The weight of betray:a personal struggle

Betrayal has become my constant companion--my weakness, my illness, my profound disgust. Despite the toll it takes on me, others continue to betray me, showing little regard for my suffering. This betrayal has infiltrated my life, spreading through me like a debilitating disease, leaving me paralyzed with fear and failure.
The relentless nature of betrayal has led me to question: what if this is the path to my ultimate downfall? What if the emotional wounds inflicted by others are not just temporary scars but harbingers of a more profound impact? Each act of betrayal chips away at my trust and my will to remain open to others.
I find myself trapped in a cycle where the pain of betrayal feeds into my fears, creating a vicious loop of disappointment and distrust. It feels as though I was given a tender heart--one so easily broken, so vulnerable to the harshness of human interactions. What was once a source of compassion and connection now feels like a liability in a world that often seems indifferent to the suffering it causes.
In grappling with this betrayal, I am forced to confront my own vulnerabilities and the cost of holding onto a heart that continues to be hurt. It is a struggle to balance the desire to protect myself with the need to remain open and hopeful, even when faced with the harsh reality of repeated disappointment.