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Rated: ASR · Short Story · Contest · #863513
My entry to the J edition of the P's and Q's contest.
Vice President Cheney calmly surveyed the nation's capital through the tattered slats of the jalousie which George had damaged again, playing hide-and-seek with Jeb. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you to keep that little jackanapes out of my Oval Office," Cheney said in his commanding baritone, a voice that towered over George's uncertain Texas drawl. "It's bad enough we have to let him in here when he addresses the nation." Dick shuddered as his mind drifted to Bush's last address, as he uttered the word "nukular" under his breath. "Nukular, nukular, nukular..."

George had been even more uncertain lately, since the press had begun bandying around so many words that he had never heard before. "Mr. President," one member of the press had accosted him, "What do you say to certain critics who complain that many of your statements leading up to the war in Iraq reek of jingoism?"

"Excuse me," George shot back, "I will not stand here and have such terrible racial slurs hurled at me when I am trying to address the very important matter of this war on terrorism!"

"Now George," Dick told him during a secret meeting at George's ranch in Crawford, Texas shortly after the American occupation of Iraq. "There have been concerns raised about the junta currently stationed in Baghdad." As Dick went on to explain the situation to George, George was busy thumbing through his new pocket dictionary.

"Junta, junta, junta..." George muttered as he flipped through the dictionary, tearing quite a few pages as he did.

"George!" Dick shouted.

"JUNTA!" George shrieked in response.

"George, are you listening to me?"

"Oh sure, yeah sure. Go ahead Dick."

"Now, beyond those concerns, many people are still raising questions about the juridical aspects of our occupati-" George again began looking through the pocket dictionary. This time, however, Dick stood up, let out a long, labored sigh, and walked out the door.

"JUDICIAL, I got it!" George exclaimed and jumped to his feet with glee. "But wait, there aren't any courts in Iraq, Dick! Dick? Dick?"
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