Ember

Ember

Looking out the window I caught sight of the cat. Not MY cat, mine would be inside. I’ve had many cats in my years, I adore cats, but every one of mine was an indoor cat.

I live with my son and family now. I have a lovely little “apartment” of my own. A bedroom/living room and a bath, all in one side of the basement. Its family oriented, as well as private. And two large windows looking into the back yard. The cat is technically theirs, and “Ember” is allowed to go outside any time he wants.

Almost daily I find a small body, sometimes half eaten, often just dead. I know it’s Ember’s work. I’ve caught him at it many times, chasing off his prey before he can hurt them. I run out warning Em to ‘let go or else!!’ He ignores me… I know he thinks of them as toys, but I just can’t seem to let it go. My only consolation is believing in reincarnation, that the little souls go on to a bigger better life. Still, it undoubtably hurts, I have to save them whenever possible.

I realize how silly this is. I myself could live on chicken nuggets… I just tell myself they too, are on to a better life, after all, who wants to be a chicken? Sometimes I wonder if my brain makes this stuff up, super lies running around between my ears so that I can have peace. It doesn’t work when I see Ember closing in. I rush out, scaring the chipmunk enough to scoot up a tree. Ember looks at me as if saying, “Again???”

But then he comes over and pushes up against me. I pat him, and he purrs. And suddenly, life is good again.