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A comedy of multiversal proportions! |
| [Introduction]
Let's be honest, this timeline we're all stuck in sucks. Royally! I'm pretty sure if given the chance, we all would choose to live in another time, or even another plane of existence. As long as it's better than this, right? Well, that's what this story is all about. Basically it's a mish mash of Back to the Future and Doctor Who. Martin McWry is just your average teenager living in your average, boring town where nothing exciting ever really happens. His only real friend is the resident recluse, Dr. Erwin Greene. When Dr. Greene invites Martin to help him test his latest invention on the edge of town in the middle of the night, Martin is skeptical, but decides to go anyway, having nothing better to do. That's when his dull life in this reality ends, and their adventures begin. Basically, the story will follow our two protagonists as they travel through time and even other universes using the doctor's inventions, searching for a more suitable place to call home, getting into various troubles and antics along the way. |
| Morton Hills, the kind of town where nobody outside of it even knew it existed. It was also about the most boring place imaginable, with absolutely nothing notable or significant about it. The time was about two in the morning, as a lone figure in jeans and a red hoodie rode his ten-speed through the abandoned, barely illuminated streets. This was local resident, Martin McWry, a high school junior who had spent literally his entire life in this armpit of a town, and yearned inside for something, anything exciting to happen in his life. Be careful what you wish for, Martin... Martin's only real friend in town was the neighborhood recluse, Dr. Erwin Greene. They had met back when Martin used to work a paper route, and accidentally sent one smashing through the doctor's window. While Greene was less than happy at first, Martin offered to do some work around his home to make up for it. Greene accepted and was soon impressed by Martin's willingness to accept responsibility and work ethic, and the two of them eventually became friends. It turns out that the good doctor fancied himself as an inventor and student of the scientific arts. Around his home were various contraptions he made himself to aid in day-to-day tasks. By his own account, he was once a teacher at a prestigious university forced to resign by the board because of his crazy theories. Martin made his way to the very edge of town, to a long stretch of road where Greene had specifically asked to meet him. Why he insisted on meeting at this ungodly hour, Martin had no clue. When he reached the designated spot, he lowered his kickstand and dismounted as he heard a familiar barking noise. He saw a German Shepherd running up to greet him. It was Dr. Greene's dog, Isaac. "Hey, Isaac, buddy!" Martin said, kneeling to pet the dog, who happily licked his face. "Where's Dr. Greene?" Isaac led Martin a bit further down the road to find the doctor himself, currently bent over the engine of what looked to be a classic 1950s hotrod, which, despite its age, looked to be in practically pristine condition. "Doc, I'm here!" "Martin! Glad you could make it!" Doctor Greene said as he closed the hood of the car and greeted his young friend. Dr. Greene wore his usual lab coat and boots, and the top of his head was bald with wild, white unkempt locks on the sides. "All the preparations have been made, and everything is ready to go." "Go where, Doc? And where did you get the car?" "Away from this miserable timeline, that's where! I don't know if you watch the news, but if not, believe me when I say, you're not missing anything. Every day, it's nothing but mass shooting this and natural disaster that. And that's on a good day! I moved to this town because I wanted to get away from the outside, away from the endless turmoil. But now I fear even a place like this will no longer be safe." "What are you talking about?" "Open your eyes, Martin! This entire planet has been steadily going down the toilet for the last twenty plus years! But I have a way out, Martin! This car is my latest and greatest invention, the Time And Space Interdimensional Traveler! Or TASIT, for short." Martin looked at his friend as though he had completely gone off the deep end, crossing his arms over his chest. "Right...so you're saying this car can travel through time?" Dr. Greene had never seemed so excited before. "Not just time! It can travel through the fabric of the universe itself! Into other realities and dimensions! Imagine what awaits us in another world, Martin! It's got to be better than this miserable planet, right?" "Doc, what are you saying? You turned an antique car into some kind of time machine/dimensional portal, and want to leave this reality in hopes of finding a better one?" "Yes! That's it exactly!" "Doc... no offense, but I think you must have hit your head pretty hard or something. This is completely ridiculous! I know you're an inventor, but I highly doubt anybody could make such a device." "Oh no? Why don't you put your money where your mouth is, then? You get in the passenger seat, and I'll prove I'm not crazy!" Martin decided that for their friendship's sake, he'd humor the doctor and his absurd fantasy. They both got in the front seats of the car, with Isaac climbing into the back seat. Martin's eyes widened as he saw that the dashboard of the car was covered in various displays, buttons, and switches. "So, where to?" Dr. Greene asked. Martin sighed, unable to believe he was really doing this. "Well, I've always wanted to go back to the 1980s, even though I wasn't born then." "Okay then! Next stop,1985!" Dr. Greene pressed some buttons on a control panel, flipped some switches, then slammed his foot on the gas, causing the car to zoom forward at high speed. Not expecting the sudden acceleration, Martin let out a startled cry as they flew down the straight highway out of town. The speedometer was steadily going higher, and higher, until suddenly... |
| They showed up somewhere. However, it wasn't 1985. Or, if it was, it was a very different 1985. |
| Sure, it was 1985, but something was quite off. Sure, everything was normal: a tree stood tall in a neighbor's yard, a giraffe was mowing its lawn- Wait a minute! A giraffe mowing its lawn? Martin was puzzled. Before he could say anything, a dog wearing clothes and a female human approached him. "Hey, neighbor," the dog said. "I'm Kyle." "And I'm Savannah," the woman added. "Savannah's my wife," Kyle replied. "Hi," Martin said timidly. "I don't suppose you have a pet cat or something?" "What's a pet?" Savannah asked. Martin couldn't believe what he heard. How could she not know what a pet was? "Forget I asked that," he said. "Sure thing," Kyle said as he and Martin shook hands. Before Martin could say anything, a really chubby cat with a goatee and wearing cargo pants with a belt and a shark tooth necklace approached the three after getting something from his mailbox. "Hey, Kyle," he asked. "Who's your new friend?" "Uh, Martin," Martin replied. "I don't know anyone by that name," the cat said. "You must be new to the neighborhood. Come with me. I'll introduce you to my housemates." He escorted Martin to his house which was nearby. An equally chubby wolf with a goatee and wearing cargo shorts with a belt and a shark tooth necklace pulled up on a lawnmower. "Andy!" He cried. "You didn't tell me we had a new neighbor!" "Actually," Andy said. "His name's Martin. Martin, this is Jim." "Uh, nice to meet you, Jim," Andy said, extending his hand for a handshake. Jim extended his hand and the two shook. "Andy, you said you had housemates," Martin whispered to Andy. "Jim is just one." "Actually, there's five of us," Jim said. He and Andy escorted Martin into the house. Sure enough, there were three other animals in the house: a bear, a fox, and a rabbit. All of them were as chubby as Andy and Jim and they all had goatees and wore cargo shorts with a belt and shark tooth necklaces. "Everyone, this is Martin!" Jim announced. "I'm Harold," the bear said. "I'm Greg," said the fox. "And I'm Sam," the rabbit replied. "Nice to meet you all," Martin said. "Want to stay for dinner?" Greg said. "We ordered three pizzas," Sam added. "The more, the merrier," Harold said. |
| After the pizza arrived, the group sat in the living room and ate as they got acquainted with their new "neighbors". "So, where are you two from?" Greg asked. Martin and Dr. Greene both suddenly became visibly nervous. How were they supposed to explain they were from the future, and a world where anthropomorphic animals don't exist? "Let's just say we're from somewhere very far from here. We'd rather not discuss it." Dr. Greene said quickly. "I noticed your car outside." Sam said, "I appreciate the classic cars quite a bit myself. It's a what, 57?" "55, actually." Dr. Greene said. "Anyway, it's been wonderful meeting you all, but we really should be going." "Stop by anytime!" Harold said as the group waved farewell and the duo made their way to the door. "Doc, just what the hell is going on?" Martin said the instant they were out of earshot. "It would seem we not only travelled back to 1985, but to an alternate reality as well." Dr. Greene replied, "I must have hit the wrong switch on the control panel by mistake. Regardless, it makes little difference. We'll just get back in the TASIT and try again. But as they tried to activate the car again, smoke came billowing from under the hood as sparks began to fly from the dashboard. "Well, that's not good!" Doc said through violent coughing fits. "Now what's the problem?" An exasperated Martin exclaimed. "Clearly, something's wrong with the car's inner workings. It might be the engine itself, or maybe something more technical. Until we figure which, and fix it...it looks like we're stuck here." |
| "Although, there is a question or two on my mind," said Dr. Green. "What do the meat eaters eat, because I want to know what that pepperoni was made of." "Why do you ask that?" Martin asked. "Well, they mentioned not knowing what a pet was," said Dr. Green. "Makes one wonder if they have livestock or wild game, and if said livestock or wild game are sapient or not." "Meaning?" "Well, if they only eat those that die of old age, natural causes, accidents, and don't actively try to kill folks in order to eat them, we might be okay for a while," said Dr. Green. "Otherwise, I'm going to double-check to make sure that I remembered my Colt Peacemaker revolver, along with my Colt 1911, my Winchester 1873, and my Remington 870, not to mention my kukri and bowie." "Why are you going to check for that?" Martian asked, as Dr. Green opened his glove box. "Because I'd rather have them, and not need them, than not have them, and need them," the doctor said. "Good news is, I at least remembered the handguns and ammunition for them." "What if we don't need them, and these guys see them?" Martin asked. "What then?" "We simply ask if they are legal here, and explain that our old neighborhood was very dangerous," Dr. Green said, as he pulled down the back seat, and checked inside something in the trunk. "Looks like I remember those too." He backed out of the trunk area. "I'm surprised you brought them anyways," said Martin. "Because, if something happens, and we drop them here, they won't look unusual if dug up in fifty or so years," said Dr. Green. "Try to make sure that weapons fit in with the era you are planning to be in. An M4A1 dropped in 1863 would look very odd to an Archeologist in 1933." |
| At that moment, Kyle and Savannah approached them, having heard their mumbling. "We saw you talking out our window," Kyle said. "What were you talking about?" "Well, how do I put this?" Dr. Greene said. "What is your meat made of?" "Meat?" Savannah asked. "Why do you ask?" "Well, your neighbors invited us for pizza," Martin replied. "And we want to know what that pepperoni is made of." "Oh," Kyle said. "Meat is grown like fruits and vegetables." "It was nice the Fat Boys would invite you to their house for pizza," Savannah said. "Why did you give them that hurtful name?" Dr. Greene protested. "That's because they're all chubby," Kyle said. "They've been friends since childhood." "Maybe they can help us fix the TASIT," Martin whispered to the professor. "These two?" Dr. Greene asked, gesturing to Kyle and Savannah. "No, the Fat Boys," Martin said. "Sam did say he appreciated classic cars quite a bit." Dr. Greene tossed up his hands. "Worth a shot," he said. "Let's go talk to them." |
| Ringing the Fat Boy's doorbell, they were greeted by Greg. "Oh, hey! Back again so soon?" After a brief moment of hesitation, Martin said, "Sorry to bother you guys, but can Sam give us a hand with something? We're having a bit of car trouble." "Hey, Sam!" Greg called over his shoulder, "Our new neighbors need your help!" After helping the duo push the TASIT into the nearby garage, Sam prepared to open the hood. "Okay, let's see what the problem is." Before they could stop him, Sam looked into the engine bay and was speechless at what he saw. "What the...? What kind of car is this? There are all sorts of weird parts and doo-dads in here that I've never seen?" Thinking quickly, Dr. Greene said, "Let's just say it's an experimental prototype." Which wasn't exactly a lie. "Most of it runs off the V8 Engine, however. We think that might be part of the problem. Can you fix it?" Sam scratched his chin thoughtfully. "If it's a regular V8, I should be able to, but it'll take some time." "No rush." Martin said, "We've got all the time in the world." He meant that last part quite literally. "While you're waiting, why don't you see if Greg will show you around the neighborhood?" Sam asked as he retrieved his toolbelt. Figuring there was nothing better for them to do at the moment, Martin and the Doc did just that. As Greg was giving them the tour, they saw something that almost made their jaws drop to the ground. This reality's alternative versions of themselves! |
| "That's something to be careful of," said Dr. Green. "I have no idea what could happen. Could be nothing, could be the end of the galaxy." |
| "You mean we can't come in contact with them?" Martin asked. "Precisely," Dr. Greene said. Martin studied the pair. Dr. Greene's counterpart was a hippo in stretched taut. Martin's counterpart was an Arctic fox. "You guys okay?" Greg asked. "Not a problem," Martin said. "Do people call you and your friends the Fat Boys just to mock you?" "Not really," Greg said. "We were all thin before we moved in. When we moved in, we found out we had let ourselves go. We've called ourselves the Fat Boys ever since." "How's President Reagan doing?" Dr. Greene asked. "President Reagan," Greg said. "Our 39th President, he's still in office." "39th?" Martin asked. "But I thought Grover Cleveland was President twice." Greg chuckled, the laughter welling up from his large stomach. "Grover Cleveland's second presidency is just a myth," he laughed. "Like the Loch Ness Monster, the Queen of England, or Dan Rather." |
| Wait a minute, Martin thought, how is there an alternate me when I wasn't even born in 1985? He figured since this was an alternate universe, he must have a different birthdate here before pushing the thought out of his head. "So, what all is there to do for entertainment here?" He asked. "Well, let's see," Greg said, counting on his fingers. "There's the park, the swimming pool, the theater, the mall, basically all the stuff you would expect. Say, it's about lunchtime, wanna head to the food court for a bite to eat? I'm buying." Martin and Dr. Green looked at each other, shrugged, and agreed. Next thing they knew, they were enjoying burgers and milkshakes at the mall with Greg. As they ate, Martin couldn't help but admire the waitress who seemed to be around his age. She was quite a fox, in every sense of the word. Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to find himself face-to-face with his alternate universe counterpart. "Hey, you looking at my girl?" His other self growled, cracking his knuckles threateningly. Martin stammered uncontrollably, completely stumped as to how to respond. In the back of his mind, he noted that he wasn't normally the confrontational type, so it would seem his alternate self had a different personality from him as well. |
| "Well, there goes that theory," Dr. Green muttered. "Lad, if I were you, I wouldn't start a fight with some random stranger. Knew a fool that did that once - turns out that the fella he tried to fight was an expert in that karate stuff, boxing, wrestling, a bunch of things I can pronounce the names of. Do you know what beat that fool though?" "What?" the fox asked. "Expert's buddy grabbed a chair and smashed it over the fool's head, and while the guy was dazed, they swept their legs from under them," said Dr. Green. "Sounds like a fight I saw," said the hippo. "Maybe we were at the same bar that day," said Dr. Green. "Then again, fools all over, are a lot alike." He made a certain gesture. The hippo looked at him, nodded, and grabbed the fox's shoulder, and all but dragged him to another table. "Know the feeling. Fools all over are a lot alike." The hippo then whispered something to the fox. The fox looked at the hippo, and then Martin and Dr. Green in shock. "What's with that gesture?" Martin asked. "A secret code between brothers," said Dr. Green. "Means nothing to anyone else, but between me and my brother, it meant, 'I saw you steal those cookies' when I was 8 and he was 6 - I was the one to take the cookies. Had to bribe him with some to keep him from telling mom." |
| "Let's not let it happen again," Martin said. Without warning, the two could hear a loud growl. They looked around and heard the growl again. This time, they saw where it was coming from: Greg's belly! "Whoa!" He shouted. "I'm hungrier than before!" "No joke," Dr. Greene said. At that moment, he and Martin heard footsteps pounding nearby. It was Jim! "You guys want to come with us to the pool?" He asked the two. "I'm buying." "But we didn't bring swimsuits," Dr. Greene said. "You'll have to buy them." "Then it's a good thing I know where we can find you two some swimsuits," Jim said. |
| After stopping by a nearby shop, Martin and the Doc got themselves some swim trunks and followed Jim to the local swimming pool. On the way there, they noticed a certain hippo and artic fox who seemed to be tailing them. "They're not very good at the whole looking inconspicuous thing, are they?" Martin whispered with a bit of a chuckle. Once at the pool, the two sat on the edge of the deep end with their feet soaking in the water, as they discussed their next move. "This place doesn't seem so bad." Martin said, "But I'm curious as to what other universes and time periods might be like." "As am I." Dr. Green admitted, "Once the TASIT is fixed, we'll keep shopping around, so to speak. I wonder if Sam has made any progress?" Just then, they saw Jim climbing up the high dive. "Oh no," Martin whispered. "We should probably head back now, because it's about to be Nagasaki here." Dr. Greene agreed, and they both hastily retreated to the exit as Jim reached the top og the diving board. No sooner than they left, there was a loud SPLASH, and a huge wave erupted from the pool, soaking dozens of locals. Not long after, Jim followed close behind, soaking wet with a sour look on his face. "Not my fault the stupid diving board wasn't strong enough." |
| "With how big folks can get, you'd think it would be rated for thousand plus pound capacity," said someone else. |
| Martin turned to see who it was who said that: Harold! "Hey, Jim," he said. "I was wondering if our guests would like to join you, me, and Greg for a walk in the park." "Sure, why not?" Dr. Greene said. "Last one there's a rotten egg!" Jim shouted. Martin and Dr. Greene were the first ones to reach the park since Jim, Harold, and Greg were exhausted when they got there. "Phew!" Greg said. "We need to sit down!" So he, Jim, and Harold sat down on a park bench to rest, but it couldn't support all three of them, so it broke. "And I'm Theodor Geisel," Martin said. "I guess with the Fat Boys, there's no such thing as famine," Dr. Greene replied. "I don't know," Martin said. "These guys are fun." "We've got to focus on the task at hand," Dr. Greene said. "We must wait until the TASIT is fixed." |
| By the time evening rolled around, the time-travelling duo and the fat boys found themselves at a local bar, enjoying the nightlife of the town. "Go ahead, have a drink on me!" Greg said. "But I'm underage." Martin replied, "Don't you remember? They lowered the drinking age to seventeen last year." Said Harold. This intrigued Martin. He had never tried alcohol before, and always thought the twenty-one-and-over law was stupid. If you were allowed to join the military at eighteen, you should be allowed to drink too, he figured. So, he decided to live it up a little tonight and ordered a pint of lager, while Doc had a cocktail. Unbeknownst to them, the drinks of this universe were also much stronger than those of ours, and before long, before either of them knew what was going on, they found themselves waking upon the floor and sofa of the Fat Boys' house with throbbing headaches and no memory of how they got there. "Uuuughhh...my head..." Martin groaned "What happened?" Doc said as he regained consciousness, feeling no better, if not worse than Martin. "You two had quite the adventure last night," Greg said as he came into the room carrying two cups of a strange, unfamiliar liquid. "Here, sip this, it'll help with the hangovers you two no doubt have." "What happened?" Martin asked as he did so, almost afraid to hear the answer. |
| "But we're heavyweights," Jim said. "I'm the heaviest, so we go from heaviest to lightest in leadership. In this case, the next heaviest are Harold, Sam, Andy, and Greg." "Oh," said Martin. "I wonder how Sam's doing on our car." "Actually," Sam said as he entered the room. "I need a new part to fix it." "That's where we come in!" Said a voice. The alternate versions of Martin and Dr. Greene entered the room. "But weren't you -" Martin said. "I picked up a sense that these two were familiar," said Hippo Dr. Greene. "So I did some research, and it came to me that these two are from the future!" The Fat Boys gasped. "That's so cool!" Andy cried. "Have we landed on Mars? Do we have domestic robots catering to our every need?" "Maybe we can come with you to see for ourselves!" Greg said. "I don't think you could all fir in our car," Martin said. "You'll need to fetch some parts for us," Hippo Dr. Greene said. "They're at the carnival." "I'm sure we can keep the staff distracted," Arctic Fox Martin said. "My hippo counterpart and I will stay here and make some improvements to the TASIT," Dr. Greene said. "You guys retrieve the parts we need to repair it." With that, Martin, his Arctic fox counterpart, and the Fat Boys all left the house to go to the carnival. Once there, Martin and his Arctic fox counterpart had to pose as repairmen to get the parts for TASIT. Meanwhile, the Fat Boys were taking a trip through the House of Mirrors. |
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