Ah, Bologna

When trying to rob a train, a good meal is a must.

Ah, Bologna

          "Cabr, when's this dang train gonna show up, man? We been here since the rooster quit screamin'."

          "It's the noon train, ain't it? It's only... quarter past one. They got schedules, y'know. They ain't like our schedules, which is mostly just 'whenever we wake up.'"

          "Yeah, but my stomach ain't got no schedule, man. It's got needs. Did you pack that sandwich you promised?"

          "Yeah, I packed it. Right there."

          "What is this? Did you freeze this, Jed? It feels like a rock."

          "It's bologna! It's good eatin'! I got it cheap at the general store. The lady said it was fresh, almost."

          "'Almost' don't count when we talkin' processed meat! This ain't bologna, man. This is industrial packing material! Look at the color. It's got that kinda sheen that gives a fella doubts about his life choices, you know? I can't rob nobody feeling this low! I need fuel for mayhem!"

          "Oh, so now my provisioning is the issue? We're about to pull the biggest score of our lives, and you're worryin' about the quality of the tube meat?"

          "It ain't about quality, it's about morale! How am I supposed to scare the passengers when I got the heartburn of a thousand sorrows? Maybe if you'd packed a little chorizo, maybe some spiced pickles, we wouldn't be in this situation!"

          "Spiced pickles? We're outlaws, Paco! We ain't havin' a picnic! Trains a coming! Alright, get ready! Remember, we jump the third car, right after the coal tender!"

          "But what if they got snacks on the train? Like, the expensive kind? Maybe shortbread or somethin'?"

          "We ain't eatin' loot, we're stealin' loot, you idiot! Move!"


Word Count: 277