The Enchanted Forest

Can Sticks rescue the damsel, slay the dragon, and get the prize? Read to find out.

          Sticks walked through the enchanted forest. He had to find Fairy. Sticks remembered all that had passed after Iokolo kidnapped Fairy.

          Mandy had cried in a corner while Delfina tried to console her. Red Robin Hood had humbly requested Sticks to travel to the Enchanted Forest and rescue her daughter from the evil Iokolo. After asking why Red Robin Hood couldn’t go herself, Sticks had grimly agreed. Too bad he didn’t stick around to hear the hoots of laughter that followed.

          Sticks wondered again if this was another one of their customs or tricks. Red Robin Hood and Her Merry Crew were an odd lot of fairies. Their bazaar ways puzzled him to no end. Upon remembering Red Robin Hood’s humbleness, Sticks thought better of himself. If Red Robin Hood was serious, so was the situation.

          Sticks stopped by a large tree and studied his map. It was the right one. Sticks pulled the lowest branch and dropped down into a hole. He landed on his feet. Living with the freaks had paid off after all. He looked around.

          He was in a dimly lit cave under the tree. A tunnel was in the wall to the right, directly beneath the tree’s roots. Sticks decided to investigate. He drew his sword from its plain, wooden scabbard and stalked through the tunnel, slashing shadows. Then, he heard a strange noise. Sticks pressed himself against a wall and peered around a curve. He waited until the noise was just around the curve, then he pounced.

          Fairy caught the blade in her glowing hand. Sticks dumbly stared at Fairy until she snapped,” Stop staring, dummy, and get your grimy sword out of my hand.” Sticks promptly removed his “grimy” sword. Fairy went back to listening to her walkman. Sticks glanced at his sword and then at Fairy. Then, Sticks raised his sword at her. Fairy removed her earphones and said sarcastically, “What are you waiting for? A kiss?” Sticks narrowed his eyes and said,

          “I know it’s you, Iokolo. Stop trying to hide. Where’s Fairy?” Fairy laughed hysterically and when she settled down, she said,

          “Stop fooling around, Picky Sticky. Let’s go before my brother wakes up.” Sticks pushed his sword against Fairy’s throat. Fairy eyed the sword and then said, “Inferior human, I suspect that you’re trying to get back at me.”

          “You suspect right. I came all this way, expecting you to be trapped in a bottle or something, and you’re waltzing out, by yourself. You didn’t need my help, I could be sunning myself on the deck right now.”

          “Typical human thing to say. I’m not waltzing out, I’m walking out and I didn’t ask you come,” Fairy pointed out. “Besides, you should just be happy that I’m all right. Your concern is touching. Listen, we have to--” Fairy broke off as something big came bounding through the tunnel. She sighed and put her hand on her head. Sticks eyes went wide with fright when he saw the creature stop beside Fairy. “Sticks, this is my half brother and captor, Iokolo.”

          “Nice to meet cha. Nice to meet cha. Nice to meet cha,” the troll sang in a singsong voice. Fairy rolled her eyes and then smacked him across the head. “Hey!” the creature exclaimed and then it growled at Fairy.

          “Oh, grow up,” Fairy said. Sticks was cowering in a corner. “Uh, Sticks?” Fairy asked as she poked at his back. “Don’t be afraid little half human. The only way he’d harm you was if he annoyed you to death.” Sticks stood up and held his sword at the ready. He didn't trust Fairy’s psycho family so much that he ignored the insult, making a mental note to get her for that later.

          “RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR,” Iokolo roared.

          “AAAAHHHH!” Fairy screamed. “He’s going to hurt me.” Fairy turned fear filled eyes on Sticks. “Please save me,” she whispered. She seemed so sincere, that Sticks forgot about all the tricks she had played on him in the past.

          “Leave her alone, you beast! THIS, is my sword that I’m about to use to chop off your villainous head! Your fight is with me now!” Sticks prepared to charge the beast but stopped when he noticed it was laughing. “You won’t be laughing after my blade pierces you!”

          “Ahhh! You messed it up, Iokolo. One would think that you were half human,” Fairy scolded.

          “Well, I was turned into a troll,” Iokolo offered.

          “Nothing is dumber than a human.”

          “We pulled the trick off though. You saw him shaking in his breeches.”

          “Yes. Tee hee.” Fairy’s laughter was like bells, a contrast to her brothers deep, snorting laughter.

          “Hey!” Sticks yelled. Fairy and Iokolo suspended their laughter. Fairy grabbed Sticks sword from his hand and imitated him,

          “Leave her alone, you beast! THIS, is my sword that I’m about to use to chop off your villainous head! Your fight is with me now!” Iokolo stifled his giggles and began to shake,

          “Oh no, Sticks. Please don’t harm me,” he pleaded before Fairy’s and his laughter ruined the game. Sticks face had turned blood red. Fairy looked at Sticks, stopped laughing, pointed Sticks out to Iokolo, and than started laughing again, even harder.

          “I HATE YOU PIXIE AND TROLL!” Sticks stormed back down the tunnel. He was so mad, that he didn’t even fly. He didn’t want to be associated with pixie’s anymore. Curse his mother, Fairy, and all the other pixies in the world. He muttered to himself all the way, his fury blinding him. When he reached the end of the tunnel, Fairy was waiting for him. Sticks turned to go but stopped per Fairy’s request to hear her out. He turned away from Fairy, crossed his arms across his chest, and began counting off seconds. Fairy had five minutes.

          “Sticks, you can’t really be mad can you?” Fairy said in a sweet as honey voice. “I mean, we didn’t harm you in any way.” Fairy waited for Sticks’ response; there was none. She moved in front of him. “Sticks, I’m really sorry,” she said looking up at him with her big sorrowful eyes. Sticks tried to ignore her, so she began to cry. Sticks couldn’t resist. She seemed so sorry that it was sad. He felt he had to comfort her.

          “It’s alright Fairy. It was my fault. Don’t worry, I still care about you, as if you were my own sister.”

          “Really?”

          “Absolutely.” Fairy gave him a hug, dried her eyes, and said,

          “Yay! Let’s go. That really was very funny, human.” Fairy had a huge grin on her face as she flew up through the hole.

          “Dang it!” Sticks had been duped again. He could never resist her charm; she was just too cute, the little sister he never had. “Dang pixie,” he muttered as he flew after her.


          When they were outside in the forest, Sticks found Fairy chatting with a squirrel. Sticks waited patiently.

          “Looks like we’ve got another mission,” Fairy said. “We must slay the dragon.”

          “Lead the way,” Sticks replied, forgetting the previous ruse.

          “No tricks, Sticks,” Fairy said softly, a small smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye, before she led the way through the Enchanted Forest.

          Now that he was free to take in his surroundings, Sticks noticed that the Enchanted Forest looked remarkably like a normal forest. Birds chirped from sun-up to sundown. The floor was littered with leaves and holes. Squirrels peeked at them from up in the trees, and the moss grew on the North side of the trees.

          At dusk, they stopped in a circular clearing. Fairy was hungry.

          “Why are we stopping?” Sticks asked.

          “Dinner time,” was Fairy’s answer.

          “What the—“ Sticks began but stopped when he noticed that Fairy wasn’t listening to him. She was flitting about the clearing and mumbling to herself.

          “Having a nice conversation with yourself?” Sticks asked mean spiritedly, remembering that he was mad at her for something. Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember what it was.

          “Are you?” Fairy countered. “I know you can’t be talking to me because I’m talking to Sir Giggles Allot.”

          “Sure,” Sticks replied skeptically. Moments later, Sticks’ smirk was turned upside down when Sir Giggles Allot gave him an atomic wedgie. “I believe you,” Sticks managed to squeak. Fairy shrugged her shoulders and then continued with what she was doing. She pulled a branch and three tiny sprites fell out of the plant.

          “Why, hello there,” Fairy greeted them, all smiles. “I’m famished and I suspect that my companion here is too. Would you mind getting us some food?”

          “No problem, Fairy. Your mother is our benefactor.”

          “I’ll pass along your thanks.”

          “Thanks.”

          “Your welcome.”

          Sticks had no idea how the sprites managed it, but soon, a huge feast was spread out throughout the clearing. Fairy daintily dug in. As a full-blooded fairy, she ate like a sparrow. Sticks was only half pixie; the rest of him was human. Sticks thanked the sprites and then dug in. He stuffed himself until he couldn’t eat another bite. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to walk again, much less fly. Fairy finished much before him and went to sleep.

          Sticks’ full bladder woke him up in the middle of the night. The banquet had been cleared, and he and Fairy had been covered with blankets. Sticks had to go bathroom, bad. He rushed from the clearing and found a bush. He rested his arm on a tree trunk and several things happened. First, the tree trunk tipped over. It pulled a string which caused a hidden door to open. When the tree hit the ground, it hit a button which caused a cart to come careening down a track which was hidden beneath the leaves. Then, Sticks looked down and saw that he was on the track, but it was too late to do anything. The cart hit him, he fell in, and it carried him through the secret door. Last, the door closed, pulling the string, which pulled the tree back up.

          Sticks managed to get upright in the cart. The track twisted, turned, and dipped. It even went upside down once. Sticks closed his eyes and held on for dear life until he realized that the cart had stopped. Sticks slowly opened his eyes, first one, then the other. He quickly closed them again when he saw the ferocious, fire-breathing lizard standing over him. It was even big to a full human.

          “Another knight come to challenge me,” it roared.

          “Do I look like a knight?” Sticks asked, irritated.

          “Not really. You’re a little on the small side.” Indecision was etched on the dragon’s face. It paused and then snapped, “Stop trying to avoid the question,” suddenly furious.

          “But I’m not even as big as a knight’s hand! I have wings, for Mother Earth’s sake! Having two legs, a sword, and human ears doesn’t make me a knight. Maybe you’re a knight…” Sticks countered.

          “Do I look like a knight?”

          “I don’t know, do you?”

          “Do you?”

          “I asked you first.”

          “No I asked you first and I asked you another question that you still haven’t answered.” The dragon sneered and then sat back and crossed its arms across its chest.

          “No,” Sticks said in a high voice that he didn’t even know he had. “I didn’t come to challenge you. I came to use the bathroom!” he whined and jumped out of the cart as he remembered his crisis. He ran around with a funny hop-step, looking for a bathroom. “Bathroom,” he cried. “Bathroom, bathroom.” The dragon eyed him for a while with a funny look on its face, and then it started to laugh. Sticks paid no attention to the dragon’s laughs. He really had to go bathroom. This made the dragon laugh all the more. Sticks stopped and listened. Somewhere, a toilet had just been flushed. Sticks flew up and grabbed the dragon by its neck. “Where’s the bathroom?” he demanded.

          “Over there,” the dragon finally managed to say between fits of laughter as he pointed to some rocks. Sticks dashed to the rocks and started dancing in front of them. “Come on, come on,” he pleaded. The dragon roared with laughter. Sticks began banging his head against the rocks.

          “What are you doing, creep?” Fairy asked as she walked out from behind the rocks.

          “HAHA. You slay me. HAHAHA. I’m dying of laughter. Snort, snort. HAHAHA. Stupid human. HAHAHA,” the dragon roared.

          “Wow, you slayed the dragon, Sticks. How’d you know how?” Fairy said happily. “Sticks?” Fairy turned around and then quickly turned around again when she saw Sticks, peeing on the cave well. “STICKS!” The dragon laughed harder.


          When the dragon managed to stop laughing, he served Fairy and Sticks a hot breakfast. Every time it looked at Sticks, its eyes would light up and it would stifle a giggle. Sticks ignored the dragon. He didn’t know what was so funny; he really had to go. When they finished breakfast, Sticks and Fairy prepared to go. Fairy gave the dragon a friendly reminder,

          “Remember, according to the rules of Dragon Fu, you can’t terrorize any more people. You admitted that Sticks slayed you.”

          “But he’s half pixie—“

          “And he’s half human too. Half humans count. Why do you think we keep him around? Certainly not for his brain.”

          “Well,” the dragon said blushing, “Sticks can slay me any day.” Now, it was Sticks’ turn to blush.

          “Grrr,” he growled. “You know I’m right here, right?”

          “Here, take my little Bonfire with you. I heard that your mother, Red Robin Hood, works with Ember, the master crafts sprite. I’m sure she could use Bonfire’s help,” the dragon went on, ignoring Sticks.

          “Why, thank you,” Fairy said as she gave the dragon’s finger a hug. She picked little Bonfire up in her arms. He wasn’t called little Bonfire for nothing. Bonfire rode in Fairy’s arms as they waved farewell to the dragon and went on their way.


          After traveling half the day, Fairy stopped at a likely looking tree. She pulled a little leaf and nothing happened. Sticks, who had been holding his breath, let it out in a rush and sighed. No more holes, tricks, or carts.

          “Sticks, I’d move if I were you.”

          “Huh?” Sticks looked at Fairy just as a dwarf came flying out of the ground, directly in front of him. He fell over backwards. The dwarf landed in front of Fairy.

          “What do you want?” it asked in a gruff voice. Sticks lay panting on the ground.

          “We came to try for the prize. We’re going to need it when the Light Avenger comes. Perhaps Sticks is the one to defeat him.” Sticks puffed his chest out with pride. Fairy had finally complimented him.

          “I’m ready. Do your worst, troll,” he said in a macho voice.

          “I’m a dwarf, you goblin.”

          “Dwarf, I’m a pixie/human hybrid,” Sticks said, melodramatically. The dwarf gave Sticks a dry look and said,

          “It shows.” It turned to Fairy and continued, “Obtain the grill from inside that temple and the prize is yours.”

          Sticks investigated the temple. It looked safe enough. It was just your typical, run of the mill, creepy ancient temple. Sticks stepped inside. When he looked back out the door where Fairy was, she was gone, along with the dwarf.

          “It shows,” he muttered in a mocking tone to himself while making a face, then continued on his way. He flew through the curvaceous entrance and into a large room. He looked around. In the middle of the room, a banquet was spread out on several long, rectangular tables. Sticks’ mouth watered.

          “FOOD!” he screamed and raced to the tables. He picked up the biggest plate he could find and began loading it with as much food as he could while he stuffed the rest in his mouth. He completely forgot his mission. Then, a spear flew across the room, scarcely missing Sticks’ head.

          “Hmm?” Another one came, which would have gone straight through him if he hadn’t moved his head. Sticks ran with his mouth full as the spears picked up pace. Halfway across the room, he realized that he had forgotten his plate. He flew back to get it and then soared to the other side of the room, still dodging the spears. They were pretty fast if they could keep up with a pixie, even a half one. He found a door hidden in the wall and dived through. Sticks gave a sigh of relief.

          “EEEEE! I’m sorry!” He screamed as he noticed the pit of lava and the receding floor line. He quickly jumped onto a barrel floating in the middle. He had dodged a bullet there, but there was something wrong. Sticks sat cross-legged on the barrel to think.

          “Hmmm. Lava. Check. Barrel. Check. No floor. Check. So what’s wrong?” That’s when Sticks noticed the giant eye watching him.

          “AAAAA!” Sticks flew across the lava. He slid through the door and then closed it. He leaned against it but this time he was ready. He extracted his sword from its scabbard and held it at the ready as he carefully scrutinized the room. It was empty except for a grill in the middle of the room, but Sticks wasn’t going to fall for it. He remembered this set up from tomb raiding class. Sticks drew and threw his dagger at the grill, knocking it off the stone column. Then, he ducked and waited for the giant beast, or the cave in, or the hidden, creepy guards. Nothing happened.

          “Drat.” The one time he was ready, nothing bad happened. Sticks grabbed the grill and left by doing what he did to get in backwards.


          When he got outside, Fairy was outside waiting for him with Bonfire. The dwarf was nowhere in sight and Fairy was sharing her Walkman with little Bonfire.

          “I got the grill! Where’s the dwarf? I want the prize.”

          “You have it in your hand.” Sticks looked down at his hands. One hand was empty and the other contained the grill. He looked up at Fairy, puzzled. “The grill!”

          “This? Why do you need it when the Light Avenger comes? How is this going to help me defeat him?”

          “It won’t help you defeat him. The grill is so we can make dragon flame broiled burgers. My father, the Light Avenger loves them. Now that we have little Bonfire,” Fairy nodded at Bonfire, “to provide the dragon flame, we just needed a grill that could stand it.” Fairy nodded at the grill.

          “You mean you put me in mortal danger so you could have some burgers?” Sticks’ voice was angry.

          “No. You put yourself in mortal danger, mortal. I didn’t force you to go, you know. You chose to go. Of course, I would have put myself in mortal danger for the chance of dragon flame broiled burgers. They are not ‘burgers.’ They’re dragon flame broiled burgers, the best food in the world.” Sticks put his hand on his head, sighed, and followed Fairy and Bonfire out of the Enchanted Forest.