Country Lovin': Chapter Eighteen

"Do you think they'll like me?" Valene asked as Jessie pulled into a road with tons of single floor homes with one car garages.

"Of course. If I love you, they definitely will." Jessie smiled as he took her hand in his. "Believe me."

She smiled. "I do."

She felt her pulse quicken when Jessie pulled his truck up into the drive way of one of the homes. It was nicely kept. Flowers bloomed in the front of the house, and here, it seemed different then where they lived. It was quite a distance away from where Jessie and she lived, but it seemed as though they weren't even in Texas.

Jessie put the truck into park and he smiled. "Ready or not." He hopped out and as Valene was going to climb out, Jessie helped her out.

"You sure they're going to like me? I mean...since I'm..."

"Of course. You could be from Spain and they'd still love you."

She grinned and leaned against him, letting him take her hand in his and leading her to the front door.

Valene closed her eyes and took a deep breath as Jessie raised his hand and knocked on the door. She opened them when the door opened and a tall, slender man opened the door. His hair was still thick, but salt and peppery. Thin framed glasses rested on his nose, and he had chocolate brown eyes and a gentle smile.

He had strong arms and Valene could tell that this man was a farmer. He broke into a grin when he looked at her. "Jess, is this your lady? She's a beauty."

Valene smiled. "Yeah, Pop, this is her. The one I was telling you about."

"She's more beautiful than what you were sayin'. Why don't you come on in. You can show her off to your Ma."

Valene felt so special with Jessie's parents. Never before had anyone had genuine interest in her. Never asked her questions about what she did and what she wanted to do with her life. She felt as if they truly loved her and never before had she felt such a feeling.

They walked into the living room, Jessie's mother was sitting in a recliner, knitting. Jessie led Valene to the couch and they sat down next to each other. Stephen, Jessie's father, sat down in a recliner which sat side by side to Jessie's mother's chair.

"You are not what I expected of a city girl." Jessie's mother told her. Jessie's mother, Lori Beth, was beautiful. She was short, yet slender, and her frame was strong. Her hair was blonde, yet it looked faded with the soft white which had etched into it. Her eyes were large and blue, so soft and filled with love.

"I'm not?" Valene asked.

"No. I expected someone who needed to climb off their high horse. But you...you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Your parents must've raised you well. I bet they are proud of you."

Valene smiled and lowered her gaze to her hands, which rested softly in her lap. "I wouldn't know, Mrs. Taylor. They've both died."

"Oh I'm so sorry. I know that must sound late, but I mean it." Lori Beth smiled. "They did do a good job in raising you, and they're watchin' ya from up above. I'm sure of that."

Valene looked at Lori Beth and smiled. "Thank you. That means a lot." Jessie took Valene's hand and squeezed it.

"She was Kitty Lukus' great niece." Jessie informed his parents.

"Oh you poor thing. Kitty was such a lovely woman. I don't think there was a person in Almira who didn't like...or should I say, love her." Lori Beth said with a smile, setting her knitting in a hand bag next to her chair.

"I miss her, but she's in a better place I hope. She's with her husband and her nephew and the rest of her family. She definitely won't be lonely." Valene smiled and put some hair behind her ear.

"She was a senior when I was a freshman in high school. She was always so nice." Stephen told her. He smiled and ran a hand through his hair.

Valene didn't know what to say, but she suddenly felt tears come to her eyes. The sudden realization of her Aunt Kitty not being alive or being at home waiting for her, hit her like a ton of bricks. "Can...can I use your bathroom?" She asked, feeling her lower lip quiver.

"Of course...it's down the hall, first door on the right." Lori Beth told her. Valene nodded and stood up.

She found the bathroom with ease and closed the door. She looked at the mirror and the tears just raced down her cheeks and she looked away and collapsed onto the floor in sobs. The reality of her Aunt's death felt like a hard smack to the face and it felt like forever since her aunt had died, yet the realization of it made it feel like it had happened only that morning.

Valene took a deep breath and closed her eyes. This is not what Aunt Kitty would've wanted, she told herself in her mind. She'd want me to be strong for her, for everyone. I'm the oldest, which means I'm deemed to be the strongest. That is what I must be.

She pulled herself up to the counter and sighed. Glancing in the mirror, she noticed the redness in her eyes and she couldn't help but glance away. She remembered that look. For, it was what her eyes always looked for months after her mother's death.

She used the palms of her hands and rubbed her eyes free of the tears. She wanted them to be forgotten and hoped that Jessie nor his family would notice.

Valene had forgotten to bring her make-up, so she couldn't have brought it with her to fix herself up. So, instead, she just ran some water, splashed her eyes with it, turned it off, flushed the toilet, and opened the door, hoping that they wouldn't think anything of her longed disappearance.

They hadn't. They were all laughing and the sound of Jessie's laughter made her warm all over and it made her heart dance with a love she had never once felt before. It was so sad that she would be leaving early the next morning.

Jessie looked up and grinned. "Feel better?" He asked. He held out his hand and she took it. He yanked her down onto his lap and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her hand.

"Yes, I do." She replied with a laugh as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You guys look so happy." Stephen said, not particularly to anyone. His smile was wide and genuine. He looked to be such a nice man. A fatherly figure who loved his kids with everything that he was. It was a thing she had loved so much about her own father. One of the many things she missed about him.

"It's so sad to hear that you'll be leaving tomorrow." Lori Beth told her.

Valene looked at Jessie and kissed him softly. "Yes. I really don't want to leave because of everything I have here. It's just...my whole life is back in New York City...." She trailed off...believeing that what she was saying, what she had been saying, was the definite truth.

"You're going to come back and visit aren't you?" Lori Beth asked.

Valene nodded. "Of course. I wouldn't miss coming back here for the world. I love it here."

"Then stay. Stay with me." Valene was shocked to hear his voice. Jessie's dark brown eyes were large and staring directly into hers. One of his hands had begun to rub her lower back and it seemed to put her in such ease.

"I'd miss you if you left." He added as he searched her face, her eyes.

She looked away from him. She so much wanted to stay, but it wasn't possible. She had a whole other life in New York City. She just couldn't possibly leave it.

"You wouldn't want me to stay, Jess. What we have right now, is a fling. You'll hate me sooner or later, and I'll have to move back to New York. So, why just skip all the heartache now?" She stood and looked at Jessie's parents. "It was nice to meet you both. You've raised a good son. He just...he deserves better." She gave them a smile, and walked out.

She hadn't made it past the truck before she heard the front door slam and the sound of Jessie's feet as his boots cladded against the cement of the path.

"Valene! Valene!" He shouted her name and caught up with her, turning her around. He stared down at her, glaring.

"What was that about? Why didn't you answer me?" His voice was rough, edgy.

"You heard me. You're going to hate me if I stay, and I couldn't bare you hating me. You deserve better than me. Anyone is better than me. My sister is better. That Molly is--"

Jessie's eyes widened and he shook her. "Don't ever say that Molly is better than you. Don't you stay that anyone is better than you. I don't deserve better. As far as I'm concerned, I deserve you."

He searched her over and he ran her hands up and down her arms. "Why would I ever hate you? Why, if you'd stay, would I hate you?"

"You think you know me. I'm not as good a person as you think I am. I'm a horrible person with no morals."

"Kitty didn't think that. Your sister doesn't think that. My parents sure as hell don't think that. They want you to stay, and they've only met you once. Doesn't that show you anything? Are you always so harsh and rough on yourself? Are you always putting yourself down?"

"You don't know anything about me. And no, I'm not always doing that. When I say anything, it's because I'm stating the truth. Plain and simple, Jess."

"I know why you're leaving."

She arched a brow and wrinkled her forehead. "Okay, Mr. Psychic. Tell me why I am the way I am."

"You are too afraid to admit that you truly like me, that you might even love me. You're afraid that you might have found the right person, and you're wondering if maybe it's too good to be true. You're afraid that you might actually enjoy it here, instead of your cramped little apartment and sucky ass job back in New York City."

He had hit it dead on, yet she didn't want him to know. She was too afraid. Too afraid that maybe she had found the right person. It hurt that he could've picked it out so well. Plus there was something else...something she was afraid to tell him. "You have no idea what you're talking about. You're so...egotistical, aren't you. You think every woman in this whole damned town is in love with you. So, now that you have the whole damned town, you think that you can catch the heart of me, the new one. Well, you're wrong. All right? You aren't all that you think you're cracked up to be."

Afraid, and her eyes filled to the brim with tears, she ran. The sun had started to sink, and dark clouds started to roam over the town. She was so scared that what she was truly feeling for him was true, that Jessie was the man for her. It scared the begeezus out of her. Never before had she ever felt like this towards any other man. She regretted what she had said to him. She had wished she could just have admitted her feelings. She wanted to kick herself in the ass for it, but she couldn't change it now, and she was too ashamed to go back and change and apologize.

How could their love that they had had that morning, change? He had said he had loved her, she had told him that she had loved him. Now she had walked away, she was going to leave him on such bitter circumstances.

She didn't want to fall in love with him, not when she had to leave. Yet, she didn't want to stay when her family and all of her friends were still back home. It wasn't technicially her job, because she knew she could get something here. She wanted to leave hating him, that way when she finally left, it wouldn't be so hard to leave him. She'd rather leave hating him, then leave loving him, knowing she could never see him again, and that if she did, he'd be married to someone else, and be a father. It was too hard for her to bare.

Finally, the tears began to fall, rolling down her cheeks. The clouds above were becoming a dark shade of gray. She didn't know why she just didn't demand Jessie to drive her home. It was such a long walk back to the house, and she didn't have any money to call home on a payphone or to get a cab from town.

With her arms wrapped around her, she made the hike home, alone and feeling as if she had just destroyed the only happiness she had in the whole world.

° ° ° ° ° ° °

Jessie didn't know what to think. His mind was astray. He knew that Valene was lying when she had said that she wasn't in love with him. He could see it in her eyes. He was just angry that she wouldn't admit it. She was leaving the next day, and he wanted to stop her from leaving. He wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to have her for always. He didn't want to think of her with some other man, sleeping with another man, telling another man how much she loved him. He wanted to be the man she confessed her love to, the man whom she made love to.

As he finally pulled out onto the road, he noticed her, walking, shivering in the wind. He wanted to stop, to tell her that he had forgiven her for trying to cover up how she felt, but he was sure she was still angry at him. He didn't want to push her any farther away. He just knew he had to come up with something to keep her here. Only if he could make her forget about her flight, that maybe she'd stay. That she'd find out how much she did indeed love him, that she wanted to stay here. That this was the place where her life is, where it'll begin.

He tried not to look as he drove by her. His heart felt as if someone was clenching over it. He wanted to pull over, to ask her to come with him, that he'd take her home. Not this time. She didn't want to see him, or to be any part of him at this moment. She was afraid of her feelings and he had to give her time and some space. Not much time, and not much space.

He was getting frustrated with her and how she was dealing with her feelings. He wanted to chain her to his bed and tell her that she could never leave him. But, it was her decision.