Evolution

Why is it that our feelings must evolve?

Im alone
And it’s not that I’m actually alone
It's empty, almost hollow
A text I sent to self-isolate
“Sorry, I can’t do this anymore.”

I’m scared
And it’s not the fear of monsters under the bed
It’s more unknown, almost haunting
A ghost is whispering in my ear
“The future’s coming, and you don’t have a plan.”

I’m Angry
And it’s not because my sister stole my toy
It’s more hidden, almost a secret
A muted scream into the wilderness
“HATE IS A STRONG WORD AND I HATE…”

I’m sad
And it’s not from being sent to my room
It is more steady, almost permanent
A drawing on my skin from a fine-point Sharpie
“I’m here to stay. I’m all that will stay.”

I'm alone, scared, angry, and sad
And none of it feels like it did when I was 7
It evolved and matured
A question on a test that wasn’t studied
“I don’t know why”

Im Lost
And it’s not like an adventure I can’t find my way back from
Well, it kinda is
A trail that leads you the wrong way, saying
“It’s ok; you don’t need to return the way you came.”