Sam Adams Hates Christmas

Sam Adams Hates Christmas

36 Lines

Sam Adams was 80 years old
A hermit, a real curmudgeon.

Living by himself in an ancient, crumbling mansion.
In Klamath Falls, Oregon.
A “nothingburger,” forgotten backwater of a town,
“fly over town” Eastern Oregon town that had seen better days.

He was often very angry,
Lots of things pissed him off.
He did not like Christmas
“Bah humbug “, he said.

He looked at the giant clock - 7 pm.
Then he heard them.

People gathering around
To sing Christmas carols.

He hated the custom
Of everyone singing
Christmas carols.
While walking, in the shifting snow.

He went outside with his gun
Shot it in the air. Scared them off,
And went inside, and had another lonely drink.

His neighbor, the vivacious Maria Lee,
His only friend in the world,
Came over the next day.

“Sam,
Why are you so mean
To everyone?”

Sam had no answer
Just smiled at her,
And offered her coffee

Part of his morning routine.
The only reason not to die.
He left her two million dollars in his will.

inspired by the movie Otto

Include the following words.


very angry

giant clock

sifting snow

everyone singing