A Million Dreams

“Commander, we have a problem with propellant tank two.” The voice into the Mars Destiny capsule was from Houston. “From here it looks like the tank is nearly empty, but that could be a gauge issue. We will be separating from stage two shortly, but we do not, repeat, do not want to fire up the Merlin vacuum engine right now.”

“Copy that, Houston. We will not for up the Merlin," I replied.

I turned to my right to see Brian Callum, my second in command. He shook his head slightly.

“We need to override the auto fire up starting at step 145.44.”

“Copy that. Step 145.44.” The data appeared on the screen suspended before me.

There were twenty-six crew members aboard our flight. We were the first of four human flights to Mars. If our propellant had leaked out of tank two, there would not be enough fuel to get us there. If there was propellant and it was a gauge issue, there could still be hope. But there could be a rupture in the second fuel tank. How could we verify the gauge or rupture issue while flying through space? The scenarios cycled through my head.

We went through the detailed steps to deal with our fuel issue.

We manually lit the Merlin engine off tank one and without automatically flipping to tank two after one was depleted.

“This is when you need to go knock on the tank and see if it is full,” said Brian. He motioned a knock in the air with his black gloved hand.

“I think we need a backup fuel gauge,” said Anita Lundry, our flight engineer. She brought up the Merlin and its fuel data onto her screen.

“It was probably a $20 part.” Brian added.

“Destiny, we are working on all the scenarios right now. We should have an answer shortly.”

“Copy that.” I wanted to get to Mars, but this was not how I dreamed it would pan out.

I could hear a faint chatter from behind us off mic. Twenty-two crew members were just as concerned as we were. I let the chatter continue and looked at the display showing all the system info aboard our vessel. Everything looked good except the most important part: fuel.

Destiny was designed to make the 120-day trip to Mars and land on the surface. There were many unmanned flights that had preceded us. Our supplies and habitats were waiting for us to arrive.

I could not help but think the longer they took to decide, the further we were from home given we were traveling nearly 20,000 mph, thanks to the vacuum of space.

I was hoping to be out of my seat by now and floating around, but we were still in crisis mode and all hands were required. I wanted to be weightless and looking back at Earth.

“Destiny, we have come up with what we believe would be best option. You will return to Earth. I am sorry, Commander.”

I looked down at my gloved hands. Hands that no longer controlled this vessel on the way to Mars.

I had spent the last nearly thirty years of my life dreaming of this mission. Dreaming of being an astronaut. Dreaming of being a doctor. Dreaming of Mars. Dreaming of weightlessness. Dreaming of commanding this rocket ship through space. And Brian was probably right, it would come down to a $20 part that derails my destiny. It was possible that I could get back in the list of potential crew for an upcoming mission, but most of those positions had already been filled.

‘Cause every night I lie in bed
The brightest colours fill my head
A million dreams are keeping me awake

The song A Million Dreams was our crew theme song. It took a million dreams to get this mission underway.

I think of what the world could be
A vision of the one I see
A million dreams is all it’s gonna take
Oh a million dreams for the world we’re gonna make.

I could hear the young lad singing, and the tears welled in my eyes. My lips quivered. I swallowed to get it under control. I kept looking forward so that no one could see me closely.

Not only were my dreams dashed but those of the rest of the crew. Who knew if any of us would make this voyage in the future.

“Commander, in preparation for your return, we will be starting at step 12333.”

“Copy that, step 12333.”

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Word count: 756

Prompt: ▼

Quote Prompt for June 2023:

"A million dreams are keeping me awake."
-- Pasek & Paul, from The Greatest Showman, A Million Dreams