Supermarket Super Scramble

It's the first Sunday of the Month that means one thing, its the Sheepsville Supermarket Scramble.

In lane 1, it's the six foot willowy frame of forty two year old stay at home father of two Paul Put wearing an ill-fitting yellow T-shirt with the words 'Captain Put' printed in white Times New Roman's New text. His brown moustache and receding brown hair gives him a somewhat Ned Flanders look. When shopping Mr Put likes to take his time reading ingredients, expiration dates and comparing prices with other stores. As well as this he will refer to a guide on allergies and thoroughly analyse for compatibility to the family diet.

In lane 2 and currently doubled over and in a headlock from contestant 3, five foot five private banking director Felicity Fell. Felicity trained for this by trying to buy off the other contestants! Felicity can't remember the last grocery store she was in as she gets her shopping done online by her personal assistant Bruno. Her heavy black two piece business suit and lack of physical fitness is surely going to make it hard for this plump forty seven year old. Given how sweaty she was from the short ten metre walk from her black three year old Mercedes Benz to the store; this challenge might be one race too much, however right now she has other issues as she gasps for air pleading for contestant 3 to let her go.

Contestant 3, the five foot eight muscles from Brussels Sally Strongheim, a mother of two, fitness instructor and competitive weightlifter as well as alpha female who is not afraid to show whose boss. Her super girl tank top looks sown onto her muscular frame. Her oiled biceps glisten underneath the bright supermarket lights. Pushing a trolley and carrying large items will be no problem to her however; her shovel like hands might struggle with smaller items. She trained for this by carrying tractor wheels and wrestling marines. She has warned all Contestants to stay away from the energy supplements. The judges now warn Sally from a safe distance of no violent behaviour as Felicity's plump head turns fire engine red.

Lane 4 Nineteen year old five foot eight Lyle Lump. Lyle being a student merely survives on toast and bacon if he can stretch the budget. Lyle trained for this by setting his wake up alarm 10 minutes before the event. Lyle is red eyed from partying well into the early hours of the night. His soiled tan combats and crippled green and white T-Shirt indicate he may have slept in the clothes that he is wearing. The lost expression on his face as he looks around indicates he's not quite sure why he is here.

Lots of support for the competitors today! Paul Put is supported by his family, his wife forty year old wife Patty, his fourteen year old son, Paul Junior who is a minnie me of his father. His twelve year old daughter Pam and ten year old daughter Little Patty; all wearing bargain basement white T-Shirts with the words 'Team Put' printed in yellow Times New Roman text. Supporting Felicity all dressed in black suits are a team of lawyers who nervously keep their distance from the group of bikers supping Sally Strongheim.
Supporting Lyle are half drunk Student housemates hoping to have free decent food at last.

The winner is the one to make its way to the end of the aisle with the most items at the highest value within three minutes. The winner gets three months free shopping. The only rule is there is no rule, sorry following legal communication with Felicity's lawyers there is now one rule no violence, anything to keep their client safe.

The contestants line up in front of check out five. Their trolleys wait for them 4 metres ahead at the start of the aisle. They must wait for the fog horn which indicates time has started, they then run to their trolley and begin shopping.

Paul Put places a face mask over his nose and mouth, he's not taking a chance of catching something from the other contestants. Lane two Felicity rubs her lower back with her right palm fans her flush face with her left hand she looks exhausted already!!

Sally Strongheim puts on a show for the audience as she flexes her muscles and screams to physique herself up which gets howls from her biker friends and terrorises Paul Put and Felicity Fell, Lyle Lump hasn't noticed he's in his own little world!!

Lyle's boisterous friends try waking him up by dousing him with water but it seems to be having little effect.

The Foghorn blasts. Sally in two strides grabs her trolley and is off. Paul Put slowly removes a note book from his brown shoulder bag and begins frantically trying to find a specific section.

Felicity gasps hard after six moderately fast steps, her corpulent frame unable to main such a pace, with no choice she returns to a slow paced waddle. Lyle open mouthed glances from left to right unsure which aisle to take meanwhile his friends laugh hysterically and point him in each direction.

Paul Put has now made it to the start of the aisle. He stops again opens his shoulder bag and removes a brown spectacle box and takes out a pair of narrow frameless glasses and examines a packet of cheddar cheese. His family should at him their allergies in the hope that it will speed him up.
Sally Strongheim powers ahead, grabbing items off the shelves in bulk and tossing them at ease into her trolley.

Felicity Fell now marginally ahead of Paul Put. She places her hand inside her suit pocket and removes her cell phone. It's her legal team with new information, in order to win she will need to pick up the pace. Horrified she asks if she can outsource the challenge to someone else. She sighs in frustration as they deliver the bad news.

The judges try to snap Lyle out of his trance by feeding water through his lips. His friends jeer him by asking what hooker done this to him. Patty Put tries to block such foul words from the ears of her daughters and warns her son not to end up like him!!

Sally Strongheim has powered to a quarter the way up the aisle already, She turns around and laughs to see how far back the others are!! She stops and shows off by putting on a mini performance of more muscle flexing and screaming, much to the allure of her biker friends who fist pump, belly bump and high five each other.

The battle for second place is quite tense. Marginally ahead is Felicity Fell who huffs and puffs from the strain of a slightly faster pace, her strategy is to only select items at hand level, bending down too strenuous.
Just behind her in third is Paul Put who has stalled again this time to put on a pair of biodegradable gloves.

Lyle begins to show some form of life by taking a basket and walking the wrong way, his friends fire candy at him which gets them a warning from security and he is escorted back to the start line and the rules re-explained to him.
Paul Put shakes his head in disgust at the contents of cheap easy-spread cheese, his family now shouting at him to put it in and get moving.
Felicity still in second place and a long way and safe distance behind Sally Strongheim, already struggles to maintain her pace, she begins to remove her suit jacket revealing a sweat saturated white silk sleeveless and collarless blouse. She rests her suit jacket in the child seat of her trolley, her short shallow breaths are not the long deep breaths her lungs desperately require. Her phone rings and she takes it out of her jacket pocket, it's her legal team, they are obviously advising her she can't take her jacket off, she sighs with annoyance as she places it back on.

Sally Strongheim is now three quarters of the way down the aisle but wait!, her pace is dropping as lactic acid begins to build up in her muscular frame. She stops to massage her biceps and arms could this be the end for Sally!

Paul Put has now moved on to vegan cheeses where he compares brands and on his cell phone compares prices from other stores. His family's patience wearing thing as they shout at him to hurry up.

It's now dawned on Lyle's house mates that if he doesn't hurry up they will remain hungry, their boisterous cackling now serious roars of agitation at his inaction.

Felicity Fell gasps hard as she fills her trolley with items with in easy reach, Sally Strongheim now is stopped still, her lack of cardio now evident for all to see, she tries some stretching of her arms. The fist pumping and the high fives of the biker gang has stopped, they now chant her name hope in the hope it will get her muscles working again

What's this!! Lyle has woken, he sprints to the trolley and begins filling it with everything in his path.

Meanwhile Paul Put consults with his family on which vegan cheese they would prefer, they now use expletives which gets them a warning from the judges.

Felicity Fell is now two feet from Sally Strongheim, she looks terrified and stalls apprehensively as Sally hisses at her. She takes out her phone and dials her legal team, they answer and advise her not to overtake Sally. what is Felicity going to do? Meanwhile out of frustration; Paul Put's wife has taken the trolley from him and begins filling it but she is quickly stopped by the judges.

Sally begins to refill her trolley slowly, the pain in her arms evident, it's now one item at a time, she grinds her teeth with ever item lifted. Felicity fans her face, exhaustion visible for all to see, she only came in for a bottle of wine.

Paul Put has had his trolley emptied by the judges and forced to start again, he requests them to wipe down the trolley push bar after them touching it. Meanwhile, his family roaring at him that he is going to be beaten.

Lyle Lump has caught up on Felicity. She offers him money to continue shopping for her. He takes the money and also begins emptying the contents from her trolley into his. She attempts to retrieve the items one at a time but the physical exertion after the first attempt takes its toll and her meek effort proves useless. Lyles supporters rejuvenated by his action, break into Queens 'We Are the Champions". Felicity now uses the only form of self defence she knows and calls her lawyers, they offer to call her back after they have an emergency meeting.

Oh dear, Sally now is overtaken by Lyle, she hisses but he doesn't notice. Paul Put has had his trolley push bar cleaned off and he reminds himself of what products he had picked previously. Felicity sighs impatiently as she awaits a response from her lawyers who are now drilling the store manager for the contest contract that probably doesn't exist.

Lyle is now firing on all cylinders, he is just two metres from the finishing line with 50 seconds to spare. His housemates sense food for the first time in a long time and rise the roof with cheering him.

Paul Put's family have now left but he hasn't noticed as he rings a rival store to find out what they charge for Irish cream cheese. Felicity Fell meanwhile is back on her phone which her legal team who confirm that there is no contract and she probably has lost.

With ten seconds to spare, Lyle Lump crosses the finishing line, to take first place. His house mates jump up and down screaming as tears of joy streams down his face and theirs, they will have food again well for three months. The final hooter goes to signal time up. Lyle is the only one that finishes. His friends lift him into the air like he won the world championship of Supermarket Scrambles.
Next up is Sally Strongheim, cursing herself and pushes her trolley angerly away until it comes to a stop by smashing into a Herseys chocolate stand knocking it over.

Felicity Fell leans exhausted against the coffee section of the aisle, she isn't half way, she calls her Legal team to check if there is any legal consequences of her going back to the start line as it was a shorter distance "they advised they didn't believe their was".

Sally Strongheim helps Lyle down from his friends shoulders and strongarms him for the money he took from Felicity Fell.

What's this!! Sally storms towards Felicity, Felicity looks like a terrified rabbit in headlights and is sweating profusely. Sally is unbuttoning Felicity's suit jacket. Felicity beckons her legal team over, meanwhile they consult each other on why she is beckoning them. Now Sally takes Felicity's handbag from out of the trolley and is opening it. Felicity is too terrified to do anything apart form beckon her Lawyers, is Sally about to help herself to the contents? Wait, she places the money Lyle took from Felicity back into the handbag, zips it up, places it back into the trolley and jabs Felicity's tummy with her right index finger advising her to exercise more.

Paul Put meanwhile is arguing with the judges on the poor safety measures put in place and that three minutes is not fair on those that are truly health conscious.