The Writer's Cramp 6/24/23 W/C 546 |
“Get your waders on! Man the oars matey!” This giant green being with wings to match roared orders at me. I jumped out of bed. “What and who are you? And why are you in my bedroom?” “Pish posh, get a move on, human. Didn’t you ask for rain?” He bellowed as the dog slunk under my bed. “I am the rain fairy. You can call me H Two Oh.” “No way. That cannot be right. H Two Oh?” I stifled a laugh. “Double Oh 7 was taken, okay? Get a move on. This is a big one. Radar doesn’t look so good. Do you have a boat? Noah had a big one. I hope you have one, because you’re going to need it. Your wish for rain has been answered, mister. I don’t want no complaining when your bed goes to floating, hear me?” Giant green fairy paced in the room as I got dressed. “Chop, chop! WHAT is taking you so long?” My shoes on, my pants on, my shirt on, I stood and the rain fairy grabbed my arm as we flew out of my bedroom and my home. Dog flew behind us as I held onto his leash. He wasn’t kidding about the rain. It was raining like crazy. We flew through the storm, but didn’t get wet. Soon an island appeared. Dog and I landed with a splat on a sandy beach. Giant green fairy hovered over us. “Now you two are safe from that flood that is happening. Everything you need is here on this island. All you have to do is ask.” I glanced about. The island seemed kind of barren. “What about shelter?” “What kind of house do you want?” “Oh I don’t know, something nice enough for dog and I. Nothing fancy.” Giant green fairy thought for a moment. Then a small cottage appeared near the beach. “Will this do for a human and his furry companion?” “Yes, and food?” “Fish in the sea, fruit on the trees, water in the river.” Giant green fairy indicated all this with his arms. “I think you can manage.” “But, you took me away from my life, my friends. What will I do now?” Giant green fairy again waved his giant arms and a beautiful woman appeared. She carried an armload of books. “Choose one. The being carrying the ideas, or the ideas.” “Listen here, H Two Oh, or whatever you want to call yourself, I cannot choose between a woman or books. That is unfair.” “Okay, as you wish.” The woman disappeared, as did the books. “Now I will leave you two alone. Good luck.” So that is why dog and I have been marooned on this deserted island for a few years now. We have food, water, and shelter. Every now and then H Two Oh appears with another plan. But each time, it is an impossible choice. We’re fine. It never rains here. The sun always shines. But I fear dog is tired of my stories. Every time I start to tell him a new one, he tells me he’s heard it before. We argue a bit about the plot and characters. He is actually a pretty decent critic. I’ll give credit to him in my book. W/C 546 |