Goodbye

Now it’s time to say good-bye. The good times are over. I thought maybe they could come back, but I see it can’t happen. When dealing with two personalities, two value systems, two different lives, there has to be some compromise-some understanding. I feel I have done both. If I hadn’t, you wouldn’t still be here. You, on the other hand, don’t or won’t.
You believe your words and feelings are law. You say what you need to say to make up for your behavior, but you don’t believe it yourself. You fake it. Fake it till you make it is a good saying, but you have to be trying. You have to make a commitment to change your inner being. The constant apologies don’t help; they just prove you are not changing. Your only effort comes in the ways you want to change me. Intimidation, bullying and frightening tactics may work in the short run, but all they really do is cement in my mind that things will not change.
I am not about to stand by and cower to you indefinitely. I have my dreams and ideas of what life could be like. I sometimes think our ideas our compatible, but then I figure out its just another lie.
I believe in showing love by action. You believe in love by words, but your words aren’t believable; your actions a contradiction to your words. I have no trust when you speak. I look for ulterior motives in everything you say or do. Your excuses that come after your blow-ups are nothing but rationalizations to make you not look like such a jerk. It doesn’t work either. There are no excuses for the way you act.
I want a life that is good, that is full of happiness. I want to create and fulfill my dreams. That will not happen with you. You want my life to revolve around you and your dreams. I can give support and encouragement, but you must do the work. You don’t. You work with blame and guilt. If I don’t do what you want, lavish enough attention or forego my plans for yours, you blame me for not getting your way. I am not ready to spend the rest of my life taking all the blame for your life.
When you learn the concept of respect and trust, you may have a chance for a relationship, but just paying lip service to these ideas will yield nothing but empty relationships. These concepts enable communication and openness. They give you the ability to put yourself into a relationship that is equal and loving, not abusive and destructive.