Flight of the Dairy Queens

Flight of the Dairy Queens

23 cows are missing,
the rustlers have paid us a visit.
Our boss is stamping and hissing,
he’s yelling of vengeance illicit.

Unless someone left the gate open
and our ladies all went for a walk?
We’ll find them quite soon we are hopin’
as our searchers have eyes like a hawk’s.

There’s a lady who called us from Brighton,
found a herd of cows in her garden;
she’s so scared that she left the light on
and wants us to beg her for pardon.

But Frank has been with the trailer
and found that the cows number two.
He’s having to use his inhaler -
they’re not ours, they’ve escaped from a zoo.

There’s a rumour come in from Bristol
of stampedes over the border.
Old Barney is taking a whistle,
he says it will bring them to order.

He’s phoned and delivered the news,
our girls have long since departed.
We fear that he’s hitting the booze,
the feller is quite broken-hearted.

There’s a gentleman down in Dover
who claims our cows have arrived
in the field where he grows all his clover;
they’re demanding he supply them with chives.

Some say that they’ve landed in France -
without passports that seems unlikely,
and I really don’t fancy the dance
I’d have to get them to Blighty.

No, I think I’m going to wait here.
goodbye to this chase I am kissing.
Cows always come home, I hear,
23 cows are missing.


Line count: 36
Rhymed abab
For The Writer’s Cramp, 09.03.23
Prompt: 23 cows are missing.