I Should Have Said

I Should Have Said
by Marilyn Mackenzie


Dear Son,

So many words I should have said
When you were growing up.
So many things I should have shared
When you were just a pup.


Okay, so the "real me" is shining through at the very beginning. The mom with the weird sense of humor. And the little girl inside who still wants every poem to rhyme. But there really were so many things left unsaid.


I did the best I could, you know
When you were just a lad,
I tried to cover up my errs
With all the love I had.


I know, I know. Maybe when business seemed to be the focus of my life, you didn’t always feel loved and appreciated. But you were! Your old mom feels sorry for the words too often left unsaid. And the little girl still inside weeps for you too. How could I have forgotten the importance of hugs, when I wished for them myself?


Parenting should be show and tell.
Where were the instructions?
So many are the "should have beens."
Now you have my attention!


So, I guess I’m a slow learner? At least I admit it. And I want to change!


So, create for me a sculpture.
I’ll write for you a few words.
We’ll share the things that inspire us,
Like the flowers, trees and birds.


There I go again forcing a rhyme, huh? But not really. We do share a love of nature. Besides, I almost wrote, "I’ll write for you a verse" and considered ending the next line with the word "hearse." That would have been a forced rhyme. But not really.


I may not be ready to die today or tomorrow. But then again, one never really knows when an accident or illness will take us. I want to make up for all those words that should have already been said. There’s no better time than now to start sharing!


No more "woulda, coulda, shoulda’s"
No more might have beens.
We once sat and talked and shared;
It’s time we did again!


Hey kiddo, your mom is here for you. Last week when we spoke and your voice cracked, I knew then that there words you weren’t sharing either. Talk to me!


Once upon a yesteryear,
We used to share so much.
We can again, I’m sure of it,
If you’ll just stay in touch!


I miss you, son! Let me share some of the words I should have shared before. And you know what? Now that you’ve grown into a man of the world, you’ll have your own words of wisdom to share as well. I’m listening!