You Are Not Alone

This letter was written to someone who just lost their father and felt they could no longer write because their words would be of "doom, gloom and sadness."
This letter is shared here with "everyone" as a way to touch the sad, lonely people in my reading/writing world. I hope that my words, in some way, will help you, whoever you are, know that, "you are not alone."


Dear ......,

I have found that writing what I feel, even if it is doom, gloom and sadness, is a form of release. Releasing your emotions into written word (even if you don't like that they are gloomy) is better then holding your sadness inside. Holding your sadness inside can eat away at you, making you feel steadily worse.

We have a wide range of emotions. Some of the emotions have to deal with that we do not like. Some that we should not have to deal with, but our situations cause us to deal with these things (such as people who do not understand what writing does for a person). Please, write. Even if you have no one to share it with, write anyway.

At one of my darkest times, I wrote words that were "doom and gloomy", but for months, I did not like them, didn't want my words to come out that way. Holding them in, made me sick, sick in body and soul. My heart was breaking, not only with what life had giving me to deal with, but I was causing myself heartache by not writing what I felt. When I did write it down, crying as I wrote, not just silent tears, but sometimes deep, chest hurting tears that seemed to never stop, I found that even when nothing else seemed like it would ever go right again, I could deal with things better, having released my emotions into written word.

I know that while we are in despair, we feel no one else has ever felt the way we feel. Others have and understand. They care. Writing.Com and the people here, even the ones that don't know me, helped me hold on and deal with what life had given me to deal with. I am still dealing with it, every day, but I know now I am strong enough, to deal with it and I "am" important to me.

Even when I did not like what I wrote, didn't want to share my sadness with others, I would read. Read and know that there are others that understand. You can feel it in the words that they write. Knowing that others understand, gave me strength to hold on and fight my way out of my darkness. It still waits, wanting to pull me back down, but I fight it, by caring about others, caring about me, and writing whatever I feel.

I care about you, never having met you or talked to you before now. I know it hurts that your 'father' is gone, but your love for him, his love for you, is something that will not die. He knows that you are sad. My father knows that I miss him every day. I have missed him every day for twenty years. He never met the man I married. He never held my babies. He is not able to hold me when I need my Daddy, even as an adult. I still cry, but I know he is not in pain, and he is here with me, watching over me, loving me, and I can talk to him without ever opening my mouth. He hears me from my heart and soul.

My ex-husband demeaned me, telling me that I was never good enough, could never do anything right. Called me stupid. Thought my writing was stupid. His treatment of me cause me to have very low self-confidence. I still struggle with it daily. That small voice still questions if I really am "stupid" when things go wrong.

Here are some of my words, written in my feeling of doom, gloom and sadness, that even followed me into my dreams, making them nightmares....

"Something"  [13+]

"Am I Still Dreaming?"  [13+]

"my heart broke"  [13+]

"The Smell Of Sawdust"  [13+]

Do not feel that you have to read these. I am sharing them so that you know, that I do understand and that I care. "You" are not alone.

(((hug)))