The Memory Of Her

This is a true story, a story that will forever be with me and I thank the young lady for the gift of her eternal memory. It was perhaps the most beautiful gift I have ever received.



Please forgive the P.O.V.or lack of dialogue, but I felt this was the best way to tell my story, through my memories of her. I’m not writing this for critique but for therapy, a way of letting others know that this beautiful soul once shared a piece of her heart with me





This is for my friend Dawn. I hope you like this story. It is completely true.




The summer of 1978 is a summer I shall always remember. I was a young man, well maybe not a man but I was sure on my way. It was the summer I had finally become a teenager,thirteen, unlucky thirteen, but not for me, ‘Oh no, not for me,’ I was about to discover feelings of the heart, true honest-to-god feelings of the heart. Little did I know these feelings would soar my heart to the greatest heights but also crush me leaving me feeling like my world had been yanked out from under me.

Tina, yes Tina, today this name remains my favorite of all female names. I guess that would go without saying being that Tina was the light of my summer. Her smile, her smell, they way she walked. Tina had no imperfections, the perfect ten. I know some people don’t believe a perfect ten actually exist, but try telling that to a thirteen year old who had just discovered his world in the eighteen year old girl next door.

Her beautiful long wavy auburn hair, her bright piercing cat-like green eye’s, her short slender but well proportioned body are etched in my mind forever.



Saturdays were lawn care days, part of my chores, a way to earn five dollars for the week. I would cut the lawn religiously at noon.

Every Saturday she would stop by and say hi, bringing with her a couple cans of Pepsi and carrying a towel that she would toss to me so I could wipe the sweat from my body.

I would cut the motor on the lawnmower push it to the side and follow her to our front porch where, as she would put it, ‘We would cop a squat,' I always being very shy, could never look her in the eyes for fear I would give away some secret feelings. Mostly I’d fidget and look at my feet as we sat there talking. I was never sure if she actually knew the effect she was having on me, and this made me very self conscious.

“I see your parents have the house up for sale.” Tina said.

“Yea, they’re looking for a bigger place. I guess they think I need more yard to cut.”

“I’m leaving for school in a few weeks. We may be spending our last days together.” She looked at me and smiled.

Obviously I looked to my feet immediately, finding it extremely hard to look into those gorgeous green eyes.

“Where you going to school?” I asked.

“Texas A&M, Corpus Christy, Texas.” She replied.

“Wow! That’s a very nice school.”

“Yea, but it’s so far away. I have never been away on my own before.” She said.

“You’ll be fine.”

“Sure I will, but I think I’ll miss my family and friends.” She said.

We finished our Pepsi, she stood to leave, out have habit she reached to muss the hair on the top of my head. This was something she would always do upon leaving. I hated it more than anything, it made me feel like such a boy and I wanted her to look at me as something more. I know it was silly feeling this way, she being five years my senior, but I couldn’t help having these feeling.She was beautiful.

I pulled away before she could get her hand into my hair.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, wearing a small smile.

I didn’t know if I should be honest, or just tell her everything was fine and leave it at that.

I knew there was a good chance we would never see each other after she left and felt I owed her an honest explanation no matter how hard it would be to say, not to mention silly.

I actually looked her in the eyes for the first time in my life and my heart melted.Her eye's were gorgeous and kind, the kind of eye's that made you feel like everything was right in the world. This was what one might call a tacit moment. A magical moment,at least for me.

I opened my mouth and a fountain of emotions cascaded out.

“This may sound silly, but I hate when you muss my hair.” My voice quivered as I spoke."You make me feel like a little kid when you do that.I think you’re the most beautiful women I ever met, not just because you're extremely pretty but your also very nice not just to me but everyone.
I wish I was five years older so you would look at me differently and like me for being me, not just your nice kid neighbor.”

Tina stood there and looked at me while I poured my heart out. She didn’t smile or try to comfort me. I noticed tears begin to well in her eyes. I stopped speaking thinking I hurt her feelings.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things. You’re always so nice to me, now I made you cry. I feel terrible.” And I did.

Tina shook her head from side to side. She wiped a hand under each eye drying the tears.

I didn’t know if I should step forward and offer a hug, or stay put and wait to see what she would do.

I didn’t have to do anything; Tina stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me.

I wasn’t sure if I should return the hug, so I stood there like a fool barely tapping my finger tips to her back, afraid to put my arms around her.

“It’s O.K,” she said. You can hold me.

My heart was beating so loud I thought she could hear it. I put my arms around her and hugged her to me. That was the first time I realized how short she was. I stood nearly a head taller than her at age thirteen.

She felt terrific in my arms, I could smell the soap she used that morning, and it was intoxicating. Her hair smelled like flowers. This was the greatest moment of my young life.

Then it happened, she kissed my cheek. Not once, not twice but repeatedly, gently. Her lips felt like butterfly wings gently brushing my face. She looked up into my eyes and said words I’ll never forget.

“I wish you were five years older too.” Then her lips locked on mine. We kissed for what seemed like hours but was only mere seconds. She pulled away breaking our embrace.

“I hope you will always remember this.” She said. “ I know I will.”

With that she grabbed her empty Pepsi can and said good-bye. Tears welled in her eyes once again, the sight bringing tears to my own.

The last time I was to see Tina was two weeks later. She was loading baggage into her parent’s car. I of course was cutting the lawn. I killed the motor on the mower, and walked to the car where I offered a hand with her luggage.

Before she entered the car she gave me a quick hug and whispered in my ear. “Remember me cutie.”

“How could I forget?” I responded.


I heard it on the news that evening; a plane went down outside of O’Hare airport. It apparently lost an engine. All onboard were lost, including my beautiful neighbor, the perfect ten, now and always.


I didn’t leave the house for weeks, I couldn’t eat, I couldnt function; she was gone forever, but remains forever in my heart.

"Remember me cutie."

I always will.


In memory of Tina Bennefield 1960-1978