Fortunately/Unfortunately

Unfortunately, as he walked and walked and walked, he found himself all the way in North Korea and got gobbled up by Kim Jung Un. (deemac )

Fortunately, being gobbled UP is better than being gobbled DOWN. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Unfortunately, the one being gobbled up, may be unsettling to the gobbler's stomach. (ElizabethHayes-DaughterofIAM )

Fortunately, Kim Jong-Un heard about it and promptly marched Kim Jung Un to the South Korean border, knocked on their door and hastily ran away before they saw him! (Petra Pansky )

Unfortunately, the fat fu...oops,sorry. Unfortunately, the fat dictator was only able to run ten yards before he suffered pulled hamstrings in both legs. (Bobby Lou Stevenson )

Fortunately, the fat fu...oops,sorry, the fat dictator just knew his heroes, John Wayne and Elvis Presley, would be along any time now and rescue him. They'd let him down before, being dead, but he knew this time would be different! (Dad )

Unfortunately, they were going to let him down again. They were expelled from Angel Class for shooting spit balls and thus were busy serving their penance. (Petra Pansky )

Fortunately, their penance was to be served on earth, specifically in Korea. (Dad )

Unfortunately, letting DOWN was worse than letting UP. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Fortunately, John & Elvis were geographically challenged and ended up atop Angel Falls in Venezuela. (Petra Pansky )

Unfortunately, they were seen there. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Fortunately, no one recognized them. (Dad )

Unfortunately, the ghost of Old Shep was padding by and stopped to pee on Elvis's blue suede shoes. (deemac )

Fortunately, blue suede shoes are naturally pee-repellant due to their inherent characteristics of blueness and suedity. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Unfortunately, just as Elvis was breathing a sigh of relief at the pee-repellence of his blue suede shoes, John Wayne's horse stepped on them. (deemac )

Fortunately, Big Blondie didn't recognize John Wayne. Why is this fortunate? Simply because had he recognized The Duke, he might not have...er,ah, *ahem* "explained" to John Wayne's horse that it is "unkind", or perhaps "rude" to step on blue suede shoes (Dad )

Unfortunately, when translated into the neigh-neigh language that horses understand, the words 'unkind' and 'perhaps rude' have a completely different meaning. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

it didn't matter in the end. The horses ran away. The pond dried up and the village was abandoned. (Annette )

Unfortunately, when horses run away, it is very difficult to catch them as they run really fast. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Fortunately, that’s a thumbs up for the horses. (Bobby Lou Stevenson )

Unfortunately, Girth Blinkers, the jockey on the leading horse, fell off into a ditch and had to be admitted to hospital with his right thumb stuck up his nose. (deemac )

Fortunately, Dr. Thomas "Thumbs" Fingers, an ear nose throat and hand specialist, was on rotation at the hospital and was (giggle) on hand to examine Girth Blinkers. After an extensive exam, Dr. Fingers was ready to deliver the diagnosis (Dad )

Unfortunately, his other thumb was still stuck up his horse's nose, who was fast asleep in the next bed. (deemac )

Fortunately, the horse's head was still attached to the horse's body! (Dad )

Unfortunately, the head was not amused at the situation. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Fortunately, they managed to pull out the thumb, though it was a long process which stretched the horse's nostril by an inch or two. Why is that fortunate, you ask? Well, next time out, the horse won the Kentucky Derby by a nose. (deemac )

Unfortunately, the horse, whose name is Schnozzola, was disqualified because Dr. Fingers used an illegal substance to lengthen Schnozzola's nose. Dr. Fingers did a facepalm when he was caught. The 2nd place finisher named facepalm, became the winner. (Dad )

Fortunately, Schnozzola and Facepalm fell in love and married. They had a nice little stable of their own in which they raised several little foals. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Unfortunately, one of the foals, Box of Rox, learned the hard way to do the facehoof gently!. The veterinarian thought the dent in his forehead might heal, but he wasn't sure how long it would take. (Dad )

Fortunately, Box of Rox was a foal, not a fool. He decided that heeling the vet's head would help with healing it. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Unfortunately, with all this tomfoalery going on in the stable, Schnozzola and Facepalm's stable relationship became more and more unstable until one night, Schnozzola packed her little haybag and bolted. (deemac )

Fortunately, it was the barn door that she bolted, and just in time, for there was a category 2 2/3 hurricane headed their way. (Petra Pansky )

Unfortunately, the hurricane hurried on with HAY HAY HAY, leaving no hay to eat or roll in. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Fortunately, 'tis an ill wind that blows no good. Hurricane Winnie left approximately 6 inches of rain (15 cm), just the amount the parched hay fields needed to grow a new crop And it replenished the nearly empty water troughs the horse family drank from (Dad )

Unfortunately, the horses grew hoarse drinking the cold water. (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Fortunately, the hoarse horses attracted the attention of a talent agent looking for bass singers. (Petra Pansky )

Unfortunately, the perch, the pike and the trout sang all sang bass, but the bass sang soprano. The talent agent left , dejected, still looking for a bass who sang bass. (Dad )

Fortunately, the agent plaiced an ad. The plaice who answered turned out to be flat, but it certainly sang with sole so he signed it up. (deemac )

Unfortunately, after three days the fish choir began to stink. (Bobby Lou Stevenson )

Fortunately, Emeril Lagasse knew exactly what to do with fish that began to stink. Some blackening seasonings, a hot cast iron pan, za hot stove, and BAM, perfection! (Dad )

Unfortunately, poor Emeril didn't notice that one stinker was a swordfish - (he'd sung the sharp notes in the choir) - and his sword overheated, flew outta the pan, and BAM, perforation! (deemac )

Fortunately, after the swordfish sword left a perfect perforation in his left earlobe, BAM, it perforated the wall behind Emeril, exposing a leaking water pipe he knew nothing about. The pipe was fixed without a problem. (Dad )

Unfortunately, everyone in Emeril's apartment block was wakened in the wee small hours by the screech of an Eightsome Reel tuning up . Seems Emeril's Scottish plumber, Angus McHandymon, had fitted one of his old bagpipe spares by mistake. (deemac )

Fortunately, Emeril was a secret bagpipe aficionado. So much so that he, Gordon Ramsay, Justin Wilson Graham Kerr and several other celebrity chefs formed a bagpipe band, and plan a world tour in 2025. (Dad )

Unfortunately, they've signed up Emeril's Scottish plumber, Angus McHandymon, as their bagpipe maintenance man. For insurance reasons, audiences are being advised to bring umbrellas. (deemac )

Fortunately, the umbrellas blocked the view of the stage, an important consideration when Gordon Ramsay's wild gyrations caused one of the pipes on his bagpipe to snag Angus's kilt, flinging it across the stage, answering what a Scotsman wears underneath (Dad )

Unfortunately, as the kilt landed on an old lady's lap, Angus's sporran jumped free and scuttled out the theatre door with Angus in hot pursuit. The old lady, who had just come round after seeing what a Scotsman wears under his kilt, fainted again. (deemac )

Fortunately, Angus's sporran scuttled down the street, across a highway, and down a hill to the beach, where it was spotted by Herbie Hermitcrab. Herbie was instamatically smitten, and immediately proposed marriage to the sporran. (Dad )

Unfortunately for Herbie, the sporran was already engaged to a haggis. (deemac )

Fortunately for Herbie, the haggis was secretly infatuated with a shepherd's pie. The sporan, named Spenelope, Herbie, Harriet the haggis and Sherman the shepherd's pie, sat down for a cold frosty one to discuss their disturbing love quadrangle. (Dad )

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