Things NOT to do while pumping gas

Things NOT to do while pumping gas

Of course the choice is entirely up to you, but if I were you I would listen to me.

Today, we are all so busy multitasking that we forget that there are times when we should, no MUST pay close attention to exactly what we are doing. It is a fact that some things deserve our undivided attention. Pumping gas is one of them.

Do NOT talk on your cell phone. As a matter of fact leave the blasted creature in your vehicle. There are documented events of it being the cause of fires and explosions. Oh, yes. The slight electrical charge has been known to ignite gas fumes. Don’t let the many different companies that market the colorful varieties of cell phones deceive you - cell phones are not a fashion accessory. I don’t care how many different color faceplates or sizes the things come in.

A cell phone is a communications tool, and almost a necessity with today’s fast paced lifestyle, but everything these days has its down side. They are becoming an extension of our personality and part of the persona that we want to present to others as they observe us. Cell phone manufacturers sell us on this in every advertisement that is broadcast and flyers that are distributed in newspapers and magazines on a daily basis that depict the youngest, the prettiest, the coolest among us proudly displaying cell phones for all the world to see. That is all well and good; just don’t let yourself be seen answering or calling anyone on your cell phone while pumping gas.

Do NOT use the hands-free latch found on the gas nozzle, you lazy slug, and then start reading a book or magazine while mindlessly letting flammable liquid flow unattended. I have witnessed people who think they have figured out what that little latch attachment is meant to be used for, yes, you know the one that holds the gas trigger that enables you to pump gas hands free while you do something else. The majority of gas station owners have removed these little hands free triggers, and for good reasons. Most people automatically assume that man-made mechanical devices will always work exactly as intended. Can you see the problem with the aforementioned statement? If you cannot see the problem with that statement then consider yourself part of the problem, and not part of the solution.

Here are the clue words: automatically, assume, man-made, mechanical devices, always, work, exactly, and as intended.

Those words do not belong in the same sentence that refers to any situation that could be life endangering. If for some reason the latch does not release then the gas tank could overflow. Gas could be spilled, and depending on how long it was before you and your unsuspecting neighbors pumping gas at the surrounding pumps noticed that your latch did not release and the guy at the pump next to you is using his or her cell phone as a fashion accessory gets a call there could be a bigger more serious explosion.

To add insult to injury, you’ll probably be sued for destruction of property, and when was the last time you checked your automobile insurance policy to see if it covered blatant stupidity, yours and the person answering their phone while pumping gas? Who do you think the State Fire Marshall is not going to blame - the individual that spilled all the flammable liquid, or the person talking on a cell phone? Consider yourself warned. Don’t use the hands free latch and allow yourself to distracted or preoccupied while pumping gas.

Do NOT smoke. My daddy always said about people who smoked that there was “A fire on one end and a fool on the other.” If I have to explain this one to you take a copy of this article to your nearest State driver’s license bureau along with your license and ask them to explain it to you personally. I am sure the wonderful, delightful people there will know exactly how this situation needs to be handled.

The point of this whole article is to share the fact that sometimes it is appropriate and even advisable NOT to multitask. There are activities that we all engage in that require our undivided attention regardless of how mundane and routine the task at hand may seem. Be careful folks, it is a dangerous world we share.

This editorial was written as my response to the following article found on MSN’s homepage September 1st, 2004 with a bait line that read “What to do while you are pumping gas…"

http://autos.msn.com/volvo/article.aspx?contentid=4022283


The Critic is a freelance writer who often writes articles on subjects that are already being addressed on many of the most popular homepages and newspapers across the web and country. In this newly created series of articles titled, NOT MY ORIGINAL IDEA, but my take on what was said. The Critic hopes you find enough humor to remember what was written here and forget all about the other guy. It’s a dog eat dog world.


The Critic wrote this as serious entertainment.