Church Lady Interviews Prophet Man

I must explain this one. At another writer's site, klm2253 and I have been attacked because of what we write. One of the writers there asked Kevin to explain how being attacked for his faith made him feel. Thus evolved the story "Church Lady Interviews Prophet Man." The names Church Lady and Prophet Man were given to us in some rather unkind emails we received and we decided to use them in the interview. The first part delves into why I write as I do. The actual interview follows.

Church Lady entered the TV studio carrying a Bible. She had one in her dressing room and in her car. Still, she might need it for the interview. If not, she wanted to revisit that Bible verse she had read earlier. It was a good one! Already the verse had so spoken to her.

Church Lady wondered why others didn't wake before dawn, why they didn't read God’s word as they watched His world awake. For her, joy came from watching God’s world – the birds that sang God’s praises, the squirrels that seemed so happy to be alive.

Shaking her head to get back to the real world, Church Lady checked the dressing room for program changes. She adjusted her dress slightly, laughing. How conservative she had become.

She once wore bright flowered hip-hugger jeans. Being a teen Christian was fun. Church Lady remembered her youth group invading Greenwich Village. "We thought we could save the world." Night had fallen, and she guessed it was a good thing that the cops showed up to escort them out of the Village. The cops had been angry. What had they said? "What were you people thinking? This isn't a zoo where you are gazing at animals in cages!"

Back then, she thought the youth leaders were so old fashioned. But wasn't she a cookie-cutter image of that woman? Perhaps not in the color of her hair and features, but I the conservative way she dressed and acted and carried herself? What a thought.

Church Lady understood those who considered themselves Christians because they were raised in Christian homes or because they were good people. How easy it was to think that. There were 80 year olds in her church who had attended since birth. Rather than having a vital and active relationship with a living God, most of them came to church out of habit. How sad that made her feel.

Knowing how happy and refreshed her relationship with Jesus made her feel, she wanted everyone to experience it. "This world might be different if they could just understand," she thought. Sometimes, her quiet, "warm fuzzy" demeanor – in speaking and writing – came across as shouting. She wrote about that very thing, in "Whisper Writings, Whisper Prayers" . It was hard to control her exuberance. She loved God so much that she just wanted to shout from the rooftops. Much like she wanted to shout about her love for the Prophet Man. How happy they made her feel, her two loves, God and the Prophet Man.

Prophet Man came bounding into the studio, just like a kid. The skip in his walk that was so cute. "I wonder if I look like that?" she thought. The joy of the Lord shone through him. He glowed with happiness. Church Lady glanced in the mirror, and realized the laugh wrinkle Prophet Man spoke of (and kissed - see "Invalid Item" ) showed that she was full of that same joy. No wonder people thought they'd been married for years. They belonged together and were thankful that God had introduced them.

That was another thing people didn't understand. She had written a list of everything she wanted in a man only to find that Prophet Man had written those very things about himself. To some folks, that sounded weird. To her, it was an answer to prayer. Pure and simple. She had spent hours talking with God about her needs and wants. People would just not understand what was important to her – a man who prayed with her, who read the Bible with her daily, a man willing to work in ministry with her. Those were the important things, not whether or not he drove a big, fancy car. Could they not understand?

As Prophet Man prayed and read God’s word in the dressing room, Church Lady checked the set. A slight frown crossed her brow. Too bad they were being forced to do this interview. She wondered, again, if they'd ever be able to make people understand them – their joy and love of the Lord and each other.

They couldn't "turn it off." The family picture album boasted pictures of each kid being baptized. Those were festive times, as were confirmations. Most of her early memories were about family gatherings, school, or church events. That was life.

She sang in the kids’ choir, and her mom was always in charge of something at Vacation Bible School. Mom was also in charge of meals each week for the jr. high fellowship. Would they understand that Church Lady had been a member of three youth groups? Would they understand that she took two buses each Sunday night to one group - the same one that was kicked out of Greenwich Village? Church was a way of life for her.

It was much more than that, of course. She really came to know Jesus at the young age of 7. Jesus talked to her then and now. The occasions when she heard His audible voice weren't many, but she knew His voice when she heard it. There were other ways He spoke to her – directing her to the Bible for answers (or for questions), having someone call her with answers she sought, people who gave affirmations she'd sought from Him, or by answered prayers. Theirs had been an active relationship ever since she asked Jesus to be her Lord and Savior.

The Holy Spirit had been evident too. How else could she have understood the Bible – the King James version! – at such a young age. She amazed her teachers with questions she posed and the answers she gave to their questions.

Why couldn't they understand her anger, righteous anger, at being attacked for that relationship?!? How could people ask her to keep Jesus out of her writings or her conversations when He was such a part of her? Jesus was the only constant thing in her life. People who attacked her would come and go, but Jesus would always be there for her.

What made them think she would hide Him in a closet somewhere while she dealt with people problems? Leaving Jesus out of her writings or her spoken words would be like cutting off her right arm. How could they ask that of her? She'd gladly sacrifice for her Lord, but for them?

Where was Prophet Man? It was almost time for the interview. Butterflies danced in her stomach. Facing the camera, facing the world and telling them these kinds of things would be difficult for him.

How Church Lady longed for days gone by. As a kid, each of her friends went to church. Some were Lutheran, some Catholic, some Methodist. The entire neighborhood was deserted from early morning through noon or beyond on Sundays and again on Sunday evenings.

Many of her childhood friends had ministries in their own churches. A few were pastors. Their mothers would have been proud of them, had they lived.

Prophet Man’s footsteps were heard coming down the hall. What was he whistling? "Oh, how I love Jesus, Oh how I love Jesus, Oh how I love Jesus, because He first loved me." She loved that hymn, and if they hadn't motioned her to the set, she would have started singing. They might have stood there on the set, arm in arm, and harmonized. Another time.

Church Lady and Prophet Man sat down in chairs facing each other. The make-up people patted their foreheads as the camera man waved them out of the way, "Three, two, one..."

"Good evening, Timbuktu. I'm Church Lady, and with me tonight is Prophet Man. We've arranged this interview with him so he can try to explain how he feels when his faith is attacked. But that will have to wait. First, we're going to hear the group, God’s Gospel Gang, singing "There is Power in the Blood." We'll be back with Prophet Man’s response in just a few minutes."

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The camera man again begins the count, "Three, two, one..."

"We're back folks and ready to begin that interview."

Church Lady: Prophet Man, there are many questions our viewers would like to have answered, but our time here is rather short. I hope we can satisfy their curiosity and concerns. We've heard it mentioned that you were once a Catholic. When and how did that change?

Prophet Man: When I was fifteen I signed up for the priesthood at Divine Word Seminary at a retreat on beautiful Canisus Lake. I did not wake up on Saturday morning easily enough, so one of the seminarians clobbered me over the head with a Bible. I wanted to see what was in the book that hit me. This was my first introduction to HEAVY literature. As I read the Bible I was filled with questions and I searched until I found answers.

Church Lady: We've also heard you mention that you were healed. Does that have anything to do with the zeal and love you have for our Lord?

Prophet Man: It has everything to do with it, but not at first. I was introduced to the fact that I was a sinner going to hell, and I wanted no part of that. A Baptist lady named Anna May Zeigler, who was a coworker of my mother at a nursing home, talked with me. The healings I have received were so dramatic that they verified the word spoken to me by my mom’s friend.

Church Lady: You've written stories about being slain in the Spirit, about ministering to people in the streets, about answers to prayer. Were all of these true stories? And did they happen to you personally?

Prophet Man: Yes they did, Church Lady, every one is a true and real story that happened to me or someonee close to me. I won't write one that is not true. People need to hear that THERE IS A REAL AND ALIVE God who wants to hear their prayers. They want something to cling to, to believe in.

Church Lady: Is it true you believe that God has called you to write?

Prophet Man: Yes. I have so many things upon my heart to tell people, that I don't know where to start. Sometimes they burn within me like a rushing torrent of molten answers to prayer, and hopefully everyone who reads them on the net will realize that they can do the same thing that I am doing for Jesus.

Church Lady: Recently you've been viciously attacked for your beliefs, and for the way you present your beliefs. One friend asked how those attacks made you feel. I'm wondering as well, was the anger you demonstrated and articulated to your attackers done because they made you feel badly about your faith? Or was that anger more because you felt they were attacking Jesus as much as they were attacking you? Give us some idea of what was going through your head and your heart as you read the comments directed at you.

Prophet Man: First of all, I don't understand why they thought I was feeling better than anyone else. I have strong beliefs I admit; yet they can always NOT READ my stuff. For those who disagree with my beliefs I say more power to you. I am more confused, to say the least, about their reaction, especially one writer's reaction. He seems to feel that I have spoken incorrectly about my experiences. He also gives me the impression that because he reads theology sermons that he is somewhat of an expert in theology. One of his favorite authors is from Tubigen, Germany, where they are noted for their liberal school of theology. These folks don't believe in anything of the supernatural or healings, etc. My experiences, though, are real. They happened.

Church Lady: I see. So mostly you are confused at the reactions of others about what you write and say. Is it true that you received, just yesterday, an email threat on your life, as a result of one of your stories posted here or on another writer’s site? What was your response to that email?

Prophet Man: Yes I did. I asked him to state why he had a problem with me. He hasn't written back to me. His name is Jack and he lives in Texas.

Church Lady: I must say my reaction to a threat of having my person hurt would have been much different than yours. I would have taken that email right to the police department. Disagreeing with my point of view is one thing. Threatening me with bodily harm is quite another! How do you normally respond to people who believe differently than you?

Prophet Man: If they disagree with me, I might not say anything at all...to them. To my Father? Well, that is a different story. I ask Him for wisdom and advice. I used to be a real in-your-face kind of guy. It is now easier, and definitely more effective to just pray for them.

Church Lady: Prophet Man, would you join me in praying for these fine folks at Timbuktu?

Prophet Man: Father, in Jesus name I ask that you bless all of my detractors with your presence. Bring them to a place where they would be willing to see you so intimately that their hearts may sense a quickening of your Spirit within them. Give them zeal, because of this quickening, to preach your Gospel to anyone who will listen to them. Let those who persecute Christians now share in the evangelistic zeal that is crisscrossing the earth right now at this very moment. Because Jesus has died for all men’s sake, let them be enthralled at the new relationship you want to give them this very day. AMEN.

Church Lady: Well, there you have it folks. Prophet Man admits that that mostly he's just confused at the reactions some have to what he writes or says about Jesus. He also admits that his usual reaction to those who disagree with him is to pray. For further discussion with Church Lady or Prophet Man, please feel free to use the email addresses found on our profiles at Writing.Com or PearlSoup.com, where we are known as Kenzie and klm2253. Check those sites later for Prophet Man's latest writings, among them, "Better Than Anyone Else???...I Don't Think so!"

Camera fades out, then information about a local church event fills the screen as the music of "Our God Is An Awesome God" plays in the background.