Helping Keep Down the Cost of Funerals

Funeral costs can range from expensive to really, really costly to outrageously cost-prohibitive. Well, how about these ideas to help pay for a funeral:

         Set up a flea market to sell the deceased's personal items, books, hobby items, clothing, etc.

         Sell T-Shirts that have the deceased's photo with a caption like, "I Knew Phil When He was Alive"

         Since the Widow(er) won't need all the room, entertain bids on their house; it is, after all, a sellers market now

         Have the kids (if any) of the deceased wash the funeral attendees' cars while they are in the service

         This would be a great place to hawk the deceased's self-published book; the widow(er) could autograph it

         Contract vendors to sell drinks and snacks to the attendees; widow(er) would get a cut of the profits

         Put collection jars with pictures of the kids near the casket; people could drop in their loose change as they view the deceased

         Hold a raffle for any really good items the deceased owned, that Moose Head hanging in the den, for instance

         Sell advertising space for banners to be hung at the funeral, for instance, "Wouldn't You Just Die for a Coke Right Now?"

         If the deceased had a bevy of suitors, sell "last kisses" for a couple bucks apiece at the viewing

         Sell Tour tickets to the deceased's house; be sure to leave it as the deceased lived in it and call it an historical tour

Using some or all of these ideas could easily defray a good portion of the funeral costs, and might even make the deceased a posthumous celebrity, thus, adding to his future worth. This could lead to book deals, a movie of the week and guest spots on the talk show circuit.