7 April 2024, the journey continues

6 April 2024

Restaurant was very spacious, bright and clean. Employees were all nice and friendly. Great teamwork. No issues with service... but your coffee is awful. It doesn't even taste like coffee. I like my coffee with cream, no sugar. The coffee you serve tastes like hot water with perhaps a splash or a drop of real coffee flavor. It tastes more like hot water with a bit of cream. You charge $3.69 for a large coffee. Starbucks price is almost identical to that and it has a strong flavor and tastes really good. Heck, 7-11 has stronger coffee for the same price and you get way better deals there.

I rate Dunkin Donuts coffee to be equivalent to Tim Hortons in Canada. I will not return to a Dunkin Donuts for coffee anytime soon unless there is no other option—which is incredibly unlikely in New York. Tons of delis serve coffee and theg are literally everywhere here❤️. Also, I am not a fan of Donuts and pastries so I have no reason to even go into another Dunkin location.

Furthermore, the first Dunkin Donuts I went into upon arriving in New York (somewhere in Manhattan) had a snarky little lady at the counter who informed me, after I had purchased a coffee and drank it in store, that she would not let me use the bathroom... after all, why should the employees have to clean the bathroom? Guess she thinks that's for too beneath her to do such a thing... and I'm sure she thinks she should be paid far more if she should have to clean toilets after all the "disgusting" public people use the facilities—even those who legitimately buy stuff from their "fine and upstanding establishment".

I have cleaned bathrooms at every job I have ever had, including Starbucks, which has public washrooms and the pay/benefits is equivalent. I have nothing good to say about my Dunkin Donuts experience beyond it looks nice on the surface... but that’s about it. Much like the B-DIE religion of diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging. It's all a farce.

7 April 2024
One thing I am certain about living in New York City is that I definitely don't want to reside anywhere in Manhattan (a lot of it is way too expensive and "touristy") or around the Central Brooklyn Library (way too "polished" and "sterile". No interesting stuff to explore like artwork/graffiti. Just boring blank walls and manicured gardens, etc.) I like Brooklyn. I like the area around the Cypress Hills, Bushwick, Bedford-Stuyvesant, East New York, and Brownsville. The Bronx would be a dope place to live too, though I haven't explored it as much as Brooklyn, there's definitely a lot of beautiful spaces and the people and vibe there is definitely awesome. ❤️
Edit: I do actually like parts of Manhattan: Little Dominican Republic/Washington Heights—the area around the Washington Bridge is nice, and Harlem is super cool. I like the atmosphere, and the people in/around those areas are friendly and down to earth. Also, there's lots of little variety shops & street vendors who sell fruit, veggies, and even clothes/shoes for very affordable prices. I like supporting those businesses. (Sorry, but I am still a Starbucks snob, lol! I haven't found any where else that brews strong coffee & Americanos other than the Lincoln Cafe.)
I really like Chinatown and the Lower East Side area as well. Reminds me a lot of the areas I lived in East Vancouver, BC. I loved wandering all over there and there were so many awesome local stores and shops with people I really miss talking to and stuff. There was also an area of Queens I was wandering around in ast week that reminded me of the Little India area of East Vancouver. I really liked it there too, foe the same reasons I listed above. ❤️❤️❤️

The Central Brooklyn Library has a good Manga selection, but the Stavros whatever you call it Library downtown has better hours and is more comfortable. Also, I like the immediate area there. The area around the Central Brooklyn Library is uninviting and sterile and boring. Way too hoity toity for me. I did like that coffee shop on Lincoln, but I don't fit in with that crowd, hell, I don't think I fit in anywhere. Guess I'm too much of an independent individual. Oh well. I'll keep going my own way because I'm not going to conform and pretend I'm on some particular "side" or I'm "all-in" with one particular "way" or whatever. I can't be anyone but me. I'm not interested in living a lie. That's no way to be. Just sucks your soul dry until it's dark and empty and hollow—much like the words that are espoused from many government heads of state and corporate industry CEOs. Not to say there aren't good leaders among them who are actually working hard to help people who actually need it. Especially in government, there is so much red tape bullshit and stupid old rules and laws that make no fucking sense and were mostly implemented to protect "rich hoity toity british supremacist god-fearing very upstanding and important white folk". And that doesn't mean I think all white British people are hoity toity supremacist assholes. And I don't have some crazy hate for everyone who believes in God or identifies as Christian.. or even as Muslim. I just don't know a better way to describe it, but I think most people understand quite clearly what I mean by that.

Manhattan will be a good place to panhandle/ask for spare change. Might have to stay at the drop in centres when it's cold. Will find a good spot to sleep outside for when it's not too cold out. Or sleep on the subway. Whatever works. The cemetery is probably where I will end up sleeping. I feel safe and comfortable and accepted there. No matter the "type" of cemetery it is or which "race" or "culture" it may be "designated" as being. The military cemeteries are my favorite. There is no division. The borders are open here between the living and the dead. And they can hear me just as I hear them. Some of them even like music. They aren't all so sure about all the new styles. Like grandparents, gotta introduce them to the new stuff in stages. They were always open to discussion, even when they didn't like or agree with what was being said. We encompassed many cultures and ways into our lives as friends. They didn't always understand other ways, but they accepted them. As long as we get to live our ways too. It can be done. But other cultures have to accept other ways. It can't be unidirectional.

Maybe they'll let me have a NYCID and then I can at least use the library computer to print my resume and give it to restaurants and construction sites in hopes of finding work.under the table as I won't be able to find legal employment unless I go to Mexico and return illegally through the southern border. Or marry someone... lol, but that is definitely not my style and not something I would ever do again—never fucking ever.

I am sure there are lots of women and men out there who don't understand why I wouldn't just buy some girly clothes and throw on a bunch of makeup and make myself all fucking "pretty" and wear those fucking undergarments that make it so you look all "perfectly smoothly shaped", hey, I could even get those fake ass underwear and a water bra so I can pretend like I have some awesome tits and ass assets and I'm all perfect when I am naked... but I don't have those kind of assets!

<aide>
In fact, I don't have any assets at all. I just have some journals full of my stupid poems and sketchbooks full of shitty drawings. That's what I got. And that's all I have to fall back on to make money. That's it. I don't have any special talent or skills. I'm just an average girl. Not a master or a specialist of anything. I just know a moderate amount of stuff in a variety of areas.
<end aside>

Furthermore, I'm not going to advertise my body as some fucking commodity to "get a man". I never have done that. That's just fucking stupid to shove yourself into some stupid spandex leotard thing and pretend that you have a body type that you don't. I never have specifically gone out and purposefully bought nylons or anything that make my body shape something that it's not. I just bought what was comfortable and would actually stay up as so many pants and skirts and shit fall off my waist because it's small compared to my hips. Pants never stay on my waist and when I try and buy smaller sizes, my hips and thighs don't fit into them. I am not shaped like the clothing manufacturers think I am supposed to be shaped as a women. My waist is too small, my boobs are small and my ass and thighs are too big—no matter what size/weight I am. And I am almost always too fat and have too high a bmi according to those stupid height/weight charts. They don't factor in muscle mass or bone density. Some of us are naturally more "dense" than others. That's probably why I can't fucking float in the water but can easily sink and sit at the bottom of pools, lakes, and oceans.

Anyhow, I am sure lots of people don't get why I don't just present some fake image and wear shit that makes me all nice and curvy and then go prance around town and go to the Richie rich areas and flutter my eyelashes and flirt with rich men and find one that might marry me, hey, maybe I can offer myself up as a sex object and offer blo jobs or sex or whatever the men want so I can get money or citizenship or whatever else I might need. But that’s not who I am. Never has been. Never will be. I can't do that and feel OK. I just can't pretend to be someone I am not. And I don't want to model that kind of behavior as acceptable or OK either—especially to kids/teens/young adults. Actually, not to anyone for that matter! Grown men and women included. Y'all wanna go around pretending like you are someone you aren't or some perfect person or whatever y'all like to present to the world as your persona, I'm not joining in on the fake it till you make it bullshit.

Also, I am sure there sure lots of people who wonder why I tip everyone and donate my money and time when I don't "get anything" in return and when I have next to nothing left and zero income coming in and zero job prospects at this moment in time. That's just how I was raised by my grandparents. We gave and shared what we had, even when we didn't have much. My grandparents (mostly my grandfather, actually) regularly donated money to charitable organizations. My grandmother always shared whatever we had with the people we were surrounded with; neighbors, friends, people who "did services" for us such as working at the doctor, delivering mail, etc.

And it wasn't some religious thing that they did this because of. It was just who they were. I am sure a lot of their generosity and kindness and understanding and acceptance of different cultures and races had to do with their experiences going through actual fucking war and seeing the awful devastation it causes.

And neither of them ever forced their beliefs on me or attempted to sway me into believing in a particular religion or spiritual path or whatever. I never was expected to go to church or read the Bible or say prayers at night or say grace before meals. That didn't happen in my household—ever! Unless it was something I was interested in doing, then they supported me with that—even if they didn't necessarily "agree" with what I was dojng or studying or reading. If it was something they were concerned with about being a "bad influence" they just talked to me about it—like they had actual conversations/discussions—it wasn't like they grilled and interrogated me with questions like they were the ultimate authority figures in my life and I had to listen to everything they said like it was some fucking "word of god" or some bullshit like that.

Anyhow, back to the "why am I so nice" thing. I tip people because I learned from my grandparents to be appreciative of what other human beings do and to have respect for them, regardless of the job they do, because even the people who are just "custodians" or "janitors" are absolutely necessary in this world because most people don't care much about the world and the environment and the people around them.

Also, I come from a country that fucking rapes you for taxes and doesn't appreciate their own citizens who were legitimately born in the country nor do they pay their front line workers, including their military personnel, enough to be able to afford their "affordable housing" nor have they historically treated, respected, or appreciated those that have served the country and gone to fight in wars and served respectably in the community after they were beyond the age of being able to be shipped off to Korea. Military personnel and their families live in Military housing—if there's space available. It's quite limited and the housing is generally subpar and in the "poor neighborhoods" of the cities.