that moron makes my fears go away

This is a very early start of two awkward people spending time together.

"Hey, Sora."

It's been a long while since I've decided to avoid Sian and most of their attempts at interaction.

Most of the time they tried to stop me from just walking out of the conversation, until they got the message and moved along.

It's been a week since their last attempt and now they're at my front porch.

Now I've got nowhere to run. Is that their idea of getting me to talk?

Although their tone is as calm as always, I can feel an air of confusion but no bitterness.

"Wanna hang out?" they ask.

That's the only question they have for me, apparently.

I have to write.

"No."

There's nothing to gain from it. There's no point from this interaction, in the end.

They get close to me, they suffer.

"Okay. Farewell, Sora." They wave goodbye.

Their tone is oddly peaceful and accepting. Such is Sian.

No matter how many times I tell them to leave me alone, they do it without hesitation.

So annoying.

How can they keep trying to include someone like me into their life? Don't they see it as a waste of energy?

But they didn't say "See you later" this time.

What do they mean by farewell?

...

The next week we cross paths, they didn't say a thing.

Not a nod nor a smile, just a subtle glance of 'Oh, it's Sora again.'

The man who hanged out with me twice and then spontaneously ditched me.

The guy I talked with for a bit, until he decided he didn't care about me anymore.

Because that gloomy freak would rather spend time alone.

No. What am I thinking about? That's not how Sian sounds at all.

Even though I barely know them, everytime, they gave me no berating or questioning.

Only calm understanding.

Something about it irks me even more. Sounds typical, but I don't deserve their kindness.

Is there really no ulterior motive? They see nothing wrong with me, with how I am?

They think I'm acting fair enough, no explanation needed for my decisions and written comments?

Is there anything that could piss that person off? Probably not.

What am I going on about. It's not important.

Stop thinking about it, everything returned to normal, just like you wanted.

Including the silence.

Your plush, white pillows. The corners of your room. The standard, colorless house. The tinnitus. The headache.

The ceiling in your bedroom.

Minus Sian.

No.

Sian's in the next aisle.

For some reason, I stop stalling. Their shoulder appears right under my palm.

"Huh? Sora?" They turn to me.

For some reason, it felt like they acknowledged me even before even turning their head.

Sian. They say my name so freely.

"I need the thing that you're blocking." I write. Did I just lie?

Why am I doing this.

"Oh. Sure, take it." They step away, revealing a whole gallon of chocolate milk.

Well. Sure. Why not.

I take the thing in my shopping basket, almost crushing the other products I had underneath.

In their basket are basic essentials and some colorful kids sewing kit.

I didn't know they already got a child in the span of three weeks that I was ignoring them.

"Oh, this? I thought I'd try a new skill, seeing as my old jacket got torn up." They say.

Right then.

I guess that explains why they're in a hoodie instead. The laces are tied in a bow. The things that they do for no reason.

"I'm also thinking of cooking some stuff. Though I'm still mediocre at it." They gesture towards various ingredients like a humble old lady rather than a broke college student.

"Mediocre is better than nearing a fire hazard everytime you cook on a stove." I write.

They start laughing, because I'm cool and funny. "Yeah, that's true."

Sian continues shopping for their regular stuff. I'm not following them, I just happen to be going in the same direction.

"Oh, eraser." They pick up a white eraser.

I take one, too. The label says dust-free. Nice.

They start talking, although I haven't asked a thing about them. Maybe it's because I'm listening, instead of walking away for once.

"I'll need this for drawing. I've been trying to mimick this messy art style but it doesn't turn out the way I imagined."

Now that they picked one eraser, they start crowding their basket with mechanical pencils.

"If you've heard of this one artist... one second," they murmur.

They pull out their phone to show some niche internet artist, who I would only find on accident, when trying to look up a dish soap brand.

I just nod along.

When they ask me about it, I tell them I don't draw. Maybe I've tried a few times, but lately I see no reason to.

They say it's a shame, because they'd be curious about my "style."

For some reason, I'm gradually devoid of any thoughts.

It's only after we leave the shop with our bags, that I realize I've been listening to them non-stop.

Ever since I impulsively placed a hand on their shoulder, they've been making me incredibly stupid.

Maybe they used hypnosis.

Either way, I couldn't bring myself to care. It feels calm.

Since we live nearby, we took the same walking path.

They talked about obvious things, like the sun shining and the grass being greener.

"Hey, Sora." This again. "There's a cool spot I found, let's go there after we're done with the groceries."

It's probably just another park.

Maybe they're avoiding using the word 'hang out' or phrasing it in a question, after I keep rejecting them all the time.

When I put everything in the fridge, Sian calls out to me from the window.

I leave the house and follow their lead.

It's a solid ten minutes walk there, with Sian saying something weird like preparing for a seating place and carrying a rug and a basket.

When we stray from the path and walk past the trees and shrubs, Sian gestures to a spot crowned with little rose lilies.

They place a rug on an empty spot, patting next to them.

I take a seat and see the opening from the trees, into a view of what looks like a small rock waterfall.

The sunlight zoning in on the rippling water through the leaves carried by the thin, boney branches.

It's sets a pleasant background noise, while Sian uncovers the basket with the contents that lets us have something to occupy ourselves with, as they go on and on about something inconsequential.

All while having that dumb, stupid smile on their face. It's the happiest I've seen them in a while.

I suppose that only means we're hanging out again.

I can't remember what I was worried about.