Feeling Numb

There are times I feel nothing and know no one understands.
What I feel like is nothing.
I sit blankly at a screen or a television waiting for something to change.
Emotionally, I am empty.
All I want to do is sleep or stare at the walls.
Human contact is not wanted.
All I really want is to be left alone because people and things just cloud my mind with images I cannot even understand while so deeply depressed.

I once would self-harm but learned quickly that even that is unacceptable so I learned to write and write until I either feel or go beyond numbness -- if that is possible.

Recently the pain in the recovery of my knee surgery has left has kept me from numbness.
My opinion has always been that pain is better than no emotion or feeling at all.

For now I will take what I can get! As long as it is not numbness because then I know I am in trouble. Depression and numbness scares me tremendously.