I was in a depressed state of mind so I expressed my thoughts on paper.This is the result. |
I live my life to help others in need, life is about loving, caring - not fighting, bitterness and greed Day by day I try to make people happy and bring to their faces a smile, those I help are unaware that my own life is filled with loneliness, denial If only they knew how I felt; someway, somehow... I compliment them about their personality, their smile and sometimes their hair, but all my efforts go unnoticed, they don't even seem to care. I have a secret life, one which I do not wish to share with deep and disturbing emotions I do not dare to bare. I have gone through depressing times when my self esteem was low, If I had gone through with what I was thinking, would I go ...to Heaven or that dark and evil place down below? But I overcame my darkest moments and I came out with a new lease on life, was I going to miss the opportunity of having children and a loving wife? One great relationship has been and gone - now I feel alone, How can I go on living? I continue to whine and moan, There is no one that loves me. I have given up trying, feeling of happiness and love have been replaced by thoughts of loneliness and dying. I have given up on life, there is no use for me here But dying without knowing what true love is; that's my greatest fear If I died tomorrow, would anyone even cry? What's the difference of living this life or the alternative choice to die? I feel lost, confused and depressed; even slight thoughts of suicide, but these thoughts cannot escape; there's nowhere to run and hide Why can't people love me? What's wrong with me? I can give what any woman wants, although I have little success or money. But looks should not be important, for I have a kind and sensitive heart, Why judge on looks? When women look for guys, I don't even get a start. That is why I am lonely, upset and somewhat sad, when I find what true love is, I will be feeling much more than "just glad" For I need companionship; someone to hug and be there with me, Why doesn't anyone care? All I want in life is to feel loved and happy. |