hillbilly thought about that for a minute,
Chewing on his grass.
"Seems to me that you shoulda had a map, but
I can give you directions if you like."

"You need to turn around and go back to the oak tree
Swing around and follow the cornfield til you come to
A paved road. Cross it, and go about 10 miles
Then you should see the Interstate."

A look of confusion crossed the driver's face.
"Are you sure?"
The hillbilly looked down at the driver and smiled.
"Well, I ain't the one who's lost."

**No offense meant to anyone who identifies as a hillbilly.

Word Count - 214
Line Count - 29


Writer's Cramp for 5/2/23 ▼

Write a story or poem inspired by this prompt:

*Exclaimp* Give Someone Directions
Here's the catch, don't use words like left, right, north, south, east, west.
Be creative and make us laugh!

*Exclaimp* One of your genres must be TRAVEL & COMEDY