Why DO I Worry?

Why DO I Worry?
By Marilyn Mackenzie Williamson


I was reminded last week that God is in control. Why do I forget this?

My knee was injured at work in March. I’ve had surgery and have been in physical therapy and exercising on my own to get my knee and leg muscles back in shape. Then a notice came from the worker’s compensation commission that I was scheduled for a "maximum medical improvement" evaluation. My attorney, my orthopedic surgeon and my physical therapist warned that the evaluation was a sign that the worker’s compensation office wanted to dump me from the system.

I’d like nothing more than to be back to normal again. But I also know that I’m still in pain and that my leg will not straighten nor bend entirely. What I could accomplish when I began therapy can be compared to what I can now accomplish, and anyone can see that I’ve improved. Still, I cannot stand on my feet for long, and walking up and down stairs causes excruciating pain.

The thought of the worker’s compensation people wanting to dump me from the system angered me. What made me even angrier was that they scheduled a foot doctor – a Podiatrist – as the one who would decide my fate. Why couldn’t they get a knee specialist to evaluate my progress and potential for more future improvements?

When I questioned the worker’s comp. folks about sending me to a foot doctor rather than a knee specialist, I was told that I had no choice in the matter. If I chose not to go, my weekly pay benefits would be cut off, as would my medical assistance.

They informed me that the selection was done the same way for everyone. The doctors were listed in a specific order and were contacted to see if they had appointment times that matched the commission’s requirements. If a doctor couldn’t see me in that time frame, the next doctor on the list was consulted, until they found one who could.

I questioned having to drive 60 miles for this evaluation as well, since there were doctors within 15 miles who specialized in knee problems. Couldn’t one of those be selected? Again, I was reminded of the rotation process of selecting doctors. Someone in Houston could be asked to drive to my area. And someone where I live could be asked to drive to Houston.

Since my car overheats when I have to drive the 15 miles to my doctor’s office, the worker’s compensation folks paid for my taxi ride to the doctor they selected. The foot doctor. The round trip cost for them was $300.

This whole process made me feel like a puppet on a string. Others have decided when and where and how my knee should be treated or evaluated. But last week, I was reminded that it’s really God in control. And He has been all along.

My doctor and physical therapist are Christian, as are many in their offices. They were all praying for me and for my visit to the foot doctor. My friends and family and my church family were all praying as well. And, of course, my own prayers joined those of my friends, family and medical personnel.

When I arrived at my appointment, I learned that the Podiatrist was just as upset as I was. He hadn’t been working with worker’s compensation patients very long. He had seen a number of knee and hip patients, but had not yet seen a foot patient. It made the doctor wonder if they just assumed, since he wasn’t a knee or hip specialist, that he’d miss something and send patients back to work prematurely. He believed that was what the worker’s compensation folks hoped.

Because I’d postponed my appointment, the foot doctor had time to consult with a colleague about my condition. And, because the foot doctor was also a Christian, he prayed for God’s guidance.

He put me through a number of exercises to evaluate the movement of my knee and leg. He spent time with me, explaining the procedures and the operation I’d had even better than my own doctor.

He informed me that my knee would never be as good as new. He told me that since I’d had part of my kneecap shaved away, that I would be due some compensation when it was decided that I’d reached "maximum medical improvement." He also told me that I had not yet reached that point, and that at least another six to eight weeks of physical therapy were needed.

The foot doctor, who was just as concerned about seeing knee patients as I was about visiting him, also informed me that he would insist in doing the next evaluation. He felt that since he’d done this first evaluation and ordered more physical therapy, that he should be the one to evaluate me again, once the therapy was completed.

As I turned to leave, the doctor reached for my hand and offered a simple prayer for my condition. And I was reminded that God is, indeed, in control.

When will I ever learn? Why DO I insist on worrying?