The Inspiration of a Lifetime

If you can't see anything that gives you a glimmer of hope, then you aren't looking hard enough.

Every positive has a negative attached...and visa versa. I'm not trying to minimise your, or anyone else's situation, I'm trying to point out something other than gloom and doom.

What we humans tend to do is only see the bad when bad things happen, and good when things are good. But in reality, it's never like this. There will always be some good and some bad to do with any situation.

For ten years, I was my mother's caregiver. When I took on the responsibility, I had no idea what that would mean and the sacrifice I and all full-time caregivers make for another human being. She brought me into the world and took on the same responsibility for me, and so, I thought it was the least I could do for her.

In January 2023, she became ill and was diagnosed with advanced heart disease. Her kidneys were also not functioning well and she was given one year to live. I had no choice but to place her in a nursing home. These events have affected me more than it appears to have affected her. Of course, I'm not the one living under a death sentence, but she has made peace with it and is making the most of her last months.

When the doctor told us about her prognosis, I saw something in her eyes that I didn't expect. It wasn't fear as I thought it might be, but something only a person who has just been told they are dying could possibly understand.

Her choice...the determination and commitment to LIVE the last months of life and not just die a little more every day.

She has lived with arthritic pain for a very long time and has previously spoken about euthanasia as an option. That all changed the day her choice was taken away.

I imagine life is something we all take for granted, but once we are told of our own impending death, everything we thought before would change, and our survival mode would kick in. That is what I saw happen right before my eyes.

I am so proud of her and truly blessed that I was fortunate enough to have spent the time with her that I have. And, as it so often does, life showed me that the sacrifice I thought I had made, wasn't a sacrifice at all, but an opportunity. To have spent the time with her; to experience the love and the bond we have is something I will NEVER forget or regret.

If you are having a bad day, a bad week or whatever, you can choose to look at your situation one way, or in another completely different way. But, no matter what you choose, you STILL have to travel to the end of this journey we are all on, and choosing to focus on the negatives...what you don't have instead of what you do, makes absolutely no sense to me. What about you?

Life may be getting you down, but realising there is a good chance things will turn around, and at some point, things will improve, is, in my opinion, a much wiser and better way to look at things. So, why not look for the positives among the negatives? Because they are there, you just have to be open enough and actually WANT to see them.

My mum, over the last fifty-eight years, has taught me so much. But I think the lesson I will hold closest to my heart is not to dwell on things I have no control over and to live every day like it is my last because one day that will be true; instead of dying just a little bit every day.