Hit 'Em Up

*Final Edit---This should make this easier to read it. Some of the pronounciations and word groupings are a matter of style. Proper english would take something away from this, so it isn't grammatically "perfect". A big thank you goes out to Purple Cow for editing help.*

I didn't even want to go to campmeeting in the first place! I was "losing my religion", as the song goes, so the last thing I needed was a weekend of hearing the same self-righteous bullshit.

I told my mom flat-out that I wasn't going. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions!" I yelled. "I've been going every year, and I'm tired of it!"

"Is it because you still have a problem with the Hills?" she asked quietly.

I folded my arms and didn't say anything. I had known the Hills since I was a little kid, but they sure as hell didn't act like Christians. Until my mom had remarried, she had been raising me on her own, and money was tight. Sometimes I wore the same thing to church, week after week. The Hills, who always looked their best, and always looked down their noses at us, snickering in the pew behind us. I was glad when my step-dad took a job in Georgia so I could get away from those assholes. But my mom always loved the preaching in Florida, and would always want to drag me down there with her. I didn't want to be around those hipocrites!

"Well, I can understand why you don't like them." she admitted. "I know it's not Christian for me to say this, but they are just nasty people. If I see them there, I won't even say hi."

"Damn, Mom!" I said. My mother wasn't the type of person to admit when someone was being an asshole. She'd just suck it up and keep going. She called it her "Christian Duty" to be nice to everyone, showing them what it meant to be a Christian. It was nice to see her tell the truth for a change.

"What did I tell you about cursing around me?" said my mother immediately. I was too old for her to beat me, so she just glared.

"Sorry, Mom." I said sheepishly. "But I've never heard you say anything bad about anyone."

She shrugged. "I still want you to go. I know they're part of the reason you don't like going to church."

"Whatever." I muttered. "I've got a lot of stuff to do this weekend. I was supposed to go see a movie with Dee and Tone! We've been planning this since last month!"

My mom sighed and rolled her eyes. "Would you come if I let you bring them?"

"He-I mean yes. Yes, I'd go." An entire weekend with my two best friends? Just chilling? Hell yeah! Dee and Tone always made the most boring shit in world funny. I'd met them in my Chemistry class after all. "But you have to let us leave on Sunday night early enough to catch the movie. And they're gonna ride in my car."

"Deal. As long as you're on the campgrounds, I know you'll find your way to a sermon eventually."

I disagreed, but I didn't argue. I called up my friends and told them what was up. They groaned when I told them I couldn't see the new Hellgrinder movie.

"Damn girl! How you gonna pull out on us like that!" yelled Tone indignantly. "We always be the first ones in line for the tickets, and the first ones to tell people about the movie in school Monday morning!"

"I know!" said Dee on the other end. I was lucky I had three-way. "You know we been planning this for four weeks!"

"So y'all don't want to go on a road trip with me?" I said quietly, baiting them in.

"Road trip? Since when?" Dee wanted to know.

"And where's the road trip to?" asked Tone.

"Florida." I said. I knew they figured Florida was just one big beach, which is why I didn't tell them I was actually going to some Florida hick town, not too different from our own hick Georgia town.

"Eh, eh! You think you could let us come? I know you got a car and all." asked Tone in his way.

"You think I would be on the phone with y'all if I didn't want y'all could come? I would've just told y'all I was sick or some weak shit like that!"

"Sheeit." said Dee for effect. "We woulda known that you were faking. You ain't never sick!"

"Yeah! Your momma makes you go to school when you got the flu, talking about you gotta get perfect attendance for a scholarship! Ha!" Tone started cracking up.

"Alright. Y'all ain't gotta come."

"No, no! You know we just playing wit'chu!" said Dee.

"But y'all know not to rag on me like that." They knew I wasn't the type of person to take that. After I left Florida, I promised myself I wouldn't take anyone's shit.

"Alright, alright! We sorry Grace." said Dee meekly.

"I'm a let this go this time, but only because I hang with y'all. Now get your shit tight motherfuckers! We're leaving at sunset!" I hung up then, happy that I could bring two of my closest hanging partners with me. I got my shit together, then loaded up my car. It wasn't a brand new ride, but it was paid for, and it was mine, and I was pretty damn proud of it.

I picked up Dee and Tone, and we were on our way. I followed my mom who was driving her new Dodge Charger, crimson red and shining. I figure she got it just for campmeeting just to show off, but I didn't hate on her for it. She had been driving a little green station wagon for years. She deserved something new.

Anyway, me and my friends were cutting up! I had a good sound system, and we were blaring Trina, Khia, and Alicia Keyes all the way. Since I had an old luxury car, we had the windows rolled up, and my mom didn't hear shit. We had such a good time, the three hour car ride went by like that! Before I knew it, we were at the cabin my mom had rented for the weekend.

"We staying here?" asked Dee, a little disgusted by the ramshackle looking structure no bigger than most folks' family rooms. It's really false advertising. They should call them shacks.

"Yeah, we staying here." I told her, getting my stuff out of my car. I was used to the "ghetto" campmeeting experience.

"Don't this place have roaches?" asked Tone.

"Maybe. That's what this is for." I handed him a roach spray bottle.

Dee was so disgusted, she couldn't even think of something smart to say. "Damn." she muttered. Inside there were nothing but cots with paper-thin mattresses. The "cabin" was so small, there wasn't even enough room for a stove, or even a toilet. But my mom was used to it, and had come prepared. She pulled out the family hot plate and started cooking a meal of fake meat and Bush's Baked beans. Mom had been vegetarian for several years.

"Uh, Mrs. James, uh..." Tone started, distressed by the whole situation. "Wh-wha-wha-"

Dee rolled her eyes and cut Tone off before his stutter got any worse. "What Tone means to say is, are we in hell?"

Mom frowned, and put her hands on her hips. "Excuse me? What have I told you about using that kind of language, Dee?"

Dee lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Mrs. James, but I have no idea what's going on."

My mom looked at me curiously. "Didn't you tell your friends, that you were going to campmeeting?"

I shrugged. "I said we were going to Florida."

"Why didn't you tell them what campmeeting was all about? Why did you lie?"

"I didn't. I said Florida. They didn't ask, I didn't tell."

"Lying lips are an abomination before the Lord." said my mom immediately, and went back to stirring her beans and fake links. I shrugged. I had built up an immunity to my mom's bible verses.

"I ain't staying here! I ain't!" said Tone, walking outside.

"I don't know what you was thinking dragging us down to this religious place!" said Dee disgusted, shaping her nails with a file, sitting on the cabin steps.

"I was thinking, we wouldn't be stuck in our fucked up town for the whole weekend with nothing to do. I'm sick of that shit! We don't even have to listen to sermons! Do you know how many people spend the day just walking around? Sheeit!"

"You serious? We don't have to listen to sermons?" asked Tone.

"Man please! Do you think I would have come if I had to listen to sermons all day? I asked y'all to come beacuse it's pretty boring walking around by yourself. And we don't even have to stay on the campgrounds. I bet we can probably find a club or something tonight." I grinned. This had been a great plan. Two whole days of doing whatever we wanted to do. Kick ass!

"Hell, yes!" said Tone, giving me some daps. "I need to find someone different to battle on the mic. I beat everyone in the county anyway."

Me and Dee rolled our eyes. That was the only thing on that boy's mind. Battling. "Whatever Tone." We both said.

I told my mom we were going to see someone I knew, and that we would be right back. Of course, I didn't like anyone from campmeeting. I thought they were all fake people more concerned with looking good in the church, than listening to a sermon. I didn't have time for people like that.

We started out looking for a club, but we couldn't find anything in this area. We stopped at a grocery store(the town didn't even have a Wal-Mart), and asked around. A few people laughed and said the only club close to the town was about an hour away. And it played country.

"Forget this girl." Dee told me. "We might as well go back to that shanty you call a cabin. At least we'll be able to look around for awhile."

"There's a curfew. The place is crawling with security." I muttered.

"What? You mean they got snipers and shit in that little ol' campground?" shouted Tone.

I thought of the security officers, most of them no older than me, riding around on golf carts. They only had walkie-talkies, and wore a half-assed uniform of blue jeans and a tee-shirt that said, cornily, "Security". I laughed my ass off all the way to the parking lot.

"She was just joking, Tone! Of course there ain't no security in that little ol' place!" said Dee. "You play too much Grace!"

We went back to the campgrounds and I showed them around. There were the tents where the children's programs were held, the old Main Pavilion, which was now the Youth Pavilion(and hot as hell without no a/c!) and of course the brand-new Main Pavilion. A few go-carts passed us now and then, but it was so dark they couldn't see us. They had some kind of all-night prayer thing going on in the Youth Pavilion, so we hang out in the way back for a few hours. At around two o'clock in the morning, we went back to the cabin and crashed on some cots before my mom woke us all up.

"Rise and shine, everyone! It's a beautiful Sabbath morning!" said my mother, waking us up at six o'clock.

"Man, fuck that noise, man." I grumbled in my pillow. My mom didn't hear.

"If you don't go to the showers now, you'll have cold water. There's several hundred people here on Sabbath morning." She already had on her bath sandals, and had her little plastic basket with her bath stuff.

"I ain't taking no cold shower!" said Dee getting up. Me and Tone grumbled all the way to the showers. There were already people at the showers in the South Bathroom, the one closest to our cabin, so we had to backtrack to Youth Pavilion and shower there. I saw a few people I actually liked there, but didn't holla at 'em. I was too sleepy.

We shuffled back to the cabin and got ready for the day. I had to redo Tone's corn-rows, but we had a lot of time. Dee touched up my ponytail, and I put some flips in her hair. I wore my cutest outfit(or else I was going to get hated on), a summer skirt with a tank top, and rope sandals. Dee wore a tight-fitting tube dress with platform sandals. Tone wore the only suit he had, and looked like a pimp without the hat.

We walked around for awhile, talking chilling. Dee wanted to hear the choir so we went into the Youth Pavilion for a while. I snickered through the whole thing. The lead singers were always pastor's children. What bull!

I scanned the crowd after awhile, looking for people I knew so I could avoid the hell out of 'em. I spotted two of The Hills, who were laughing and cutting up in the back. They spotted me, and they pointed and laughed. I shot them the bird. They looked surprised(usually I wouldn't do anything) and angry. I mouthed the words "bitches" at them, then turned back around. By that time, Dee had had enough of the singing, so we sneaked out a side door.

"Hey you!" called someone behind me. I didn't turn around. I recognized the voice as LaNisha, Hill, nicknamed Nisha, and I wasn't about to answer the ho.

"Grace. That girl is calling you." Tone told me.

"I don't respond to skanky bitches." I replied, kicking up road gravel with my sandals, not caring if rocks got between my toes.

"What did you say?" I could hear her suprised voice behind me.

I turned around. She hadn't changed in the past year, still wearing her high updo with red weave, and the same nasty dark lipstick with makeup that was too light. Her dress was nice though. "You heard me."

"Don't make me come over there and break your shit up! You know I'll do it! Bitch." She told me, waving her hands in the air.

"Bitch, I'll snatch all that fake weave out your head and return it to the pony you stole it from. And you need to get your makeup straight. You look like a black version of Casper." I told her, straight-faced as hell. Everyone around us, including Nisha's sister all said "Oh snap". Tone and Dee high-fived me. Nisha just stood and stared at me. I had never stood up for myself when she and her family picked on me before. "What's wrong, ho? Weave too tight?"

Nisha started sputtering. "W-well, you're just lucky this is the Lord's Sabbath!" and she walked off. A few people walked up to me and told me that was long time coming. I ignored them. They never stood up for me when I was being dogged. I hated them just as much as The Hills.

Dee and Tone were cheering me on when we went back to the cabin. "Hey, Grace! I would have paid money to see you fight that bitch!" said Tone.

"That was one trifling, nasty ho! Do you know her?" Dee asked.

"That was one of The Hills." I said. I had mentioned The Hills before. They had to put up with the same shit at thier respective churches, so they understood.

"Damn! I didn't know that, girl! If I'da known that, I would have helped you stomp the bitch!" said Dee, she started to take off her earrings. "I say we go back and fuck her up! You can't just step to someone like that and not expect your shit to get scratched up!"

"If she puts her hand on me, I'ma handle it. But I'm not gonna beat her ass unless I have to. Y'all know we're down here with my momma." I reminded everyone.

"True. True." Tone agreed. "But if she puts her hands on you, I will not be held accountable for my actions."

Dee pushed Tone. "You's a dude! You know you can't beat on a girl!" she exclaimed. "This is a lady's thang."

Tone snickered. "Y'all ain't no ladies." We both started to slap-box him until he gave up. Then we all laughed.

Me and Tone played a Fire Emblem battle while Dee listened to my new Mariah album(she hated video games), until my mom showed up. I hid the GBA's and my Walkman under my pillow. "Hey, Mom!" I called out.

"What is everyone doing in this cabin? You are supposed to be in there listening to the sermon!" said my mom, with her hands on her hips.

"We did go into the Youth Pavilion, Ma. We just left early. The preacher was about to give the benediction. We didn't miss anything." I lied out my ass.

"Riiiight." said my mom rolling her eyes and sighing. "Well it's lunch time. What does everyone-" The cabin door swung open violently, and in stormed Mrs. Hill, a tall, light-skinned woman who always looked her best. She wasn't wearing any makeup(most hardcore SDA's don't), but she did have a tall up-do, which was all her real hair. Her nails, outfit, everything was straight. As usual.

"Where is she?" Mrs. Hill asked my mom.

"Where is who?" My mother asked. She didn't have a clue of what happened between me and Nisha.

"Your daughter!" snarled Mrs. Hill snarled.

"Damn Grace!" snickered Tone from his cot. "That bitch is crazy!" Me and Dee burst out laughing.

Mrs. Hill turned red. I mean, she turned the color of a hotdog. "You better tell your nasty daughter to stay away from LaNisha. Or else I'm calling security to have all of you escorted off!."

"Let me call them for you, so I can report you for trepassing, and damaging conference property." Said my mother coolly, pointing to the door that was now hanging off it's hinges. "You're not going to run over me in my own cabin!" Me and my friends were stunned. My mom was always the kind who would try to smooth things with everybody, no matter how much they dissed her.

Mrs. Hill squinted her eyes evilly. "I see what kind of Christian you are. Can't even take care of your child. It's a shame." She turned to go. Mom didn't sink to her level by saying anything back.

"Like you said. Crazy!" said me and Dee. We all wiled out, but my mom looked angry.

"What did you do, Grace?" said my mom, grabbing my arm.

"Ow, Mom! Dang! Her nasty little daughter was talking about me again, and I wasn't going to take it anymore. All I did was put her l'il behind in check! I didn't fight her or nothing!" I protested.

Mom let me go. "Heavenly Father." she said, looking skyward. "On The Lord's Sabbath, no less. I am sick and tired of that woman's children causing conflict!" she sighed, suddenly very tired. "Well, we're leaving after tonight's concert. This is a shame." She made us a lunch of griller sandwiches and fresh juice that she had made before from passion fruit and strawberries. Mom never went anywhere without her Champion juicer. All and all, it wasn't half bad.

"What's this made of?" asked Tone, picking at his griller.

"It's soy product." my mother replied. "It's cheese steak flavored."

"Cheese steak? From soy?" Dee laughed.

I shrugged. "At least the cheese is real." I told her. "It's not that bad." I was used to my mom's cooking.

Dee took a nibble, and decided she liked it. Tone didn't touch his. "Uh uh, Mrs. James! You ain't making me into no vegetarian. I ain't eating it!"

"You won't be able to get nothing else 'til after sunset, man!" I told him. "All the vending machines are shut down 'til after sunset."

"Are you for real?" he asked, looking scared.

"Would I lie?" That made everyone laugh, but Tone ate it. He didn't bad mouth vegetarian cooking ever again.

After lunch, me and my peeps walked around some more. I saw the same people I had seen at the shower that morning, J.C. and Loni, and this time I said hey.

"What you saying 'hey' for now?" asked Loni, lifting up her trademark dark shades to look at me. She wears them so people will stop saying her grey eyes look "pretty". She hates that shit. Eyes are eyes. "I thought you was too good to speak."

"I got four hours of sleep, girl. Plus I had to drive three hours from Georgia with my people." I explained. "I ain't in no mood to talk when I'm butt naked anyway!" She laughed, and we hugged.

J.C. looked at my friends. "Who are y'all supposed to be?"

"My name is Tone, girls can't leave me alone, 'cause I always stay in their home. And I don't think it's sinful, to be a big nympho, I get more ass in a day then a mack in a limo. What!" Flowed Tone easily.

J.C. nodded. "You got skills, son!" he said, give him daps. "They call me J.C., 'cause when a woman rides me, she thinks she's dying, so she calls out to god, 'don't take me'." We all laughed, and gave him daps, knowing he was tight.

"You still got it, man." I told him. "This is my girl, Dee." I said, introducing her to J.C. and Loni. I told them what was going on with me in Georgia, and Dee and Tone were the first to jump in if I was lying about something. Loni and J.C. told me what had been happening at my old church. It was the same old shit. The Hills were being haters as usual. I told them what happened between me and Nisha that morning.

"Uh uh! You lying!" said J.C. "You fucked with that girl, and didn't get in trouble for nothing? How?!"

"Her momma came to my cabin, but my momma told her to get out. She almost reported her ass to security for almost breaking our door." I said. Dee and Tone nodded in agreement.

"Your momma?! Mrs. James? I don't believe that. She wouldn't stand up for herself if she got arrested for someone else's dope!" Loni exclaimed.

"Eh, don't say that about my momma." I warned. "She showed me today she can hold her own."

J.C. and Loni looked at each other. "You've changed too, Grace. That's good. Too many people fucked with you. It's time you got some get-back!" said J.C.

"You know I didn't mean it like that, Grace." Said Loni. That was her way of apologizing.

I accepted it, and all five of us hung out until it was time for the gospel concert. Then all of us went to the back of the Youth Pavilion, writing back and forth between all of us in a notebook, laughing, cutting up, not giving a fuck who saw us. We were doing our thing for half an hour, and then The Hills came in and sat in the aisle across from us on the same row. All of the Hill kids were there, Nisha, Toya(the younger sister who had been with Nisha earlier), and Mikey and Thomas who were their older brothers.

We ignored them, doing what we were doing before. "We ain't got to say nothing to them." I told everyone. "They ain't nobody."

"Bitch, I know you ain't talking about me!" hissed Nisha from across the aisle.

I narrowed my eyes. I wasn't going to take shit like that, not after her momma rolled up in my fucking cabin and shit. "You don't know me bitch! You think I was playing with you earlier? You bring your crazy ass momma around me all you want! I'll still beat your ass! Then I'll sell your stank ass weave on Ebay for fifteen cents!" I retorted.

"Eh, little girl! You ain't touching my sister." said Thomas, the oldest.

"Well, eh motherfucker!" whispered Tone. "You ain't touching my cousin! That's my cousin!" Tone and Dee were like family.

"Don't sang it ho! You better brang it ho!" Dee and Loni started chanting.

"Alright bitch! Alright! As soon as this concert is over and done with, I'm a beat your little nappy headed ass!" she said.

"Uh uh, bitch!" I said, riled up. "I'm a beat your ho ass right now! I'm sick of hearing your shit!" She looked shocked like she didn't know what to do. "Uh huh, trick! That's right! It's five to four! What now?!"

"I can't fight in these clothes. I'm a have to go to my um...my cabin." She looked real scared, but she couldn't back down now.

"You lucky I'm letting you go. I should let you get your shit get all scratched up. But alright." I had to think of something. If we were caught fighting, we'd get kicked out, and my momma would be pissed as hell. "We meeting over by the Primary tent, so you can't call security, you little skanky ass ho!" The Hills left, and we decided to leave too. I had a plan.

I made them follow me to a little building that was behind the Youth Pavilion. No one else was around, everyone was in the two Pavilions enjoying the music. I picked the lock that was on the building with one of my hairpins, and let myself inside. It was a storage room for all the kiddy arts and crafts. Glue, glitter, construction paper, shit like that. But it also held some toys for kids. Small handheld video games, a few old computers, even a couple of old-school Etch-a-sketches. But I wasn't interested in all that. I needed the next best thing to beating some ass! I needed some Super Soakers.

I found them under a pile of felt. There was about ten of them, but I only needed five. I handed one to everyone, and they looked at me like I was crazy.

"Uh, Grace? Have you lost your mind? We need to be behind the Primary tent so you can be that ho's ass!" said Dee.

"If I beat the bitch up, you know she's gonna tell security. I ain't trying to go to jail for nobody. Plus, I got my momma here. I ain't trying to make her look bad on account of me." I walked everyone done to the lake, which was where all the baptisms take place. The lake water around there was nastier than anything that came out of the tap. I even managed to get some tadpoles in my gun. We all went back to my cabin and got some rain jackets(my mom comes prepared for anything!), and hid the squirt guns underneath them.

We walked to the primary tent, taking advantage of the sparse streetlamps. No one could tell we were packing heat. The Hills were already waiting for us. Nisha started walking towards me almost immediately.

"Stop right there, ho!" said Tone in a deep voice. "We packing heat."

Nisha looked at us, and the bitch started bawling! She really thought we had guns! "I couldn't take any chances of getting in trouble because of your snitching ass, so I had to make good use of a shipment I got last week!" I yelled.

"Oh my God! They're drug dealers!" whimpered Toya.

"You shut the fuck up!" hissed Loni.

"Everybody get on the motherfucking ground right now!" I shouted.

"But you'll kill us!" cried Nisha.

"You want to take chances with your life? Keep on fucking with me bitch!" I said coldly. They all got down on their knees. "Get ready y'all! Some shit's about to go down right hur!" The Hills all started shaking, and they closed their eyes. For the first time since I'd known her, Nisha started praying. "Come on! Let's shoot these motherfuckers!" I commanded.

We all opened our jackets and let loose on their asses. They started screaming because that lake water was cold! Not to mention all those squirming tadpoles!

"Bitch! I'm a kill you!" said Nisha, trying to get up. She kept slipping in a puddle of water.

"Run y'all!" yelled J.C. We threw the Super Soakers back in the storage building, then we ran for the Main Pavillion, hoping The Hills wouldn't follow us all wet 'n shit. J.C. and Loni gave us their e-mail addresses, and we gave them ours, since I probably wouldn't see them again. This was going to be my last campmeeting since I was going off to college the next year. We split up from there. I didn't want to get J.C. and Loni in trouble, since they were a little younger than me and my peeps.

We went straight to my mom's pew, and sat next to her. My mom looked happy to see that we were in church, so she didn't ask any questions about where we had been, even though we were all out breath. We sat there for a few minutes, suffering through some semi-professional gospel singing. Then all hell broke loose!

"I see you bitch!" called an enraged voice from the back of the pavilion. "Did you think I was going to let that shit go!"

"Shit." I cursed quietly, as I looked back. It was The Hills, with Nisha in the lead, and they looked pissed as hell! They were soaked from head to foot, and they were still spitting out tadpoles. Mrs. and Mr. Hill ran up to them.

The ushers walked up and asked them to leave. "I'm not through with you, you little heifer!" called Nisha as she was escorted out. Mrs. Hill slapped her.

"That's it! I can't even worship in the Lord's House without that woman and her kids causing trouble! We're going home!" My mother announced. A few adults gave her some words of encouragement as we walked past. My mom ignored them. They were just instigating. We went the cabin and packed everything up. Mom went over to the office to drop off her key, and picked up some magazines and books at the health food store. Then we set off, driving up the circular road to the campmeeting exit.

We didn't get too far until we saw one car, parked on the wrong side of the road. It was The Hills, greeting the people getting out of the Main Pavillion. My mom leaned on her horn. "What are they doing?" she asked me from her rolled down window.

"The bitch is crazy! She knows we trying to get out of here!" yelled Tone.

"We should have kicked all their l'il asses when we had the chance!" Dee muttered.

"I ain't gonna take this shit!" I got out of my car, and approached Mrs. Hill. "Please move your car." I told her. I wasn't about to show my ass with all those people getting out church and about ten other cars behind me!

She folded her arms and stared me down. "I ain't moving nothing." she huffed. "Until you apologize to my daughter."

I folded my arms. "I didn't do nothing. I ain't going to apologize to nothing." Her little nasty children deserved what they got!

At this point, my mom got out her car. "What's going on? Don't they see people are trying to leave? You can't just park here in the middle of the road-oh!" The Hill's car moved forward and nearly ran her over.

"Now what, bitch!" screamed Nisha from behind the wheel.

"Now, I'm going to call the police, you little fool." threatened my mother. The Hills all snickered at each other, but they moved their car. Me and mom drove off quickly.

"What is wrong with those people?" asked my mom on her cell phone talking to me. "They've been messing with us for years, but the minute we fight back, they wile out!"

"I know ma! I didn't even fight that girl! I just got her wet!" I said. We heard a loud engine behind us. "I know they are not!"

But they were. The Hills were bearing down on us at full speed! "Momma! Pull over! The Hills are coming at us!"

My Mom swerved onto a grassy median. The Hills continued to chase my car, revving the engine. One thing I can say about my l'il ole' Cutlass is that it can hold on to its speed! I went up to a hundred miles an hour, then drove off the road into a cow field. The Hills, with their flashy Cadillac, ended up spinning out into a gas station, and hit two parked cars on the way.

"Yeah!" said Tone, slapping my hand.

"That was the shit, girl! You should go pro!" We ran out of the field to see if my mom was okay. She was calmly calling the police, who were out there in a second.

Mrs. Hills' first mistake was that she blamed it all on us(even though all the witness's said she was the crazy ho), her second mistake was fighting back when the officer handcuffed her. And when my mom piped up about Nisha almost hitting her with the car, Nisha was the next to go down. The cops charged them both with attempted homicide with a dangerous weapon(the car), and took 'em to jail. All we had to do was make statements. Those redneck cops knew how set shit up. I was just glad they were on our side.

When we got home, me, Tone, and Dee didn't even worry about seeing the movie. We chilled out, and gloated. 'Cause we didn't even have to hit 'em up!